In a feature I call “Your Turn,” in which you, the readers, get to answer the question, I’m presenting the following letter without commentary from me:
This fall, he abruptly ended our relationship for the final time because he met a freshman girl he wanted to date. Within a week of ending our FWB relationship, they were dating. He won’t introduce his girlfriend to any of his friends. He spends a lot of time in his room alone. They eat dinner separately. He won’t talk about her. It’s a pretty bizarre situation –they spend no time together (I am friends with his roommates who are just as perplexed as I am).
Most everyone involved (friends of mine and friends of the girl’s and friends of his) are perturbed and worried about this relationship on her behalf. It’s clear that this freshman is flattered to be noticed and has wanted a boyfriend for some time. She is sweet, naïve, and very very quiet. She’s very much the “more into it” party in the relationship.
My question now is what do I do? Do I tell her what happened and that she should look out? Do I just hope for the best? Do I confront Jay? I feel a lot of responsibility to keep someone out of the nightmare I went through, but I don’t want to seem jealous and controlling. Nor do I want to seem like I am trying to sabotage his relationships out of spite or jealousy. — Worried For The Frosh