In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
Part of me thinks “he can do what he wants to his body,” but most of me feels concerned about having a future with him and what future issues can arise from so much drinking.
I must add that one year before I met him, he received a DUI and was court ordered to AA. According to him, however, the meetings were a “waste” and it was “everyone else” in the meeting that had a messed-up life story and not him. When I try to bring up the issue of dependency and alcoholism, he feels that drinking is only a problem “when it interferes with your life.” Since his DUI he has technically “turned it around” – he has a job, is attending college full-time and has a 4.0 (and is a perfectionist in every other aspect in his life).
It’s hard to tell him that I feel his drinking is a problem while there is no behavior I can point to as an issue since we have been together. Is it pulling the trigger too soon to want to leave him if he won’t stop drinking so excessively? Or is it silly for me to “wait and see” if problems show up from his drinking? — Waiting and Seeing
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.