In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
Then after an incident this May I was put into a psychiatric hospital and whilst there I realized that I was still in love with him. So, when I was released, I got back in contact with him and told him how I felt. He said that he felt the same but was ‘trapped’ in a relationship with another girl — that they got together but shortly after she got sick and consequently was financially dependent on him. He says that he doesn’t love her, but he doesn’t want to hurt her either.
We started doing the sort-of-dating thing again. Then he told me that he had finished with her, but obviously they are still living together as she is sick, can’t work and therefore can’t be financially independent. Then he didn’t call me for ages. What he finally did call, he said he hates the fact that he’s either hurting me or hurting her. I don’t really understand what’s going on. He says he loves me and wants to be together but then seems to back-track. I don’t know if this is worth pursuing or if he is just messing me around. It would be worth the wait if I knew that he is doing something, that he wants the same thing and that he is willing to take action to get it. Help? — Tired of Waiting in Vain
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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.