In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
The worst part is, I have my own life — I’m independent, and if I didn’t have a boyfriend I would be just fine. I always feel like I am an afterthought when we aren’t together. What I want is consistency in our relationship instead of these “highs” and “lows.” We recently went on a vacation and we had a great time, but once we got back he fell off the face of the earth. I love my boyfriend — he’s great to me, and I feel terrible for even bringing this up because he’s so good to me, but I just can’t handle his ups and downs anymore.
My question is: how do I breach this topic without sounding clingy or needy and in a way he will understand? I have tried to tell him how this makes me feel before, but I don’t think he understands how it feels to be continually let down. — Second to Church