In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
I am writing because sometimes, but not often, when there is a function for the kids and Kelly knows their dad will be there she asks me to stay away. She is cordial with him if she sees him but nothing more. Well, another dinner is coming up for her godson and while the ex is not invited her godson’s family is, including his uncle who happens to still be very close to Kelly’s ex. Her godson’s mother, “Mary,” and I are very close also and the godson even calls me uncle. Mary is also getting married this year and asked me to be in the wedding and asked Kelly to be her Maid of Honor. In spite of this Kelly has asked me not to attend the dinner because of her godson’s uncle and what he might say or do to stir things up. (I have never met this man before, although I have met many other family members including another brother of Mary’s, all of whom have been very nice to me). Kelly is particularly worried about him saying things in front of her own kids. I told her that I am not here to make waves but I am also not here to hide, especially from a friend of the ex. I told her that I did not believe it was fair of her to ask me, especially since his own mother wants me there. Instead of getting in a big fight about it, I told her I would just stay away, but now I am accused of having an attitude about it all. So not only do I have to be uninvited because she is worried, it’s my fault for being bothered by it.
Should I just keep quiet and stay away and chalk it up to “this is what I get” because of the way we started our relationship, or is she wrong for asking me to stay away? I feel hindered about moving forward as I feel she is not sticking by me enough. — Staying away in LA