In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
My question is, how can I support him? Of course, I am aware that he might break up with me during his grieving period, but in case he visits me, what attitude do you think I should keep? I noticed that he doesn’t want to talk about his mother’s death, so I don’t make any mention of it. Every time I started to ask something relevant he changed the subject and kept on repeating that the worst had already passed (still in denial). I know that it is very difficult to support him since I am not in the same country but I want to, even if this means just talking to me over phone etc. Is there any hope for this relationship? Because from what I ‘ve read on the internet there isn’t. I surely understand that he hasn’t got the energy for me, but I wonder if he ever will have it again?
P.S. I don’t understand the grieving process at all. Although I have lost both my parents, I didn’t grieved for them a single second. I accepted their deaths and kept on with my life. And to me, it is more selfish to think that everything stops the moment you lose your loved one. Tears cannot bring anyone back (I am an atheist, as is my boyfriend). So, this process, as you can see, is totally difficult for me, but I am prepared to wait and show compassion and patience if that is all needed. — Trying to be Supportive
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.