Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

14 Things to Tell Yourself on Valentine’s Day if You Hate Valentine’s Day


Let’s be honest — Valentine’s Day kind of sucks for a lot of us. There’s the disappointment of being let down, the pressure to measure up, and all the weight of unmet expectations and the baggage of crappy Valentine’s Day pasts. Plus, this year there aren’t even conversations hearts! But fear not, friends! There is wonder — or at least a coupon for good take-out — still to be had, even if this isn’t your favorite day of the year. Below are 14 things to tell yourself on Valentine’s Day if you hate Valentine’s Day.

1. At least your coworkers won’t surprise you with cake and sing Happy Valentine’s Day to you.

2. Probably.

3.Chocolate will be half off starting tomorrow.

4. Red is SO your color.

5. Won’t be long now and you’ll be enjoying all those sweet, sweet President’s Day sales.

6. Valentine’s Day is just a stupid, fake Hallmark holiday anyway that means absolutely nothing.

7. Except that no one loves you.

8. Just kidding! You are very loved.

9. And you have wonderful cats.

10. Three remaining episodes of Russian Doll to watch later that you haven’t seen yet.

11. And a 10% off coupon from Yelp for the new Thai restaurant in the neighborhood.

12. It’s getting great reviews.

13. I heard the curry balls are excellent.

14. It could be worse – it could be Christmas.

Related: “My Wife Doesn’t Want Sexy Time on Valentine’s Day” and Alphabet: A History (V) Valentine’s Day

16 comments… add one
  • avatar

    JD February 14, 2019, 8:52 am

    Anytime Valentine’s would bug me I would remember that my grandma used to come to our house during the day on V day and place a heart shaped box of chocolates on our pillows. I would rush home excited. It was the sweetest thing and I always remember it so fondly. It helped me to remember that Valentine’s can be about celebrating love with anyone you love, not just being single or in a relationship.

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      golfer.gal February 14, 2019, 10:34 am

      Well that is adorable and so sweet. To this day my mom buys me little gifts for Valentine’s, and I send my nephews cards with stickers, chocolates, and a little cash. I also sent my bestie, who is single this year for the first time in a while, a Galentine’s card and chocolates from our hometown. I think v day is best when it’s about all the love

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    • avatar

      Kate February 14, 2019, 10:39 am

      My mom used to buy us presents on Valentines Day: cozy things or a record album (it was the 80s), and/or treats…

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  • avatar

    Kate February 14, 2019, 8:56 am

    Wait, is Season 3 of Queer Eye out??

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    • avatar

      ktfran February 14, 2019, 9:01 am

      I thought March?!? And they were in my hometown. In fact, JVN is from my hometown!!!! So now you all know where I’m from.

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      • avatar

        Kate February 14, 2019, 9:05 am

        Well, shit. If anyone hasn’t seen Russian Doll on Netflix yet, please watch it, it’s awesome.

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        ktfran February 14, 2019, 9:15 am

        Noted. And March 15th for QE.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy February 14, 2019, 9:40 am

      I don’t really watch TV so I don’t know! Maybe I should change the line to Russian Doll.

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      • avatar

        Kate February 14, 2019, 9:43 am

        Well, not everyone has probably seen both seasons of Queer Eye. But omg, Russian Doll is amazing!

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      • avatar

        Kate February 14, 2019, 9:50 am

        There’s also “You” on Netflix (deliciously creepy), and Temptation Island on USA (I watch it on demand), which is a ridiculous reality show where couples who are “at a crossroads in their relationship” decide it’s a good idea to go to a tropical island and be separated from each other and live in a villa with 12 hot singles to be tempted. Lol.

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      • avatar

        JD February 14, 2019, 9:51 am

        Oh I just watched You about two weeks ago. Super creepy but interesting.

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  • avatar

    LisforLeslie February 14, 2019, 9:15 am

    I prefer Feb 15 or as I like to call it 50% off Chocolate Day.

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  • avatar

    Ale February 14, 2019, 10:17 am

    I have three wonderful cats, thankyouverymuch.

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  • Miel

    Miel February 14, 2019, 11:21 am

    My bus driver was wishing “Happy Valentine’s Day” to every woman getting on the bus this morning. Not the men. Just the women.

    I mean, he’s so nice and such an awesome bus driver, but I was confused. Since when is Valentine’s Day a “woman” thing? I mean… you don’t know me, Mr. Bus Driver. I don’t have a ring on my finger, I could be single AF and you wouldn’t know! But hey, Happy Valentine’s Day to you too! Thank you!

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  • avatar

    Kate February 14, 2019, 11:48 am

    Awww, I was getting cash out of the ATM downstairs from my office, and this lady came out who works there and was all, I haven’t seen you around! Come in and get a cupcake! They had cupcakes and cookies and water on a decorated table for Valentines. I wasn’t PLANNING on eating a red velvet cupcake, but okay.

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  • avatar

    alafair February 14, 2019, 2:59 pm

    I’m really friendly with the receptionist at the office. She was a little down about Valentine’s day yesterday, so I stopped by the grocery store and picked up some happy flowers in a little mason jar on my way to work this am. She was so excited. Happy flowers are the best ones!

    My kids are soo looking forward to candy tomorrow. My youngest son says there’s no point in buying it today when its so much cheaper tomorrow. He wants to have a fire, board game and music night tomorrow so thats what we’re doing.

    I personally dont care about getting Valentines day “stuff”. And I told the AG that. All I want is time with my guy, so we’re planning on a picnic in bed since it’s raining here. I got him a book of poetry in his other language (I’d bought him an album and the same week it arrived he told me all excited about his copy that he’d just gotten…)

    I did buy some new lingerie but that’s for both of us.

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