In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
About four months later, he called me and told me he wasn’t happy with her and he wanted to be with me again and this time he would be faithful. He said all of this to me in front of her so she got angry and put him out and we got back together. The baby was born and she didn’t like me so she told him he could visit with his kids at her house but he couldn’t pick them up and I couldn’t come with him. He did it three times and I told him that if he wanted us to work, he would have to go to court and get court-ordered visits, and he did.
At the time they went to court for visitation, we weren’t married and the judge did allow him the visits but she said that I couldn’t be around the kids and he agreed. At this time in our relationship I had given up and just acted as if nothing bothered me. Then a year later, we got married. Things were going well, he went back to court, showed the judge that instead of me being his girlfriend I was his wife and the judge allowed me to be around the kids. Everything was going great until I learned that my husband had been sneaking around with his ex again before we said ‘I do,’ and she got pregnant with baby number three by my husband.
I became furious and numb at the same time. We are still married till this day and I just don’t care about him. What am I supposed to do? He hasn’t been with her since then the baby was born, but I don’t trust him at all. I don’t want to divorce, but my feelings are just numb. I only allow him to bring the first two children to the house but not the third child. Am I wrong for not allowing him to bring the third baby around me? He visits the baby at his relative’s house but when he goes, he doesn’t take me. What should I do? — Betrayed Wife