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Your Turn: “My Boyfriend’s Brother Tried to Sleep With Me!”

In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 16 months now. We’ve overcome a lot of stuff, and we are doing better. But throughout the relationship, his brother has flirted with me on several occasions, even trying to get me in his bed at one point. I have flat-out refused him time and time again, but never said anything to my boyfriend until about two months ago.

At first, he was shocked. But now he doesn’t care — he still talks to his brother and gets mad when I get upset. But I feel worthless. He doesn’t seem to care that his brother tried to take me away from him multiple times. He still wants his brother in his life! The way I see it, his brother tried stabbing him in the back, and obviously has no remorse for his actions. How can I get my boyfriend to care? — Between Two Brothers

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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.

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Comments on this entry are closed.

avatar artsygirl January 23, 2013, 9:10 am

LW – Of course your BF still wants a relationship with his brother…they are BROTHERS and by your account nothing has happened expect flirting. I would NOT deliver an ultimatum to your BF suggesting he has to choose between you and his brother, that is wrong and you are going to loose out. In all likelihood your BF’s brother downplayed what happened and suggested it was a joke (perhaps for him it was). Now you are obviously uncomfortable with the situation so that leaves you with two choices. 1. You can calmly tell your BF that you are uncomfortable with his brother and would prefer not to spend any time alone with him (fairly easy) or 2. by your own account your relationship has been rocky so you might want to just cut bait and run before you end up more in love with your BF and extracting yourself gets harder.

avatar lets_be_honest January 23, 2013, 9:19 am

The ol’ overcome so much together already. In 16 months? Come on. Just moa, this is too dramatic.

avatar bethany January 23, 2013, 9:30 am

That was my first thought, too. When people who haven’t been together for a long time (think 5+years), start off by saying they’ve ‘overcome so much already’, my first thought is that this is never going to work out.

Cara Cara January 23, 2013, 9:44 am

I disagree, it is entirely possible to overcome a lot in 16 months. My last relationship was 2 years, and my ex was there for me when my parents died, and some other factors that made the relationship a lot harder. Those were all outside factors that we overcame together and it made me want to fight for the relationship. It is different when the relationship itself has problems though.

avatar lets_be_honest January 23, 2013, 9:48 am

Often its not like that though. Its overcoming issues IN the relationship.

avatar bethany January 23, 2013, 9:49 am

Dealing with what you had happen is different than what I meant. The way the LW phrased it sounded to me like they had a lot of issues within the relationship that they “overcame”. Dealing with the death of a family member or a serious illness or something like that is a whole other story, which if you make it through, often makes your relationship even stronger. Reading the rest of the letter and the tone of it all gives me the sense that the LW just ‘overcame’ a bunch of drama.

avatar MonaParis January 23, 2013, 2:08 pm

I’m sorry you lost your parents Cara :( <3

avatar cdobbs January 23, 2013, 9:10 am

Yikes! What kind of man would want to betray his own brother like that! Unfortunately LW it is your boyfriends brother! I say avoid the brother like the plague. Not sure what you are hoping for? Blood is thicker than water. If you are asking your boyfriend to choose you (who has only been in his life a little over a year) over his brother, then I’m sorry but I think you will lose.

avatar Doowleb January 29, 2013, 10:04 am

Your boyfriend seems okay with overlooking his brothers malfeasance.
Tell him you’ve decided to sleep with his brother since he’s okay with it.
I’m sure the whole problem will clear itself up quickly…one way or the other.

avatar MMcG January 23, 2013, 9:13 am

If your bf is ok with his girlfriend being hit on by his brother, there’s likely some weird dynamic there — competition, jealousy, whatever; or maybe he’s the future inappropriate uncle to your kids because that’s how he is. Either way if you aren’t ok with it I would MOA. Especially if the guy TRIED TO CLIMB IN BED WITH YOU!?! Ewwwwww.

Also. They are brothers, I don’t think your relationship is headed anywhere positive if less than 2 years in your trying to convince your bf to eliminate his brother from his life entirely for reasons that don’t involve words like murder and mayhem.

avatar MMcG January 23, 2013, 9:15 am

3 in a row for bros over… I’m not going to be vulgar so early. But I was thinking it ;)

avatar cdobbs January 23, 2013, 9:50 am

i was thinking the same thing!!!!

avatar Amanda January 23, 2013, 9:17 am

“But now he doesn’t care — he still talks to his brother and gets mad when I get upset. But I feel worthless.”

If you feel worthless that your boyfriend talks to his brother, it’s time to MOA.

avatar SuzyQ January 23, 2013, 9:21 am

You can’t expect your boyfriend to ditch his brother because the brother was disrespectful. But you SHOULD expect him to respect your feelings and talk to his brother about the offensive behavior. If he’s not willing to help you create boundaries with his brother, you should get out. They have a dysfunctional relationship, and you really don’t want to get caught up in that. Frankly, the fact that he hasn’t done so yet tells me that he is not ready to set appropriate boundaries with his family.

bagge72 bagge72 January 23, 2013, 10:32 am

We really don’t know that he hasn’t done this. He probably has, and is sick of talking about it.

avatar Painted_lady January 23, 2013, 11:03 am

But it sounds like it’s still going on. I’m not saying he should cut his brother out, but this behavior (climbing in bed?!?! FUCK THAT) is completely unacceptable in anyone.

Someone who gets angry with you for saying, “Hey, this is making me massively uncomfortable” is not a safe person. I hate to be overdramatic, but climbing in bed with someone is scary as fuck and a serious boundary violation. If the brother goes further (and it sounds like he might), then what happens? Is the boyfriend going to be angry at the girlfriend for having the audacity to object to being violated further by his brother?

Fabelle Fabelle January 23, 2013, 11:12 am

You’re not the only one who’s saying he climbed into bed with her, so not to pick on you, but: I don’t think that’s actually what even happened? She says he tried to GET her in bed with him, which (to me) just seems like a vague phrase to describe some kind of verbal proposition. She doesn’t say he climbed into bed with her.

avatar Painted_lady January 23, 2013, 11:37 am

Yeah, you’re right. That’s vague. At the same time, she’s made it clear she’s not interested (at the very least, by not leaving the boyfriend for the brother), and I’m not sure I’m okay with needing someone to be “uncomfortable enough” with something like that in order to be taken seriously. She’s uncomfortable, the brother isn’t respecting that, the boyfriend needs to back her up. I’m not sure why he’s angry with her that his brother hasn’t quit harassing her.

bagge72 bagge72 January 23, 2013, 11:56 am

You don’t know that he isn’t backing her up, she because he chooses to still have a realtionship with his brother does not mean he hasn’t talked, and set boundries with him. It sounds like she is trying to force her BF to never to talk to his brother again.

bagge72 bagge72 January 23, 2013, 11:55 am

To me it sounds like he has stopped this, and hasn’t done it in a while, and now that things are better with her and her BF she decided to spring this on him. He also didn’t try to get into bed with her, he tried to get her in his bed, there is a huge difference in those two things.

avatar Painted_lady January 23, 2013, 12:18 pm

You’re right about the getting in bed thing – I misread that. If he *has* said something, the LW didn’t mention it. I’m not saying he needs to cut off contact, but if the brother’s still being inappropriate while she’s said that she’s uncomfortable with it, then it’s still a problem, and he’s angry with her for continuing to be offended by something she was already offended by, that someone else is doing, not her. She definitely can’t make him care about this, and she absolutely needs to decide what she personally will not accept…and then she needs to be backed up, which we don’t know if that will happen because she hasn’t tried it yet. I read it, though, that he’s dismissive of her claims – maybe because of the way she’s asking, or maybe for other reasons (put them in my post). And if he continues to be so after she sets some boundaries, it’s time to go.

Fabelle Fabelle January 23, 2013, 9:22 am

I feel like I’m about to dismiss this letter with a “you all sound very young” & I don’t really want to do that, but where do I begin? I hate the whole “boys will be boys” thing, but in this situation, these two guys just seem like they’re being…guys? (I’m not very eloquent today). They’re young, I’m assuming, & your boyfriend’s brother just seems like he’s trying his chances with you/practicing flirting. LW, you don’t mention what he actually said or HOW he tried to “get [you] in his bed at one point” so I have nothing to work with, here.

“How can I get my boyfriend to care?” Um, what is telling you that he DOESN’T care? I’m not a fan of your attitude here—it seems like you want him to defend your honor or something, which is kind of bullshit. “He still talks to his brother and gets mad when I get upset.” So you want him to stop talking to his brother? That’s real nice. “… his brother tried to take me away from him multiple times.” Oh, please. Calm down. A few comments here or there (sorry, without any details, I’m having trouble taking this guy’s “flirting” seriously) doesn’t mean he’s trying to steal you away.

I know I’m being harsh, but the vibe I’m getting from your second paragraph is that you want some crazy dramatic “How dare he!! He will removed from my life immediately!!!” reaction from your boyfriend, which—to you—somehow equals caring. I’m sure he cares (you did say he was shocked at first) & is just getting sick of you implying he shouldn’t talk to his brother anymore. It’s his BROTHER; they will be in each other’s lives forever. I’m pretty sure you won’t.

LadyinPurpleNotRed LadyinPurpleNotRed January 23, 2013, 9:36 am

WFS!

avatar spark January 24, 2013, 8:36 am

Exactly! Sounds like LW has a major princess complex.

And LW, you are the one making the choices. The brother can’t take you away; you can choose to go with him or not. Nothing he says or flirts can steal you away. Obviously, your boyfriend trusts you, so why would he worry about losing you to his brother? It’s one thing that you feel uncomfortable, which he should certainly address, but it’s quite another thing to ask him to worry that you’ll be stolen from him.

avatar ebstarr January 23, 2013, 9:22 am

“How can I get my boyfriend to care?”

The thing is, this is sort of a silly question since you can’t control other people’s feelings. My feeling is that your boyfriend obviously trusts you. Yay! So he’s not worried that his brother is trying to “take you away from him” (kind of a yucky phrase, to be honest, I mean your’e not a toy). If you want your boyfriend to care, don’t try to convince him you’re a possession about to be stolen. Focus on your own feelings — the brother makes you very uncomfortable. If your boyfriend doesn’t care about your feelings once you explain them, you can’t make him care. If that happens, then you’ll know you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care that you’re uncomfortable and feel harassed, and at that point you should probably leave.

But make this about you and your feelings — don’t try to dictate their relationship unless the brother does something bad enough to warrant it. I’m talking rape or murder. (DON’T give the brother a chance to do this if you’re uncomfortable. You should never have to be alone with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable and you can refuse to spend time with him at all if you want — that’s completely your prerogative.)

avatar ebstarr January 23, 2013, 9:26 am

*you’re

the_optimist the_optimist January 23, 2013, 9:38 am

Are you sure he hasn’t spoken to his brother about your feelings? Has the brother tried anything on you since you’ve informed your boyfriend of what’s happened? Not to generalize, but the guys I know usually have a conversation (or, um, all-out fight on some occasions) about whatever is bothering them, and then drop the subject. So, unless the brother’s still harassing you, I think it’s safe to assume they’re both over it. And I think you should be, too.

And why do I think you should be? Because you don’t even really seem to be upset over the brother’s behavior anymore. You’re pissed at your boyfriends reaction–or lack of reaction– to his brother’s behavior. You can’t ban your boyfriend from seeing his brother, and if you can’t handle that fact, you need to end this relationship now.

Copa Copa January 23, 2013, 9:51 am

“How can I get my boyfriend to care?”

You can ‘t. You can never MAKE another person care about something. You can’t control omeone else’s thoughts or feelings.

I say MOA. Off the top of my head I cannot come up with a single scenario in which a boyfriend would pick his girlfriend of a year over hiw own flesh and blood, and this certainly wouldn’t even come close.

Copa Copa January 23, 2013, 9:52 am

*someone

avatar lets_be_honest January 23, 2013, 9:54 am

Read ‘you can’t control omelet’s thoughts’ lol

parton_doll parton_doll January 23, 2013, 9:59 am

I don’t think this is a matter of getting your boyfriend to care, so to speak. It sounds like you are posing an ultimatum to him … either pick you or his brother. On top of that it’s a classic he said/she said Family will usually win out with in cases like this.

You don’t really provide any background on your bf’s relationship with his brother or what your actual conversation was with your boyfriend. Did you ask to set new boundaries like not wanting to be alone with his brother, limiting contact with the brother and bf when you do things as a couple, asking him to have a discussion with his brother about crossing lines, etc? If you haven’t done that, try and see what happens. It could be that your bf didn’t know how to approach the situation and wanted to keep peace. If you did try that and your bf is unreceptive to your concerns and blatantly ignoring them, this just may not be the relationship for you.

avatar Guy Friday January 23, 2013, 9:59 am

Quoting MMcG:
If your bf is ok with his girlfriend being hit on by his brother, there’s likely some weird dynamic there — competition, jealousy, whatever; or maybe he’s the future inappropriate uncle to your kids because that’s how he is.

Well, for starters, I think we would need A LOT more evidence before we started down the “inappropriate uncle” path. There’s a big difference between flirting with someone your own age and making inappropriate comments to children. As for the “weird dynamic,” I don’t think it’s that weird. Call it validation, call it competition, call it whatever you want, but guys like knowing their significant others are desirable. I’m a little thrilled when my wife walks in a room and heads turn; I mean, other guys find her attractive, but she’s here with me, and that’s kind of awesome, you know? I’m not going to get all offended if other guys double-take or anything, because that would be silly.

LW, you need to calm down a bit about your boyfriend not making a big deal about this. For one, your letter doesn’t seem to indicate that the brother has tried anything since you told your boyfriend about it, which leads me to believe your boyfriend quietly told his brother, “Dude, you’re making her uncomfortable. Chill the hell out.” And as for your grand Shakespearean dramatic approach to this “he tried to steal me away from my boyfriend” thing . . . well, I’m not trying to be mean here, but that kind of assumes you’re all that and a bag of chips and that his goal was to steal you away, and I’m kind of doubting you’re right about that. I’m pretty sure the brother was flirting with you because you were around and — more importantly — because he knew nothing was ever going to come of it. Another newsflash about guys: just because we flirt with you doesn’t mean we mean what we say. Hell, I flirt shamelessly with female court clerks every day in the hopes they’ll squeeze in my hearings or take my case next so I don’t have to wait, and it’s not like any of them believe I’m going to leave my wife no matter how many times I say we should run away to the Cayman Islands. :-) I’m pretty sure if you ever said to the brother, “Ok. Let’s go for it,” he’d have gotten so tongue-tied and frozen you’d have laughed your head off.

I’m not saying the brother was right for doing it and making you uncomfortable, but is the brother actually still flirting with you? If he is, then talk to your boyfriend about limiting your time around the brother. If he isn’t, then assume your boyfriend’s shock resulted in a conversation to his brother and that it took effect. But, seriously, stop with the dramatics. As other people have pointed out, you can go right ahead and demand your boyfriend choose, but I’ll put all the money in my pockets right now that his choice is going to leave you single again.

avatar lets_be_honest January 23, 2013, 10:20 am

“I’m a little thrilled when my wife walks in a room and heads turn; I mean, other guys find her attractive”
There is a pretty big difference between random guys turning heads and your own brother looking your wife up and down, no?

I agree with what you’re saying otherwise.

avatar ktfran January 23, 2013, 10:35 am

Your second paragraph is very important for the LW to read, I think.

People like feeling validated, and most of the time, flirting is harmless. And it’s fun.

When I was engaged and wearing the ring, I was hit on all the time. A lot more than when I was single? I’m pretty sure it’s because people just wanted to flirt, knew nothing would come of it, and have their fun.

Kate B. Kate B. January 23, 2013, 11:19 am

I get what you’re saying. But trying to get someone into your bed is a bit beyond harmless flirting to me, especially if it upsets her. It may have been meant as a joke, but she clearly didn’t take it as one. Plus, that’s kind of a mean joke: “I really want you. Nope, just kidding!”

To the LW: You can’t make somebody care. They either do or they don’t. I can understand why you would be upset by the brother’s behavior. It shows a clear lack of boundaries and respect. If your BF is making you feel worthless and downplaying your feelings, that’s not respectful either. If you’re waiting for him to challenge his brother to a duel, that’s not going to happen. He’s his brother, he’s blood. What is happening is that both these guys are making you uncomfortable and they don’t seem to care. So, MOA. You don’t need them.

avatar GatorGirl January 23, 2013, 10:03 am

You can not make someone care. Seriously. You can not force them to care.

“We’ve overcome a lot of stuff, and we are doing better.” So you’ve only been together for one year and 4 months and you’ve already had a phase that you’re “doing better” from? This isn’t worth your time. Move on. Find a guy who doesn’t have a creepy brother and who you don’t have to overcome a lot of stuff in the first year of your relationship.

avatar muffy January 23, 2013, 10:04 am

I think you’re concerned with the fact that because your boyfriend is still close with his brother it means he doesn’t care about you. He may very well have spoken to his brother and closed the matter up. Have the comments continued since you told your boyfriend? If not, then I would say he talked to his brother and they patched things up. Just because he wants to keep his brother in his life does not mean he doesn’t care about you. The brother said some stupid comments – he didn’t rape you (God forbid).

Do you want him to duel for your honour or something? I mean seriously – just be flattered that the brother thinks you’re hot and ignore him. And next time he says something and it bothers you just tell him you’re going to let your bf know and let him know.

avatar Sunshine Brite January 23, 2013, 10:14 am

Wow, I already had to delete a response I believe would’ve been too harsh to hear my point. I feel like this is unsustainable and unthinkable to expect someone you’ve been dating a matter of months to cut off their immediate family due to something that you didn’t even appear to communicate well about. He’s only known what’s happened for 2 months and I don’t know how you put the advances to him but clearly you let it build up bigger than what he’s taken it to be. This is his reaction. Either accept his brother’s presence in his life or MOA.

avatar Lindsay January 23, 2013, 10:17 am

I’m on the fence about this. On one hand, your boyfriend shouldn’t get mad at you for being upset that his brother tried to sleep with you. On the other hand, this is not worth cutting off ties with his brother. I think that if he did, he’d seriously regret it later in life. So, I don’t think that you should be so taken aback that his brother is still in his life and that they continue to speak. I’m also curious how you mean the brother tried to get you in bed. Just heavy flirtation? Like actually kissing you? Because flirting with someone is not a disownable offense.

Anyway, if you feel worthless, then you should MOA. You can’t make someone care about something they don’t. And continuing to try to make them is just going to make them more frustrated, which is going to make you feel even worse.

Also, I imagine that the reason your boyfriend is not super upset is that he trusts you and doesn’t think his brother has a chance. You phrase it as his brother “trying to take you away from him,” but you’re not property, and no one can take you away without you making it happen.

avatar Taylor January 23, 2013, 10:19 am

Drama!
Seriously though, this –> “But throughout the relationship, his brother has flirted with me on several occasions, even trying to get me in his bed at one point. I have flat-out refused him time and time again” <– is not ok. If brother has propositioned you, and you have clearly said no, and he does it again, and your bf knows this, then he needs to talk to his brother. This isn't about your bf having to pick only one of you in a relationship, it's about the need for clear boundaries. Think about whether this is a family you want to invest more time in though – going after a sibling's love interest just strikes me as icky.

bagge72 bagge72 January 23, 2013, 10:27 am

Ok, so you have been going out for 16 months now, which isn’t a ton of time, but this seems like all of this happened very early on in your relationship, when maybe things weren’t as serious, or when you were having all sorts of other problems with your BF. If he hasn’t done this in a while, why make such a big deal about it now. Your BF already knows about it, and I’m sure this is going to keep his brother from hitting on you in the future. So I say either layoff of your BF, or if it still makes you that uncomfortable MOA, because you clearly aren’t going to break up that family.

avatar Oldie January 23, 2013, 10:32 am

I think you are clinging to a bad relationship to salvage the work you’ve already put in overcoming a lot of difficulties. I agree with the others who say there just shouldn’t be that many difficulties in the first year of a relationship that is going to succeed. If it’s been so tough and you feel he doesn’t stand up for you by telling his brother to back off and keeping his brother away from you, then what is there in the relationship that has you clinging on for dear life and feeling awful about yourself at the same time. Good relationships make you feel better about yourself. They may have difficulties, but they just don’t have tons of difficulties at the start. That is a strong sign that you are ignoring that you and your bf are a mismatch.

avatar Addie Pray January 23, 2013, 10:37 am

Too much information is missing. We don’t even know which brother is the hot one.

I’m kidding. I can’t muster up anything wise these days, so I say go with what others say!

Diablo Diablo January 23, 2013, 10:43 am

It would be a lot easier to advise most LWs if they would only specify who’s hawt and who’s nawt.

katie katie January 23, 2013, 10:49 am

we would have to create some sort of scale for the hawt and nawt-ness though…. like, *you* might think hes hawt, but is he like matthew mcconaughey hawt or joseph gordon-levitt hawt ? you know?

avatar Addie Pray January 23, 2013, 11:00 am

Eww Matthew Mcconaughey is not hot. He looks like he has a lot of sexually transmitted diseases. No offense to people with sexually transmitted disease. Some of my best friends have ‘em. I’m just saying. Also, he seems like an ass, which makes him not hawt.

avatar Addie Pray January 23, 2013, 11:03 am

Who’s that cute guy who played on My Week with Marilyn? I could l kiss his face off!

avatar Painted_lady January 23, 2013, 11:57 am

Eddie Redmayne. Gorgeous voice, too, if you haven’t seen Les Mis (though I wouldn’t recommend it, just YouTube it).

avatar lets_be_honest January 23, 2013, 12:04 pm

In love with him.

avatar Addie Pray January 23, 2013, 12:15 pm

That’s him. He is adorable.

avatar rachel January 23, 2013, 12:22 pm

Wait. Are you saying you wouldn’t recommend Les Mis??

avatar Addie Pray January 23, 2013, 1:34 pm

Have you seen it? I have not. And I really don’t want to. So I welcome everyone to tell me it sucks so I don’t have to see it…

avatar lets_be_honest January 23, 2013, 1:37 pm

I loved it. Sorry.

avatar Painted_lady January 23, 2013, 2:09 pm

It wasn’t my favorite. Hugh Jackman made me crazy vocally, and Russell Crowe looked like he had no desire to be there, though he wasn’t as bad as I thought. I found it too long, and I thought there were a lot of things that work better onstage (I do like the stage version quite a bit). I know there were a lot of people who loved it, and it wasn’t awful…but if you’re not already a massive fan, it’s likely (not definitely, just likely) going to irritate you.

avatar rachel January 23, 2013, 2:39 pm

You’re the first person I’ve known who didn’t love it. I loved it, btw, and I’ve never seen the play, though I was familiar with a lot of the music, and I read the book in high school. I was a bit iffy about Russell Crowe, but I thought Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway were amazing.

avatar painted_lady January 23, 2013, 3:02 pm

I know I probably sound like a complete theatre snob. It’s not like “Ohhhhh, it was awful!!!” There were some AMAZING parts (Anne Hathaway, I love you), it just didn’t pack the same power. And yeah…I only know about three people who didn’t care for Hugh Jackman’s voice (though the acting was solid). It’s so weird because I feel like I saw a different performance than anyone else.

avatar rachel January 23, 2013, 3:07 pm

Haha, I didn’t think you sounded like a theatre snob. Everyone can’t love it. I’d love to see a live performance some time, though.

katie katie January 23, 2013, 11:05 am

ok, fine, the matthew mcconaughey goes on the “nawt” side. im not making the rules, im just sayin we need rules for context purposes… lol

avatar lets_be_honest January 23, 2013, 11:06 am

Also, he has really short arms.

avatar Painted_lady January 23, 2013, 2:14 pm

And he looks smelly. Or maybe that’s just because I read he was.

Diablo Diablo January 23, 2013, 12:59 pm

To give the site gender balance, I’ll arbitrate the Scarlett Johansen vs Maggie Gyllenhaal hotness scale. As to Matthew, my missus simply can’t get past his character in Dazed and Confused, so for her, he will forever be Wooderson.

katie katie January 23, 2013, 1:14 pm

ok, big question: where does eva mendez sit on your scale?

Diablo Diablo January 23, 2013, 1:16 pm

Eva can sit anywhere she likes on any part of my scale. Would that I were the scale…

avatar lets_be_honest January 23, 2013, 1:19 pm

hahaha

katie katie January 23, 2013, 1:21 pm

i knew i liked you.

avatar Addie Pray January 23, 2013, 1:31 pm

haha. if i were a dude, i’d be in love with: diane lane. isn’t she so beautiful? she has the prettiest face ever! you know who i would not love if i were a dude: sarah jessica parker.

Diablo Diablo January 23, 2013, 3:54 pm

As a dude, I agree with both judgments. As an older dude, I used to like young Diane Lane, and always thought she was underrated and deserved a bigger piece of the glamour.

As for SJP, to borrow an old Celine Dion joke, why the long face?

avatar rachel January 23, 2013, 2:43 pm

Yeah, I think Wooderson was the highlight of his career.

avatar Anna January 23, 2013, 11:03 am

What if neither of them is hot? ;)

avatar MISS MJ January 23, 2013, 11:21 am

Then we need to know which one is hotter? Relatively speaking.

avatar Addie Pray January 23, 2013, 11:29 am

And which one makes more money, of course.

katie katie January 23, 2013, 10:47 am

bah so much weird stuff.

1. so many problems in 16 months = bad
2. brother trying to sleep with you = bad
3. you feel worthless = bad
4. “his brother tried to take me away from him multiple times” = good lord, grow up
5. you want to “make” him care = bad.

just bad, all around. yuck.