On Halloween I got pretty drunk and we ended up making out and since then, things have turned a little more serious. We spend a lot of our free time together, we’ve been sleeping together since Thanksgiving, I’ve befriended her friends — we’re basically acting like a couple, even though we aren’t. I’ve been clear as day with her (or so I thought) about how I just wasn’t sure about my feelings towards her. I was more interested in a FWB type situation, repeatedly asking her if she felt comfortable that. And she’s repeatedly told me: “I know what you’re saying and I wouldn’t let it go this far if I wasn’t comfortable with this arrangement.” Lately, though, I’ve been feeling more comfortable with the idea of being her girlfriend. I haven’t exactly told this part to her but I’ve shown it. However, I found something today and I just want to run as far away as possible!
I’m been taking care of her cat while she’s home for the holidays. While at her place, I noticed some drawings sitting out (sitting out! I was NOT snooping through drawers, I swear to god) with the word “marry” on them. Curious, I picked them up and noticed they were addressed to “Dear One,” outlining that she’s in love with this “dear one” and wants to marry her. OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!
I don’t know what to do, or think, or say. If it was a “let’s be exclusive” letter, fine! No problem!!! But MARRY HER??? OH MY GOD!!! I know that we click well and all, but we’re only 21, and the L-word that has never, ever been spoken between us and I’ve never, EVER insinuated such feelings for her. I want a very casual relationship. I want to hang out with her and I want to have fun, and I want to analyze literature, drink beer and watch geeky shows and just be together…in the here and now and see how things develop (slowly!) over time.
She’ll be back in our college town on January 4th. How/when should I approach her about what I found or begin having this conversation? — Casual-Times Lesbian
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