In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
Anyway, she came back about a month ago, after the third breakup that she initiated, telling me that she really wants to make it work this time. She said that she is ready to settle down with me, yada, yada. At first, I insisted on not getting back into the relationship because I knew that I could not handle another breakup with the same person! But, eventually, my heart ate my logic and I fell back into that trap. See, with me, when I’m in a relationship, I’m really all about that person. Like, I want to spend almost every waking moment with them, I want to be their priority, and I am willing to sacrifice for them. Anyway, things seemed like they were actually going to work this time, because we both made the effort to make positive changes and compromises to better the relationship…until a couple days ago…
We got into an altercation where things went majorly sour…for everyone. We fought about her being out too late with her friends and I must admit, I did sort of blow it out of proportion. But it’s not like this is a new issue that surfaced. I always have problems with the people that she hangs out with, and she knows how I normally react when discussing them. Anyway, after that, she comes out telling me that she feels suffocated by me. She said that she wants to be with me in the future, but just not now. I feel like I just fell into the same old crap that she pulled on me the last time she broke up with me. So, now that we’re not together, she doesn’t call/text and she’s back to hanging out with her friends all the time.
I have made a decision to really let go and move on this time. I don’t think I deserve to be continuously treated like this. Do you think that I have made a good decision? And do you have any encouraging words for me in my moments of weakness? And what can I do so that I don’t fall back into her attempt at getting back with me? — Four-Time Dumpee