Your Turn: “My Boyfriend Isn’t Ready to Be My Daughter’s Dad”
In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
I have a three-year-old daughter. The father is not in her life at all. The father’s family is not in her life at all. I was dating this guy named “Carl” for a year who was a wonderful guy for my daughter but not for me, so we split up. The day I split up with Carl I met a guy named “Frank” whom I have been dating almost two years now. I was living at my mom’s and he was living with his friends for a whole year. I stayed over there a lot, but now he lives at his own house and my daughter has a room set up over there and everything is at his new house including my stuff. We stay there every night. Unfortunately, he just recently said he’s not ready to be a daddy to her and he wants to live his life. He has not had a job the whole time we have been together, but he is a full time student. He receives a G.I. Bill from when he was in the army. He is 26 and I’m 23.
I love him and my daughter likes him so much. They play together and we do family things together, but his friend just broke up with his girlfriend and wants to start a band, so now Frank wants to join this little band. He has been practicing guitar. I think he needs to grow up. I am a medical biller and coder, and I am ready to settle down. The last couple days all I do is cry. I don’t want this relationship to end, but I want and need him to be able to accept my daughter. It’s like he’s confused. One minute he is all about her and then the next he needs a break. I don’t know what to do. I want my daughter to have a father. His family all accepts her as well. — Looking for a Father for My Daughter