A reader sent me a link to this article from CNN, “Five texts you should never send,” (1. “I think we should see other people” and 5. “a photo of your junk”). Those are good ones, but in an era when people send and receive an average of 41 texts a day, there are quite a few more kinds of texts that are sent out and shouldn’t be. Keep reading for 15 more texts that you should never send.
1. Are you sure it’s mine?
2. We have bed bugs.
3. I think I just killed somebody.
4. …So, you should probably get tested for that, sorry.
5. Can you come bail me out?
6. Mom, I’m gay.
7. In the dark, she looked like you!
8. I’m running three hours late. Can they hold the table?
9. Your grandmother just died.
10. Is it supposed to itch?
11. I just made out with your ex!
12. It’s an emergency!! (Um, so maybe call, not text?).
13. Is there usually so much blood?
14. Your father and I are getting divorced.
15. I’m not your real mother.
Lydia August 28, 2012, 1:08 pm
“12. It’s an emergency!! (Um, so maybe call, not text?).”
My boyfriend is a teacher and won’t pick up the phone during classes, but is able to check his texts fairly frequently, so even in an emergency I’d probably text him. Even if only to say: “pick up the phone, it’s an emergency!”
cporoski August 28, 2012, 1:26 pm
I agree with this one. Many people screen calls at work but will return it if it is ASAP.
S.B. August 28, 2012, 1:25 pm
I have a similar situation. Often I am in a situation at work where I cannot pick up my personal phone, but I can discreetly check my texts. My friends and family know that if there was a situation necessitating a phone call, they could text me to say ‘call me, it’s an emergency’ and I’d excuse myself to contact them.
Lindsay August 28, 2012, 2:27 pm
Good point. I am more likely to read a text than to pick up my phone at work, or listen to a message. Or generally in any other situation where I’m not answering my phone.
Clare August 28, 2012, 1:10 pm
Ughhhhhh bedbugs are the worst things on the planet! They exist for no reason other than to make life miserable. Ugh.
cporoski August 28, 2012, 1:27 pm
Do you ever wonder where bed bugs lived before there were beds? were they called “pile of hay” bugs?
va-in-ny August 28, 2012, 1:54 pm
I second this. Bedbugs are the absolute WORST.
Alecia August 28, 2012, 1:11 pm
I hate getting texts but I know more people prefer that than actual calling, so I’ve adjusted. But this list is very good because some things you at least need to hear a voice telling you instead of a text response.
mandalee August 28, 2012, 1:15 pm
My mother is notorious for sending emergency text messages and then just not answering. So, I panic and it ends up being something like the dogs got loose, but now everything’s fine two hours later. Great, mom! Thanks for the unnecessary worrying!
Kristen August 28, 2012, 1:38 pm
Isn’t that frustrating? We got a text from my husband’s mom, who lives out of state, a few nights ago while we were sleeping that just said, “Just got out of hospital. Almost bled to death.” And then she never responded when we tried to call her the next day. She eventually got back to us to say that she had an ulcer. Who does that??
mandalee August 28, 2012, 6:39 pm
Oh my god, I would have freaked out if I got that text message! It’s really frustrating. I also live a few states away from my mom, so the phone/texting is really the only communication we have. So, it’s mind blogging how she would send a crazy text message then just disappear.
Othy August 29, 2012, 10:16 am
This is why I am so glad my parents are still in the dark ages and don’t have text messaging.
GatorGirl August 28, 2012, 1:26 pm
My mom texts “hi.” and then never responds when I text her back. Drives me bonkers.
jlyfsh August 28, 2012, 1:36 pm
my mom does something similar, she finally said it meant she wanted me to call her, haha. it’s her way of testing whether or not i can talk. i keep telling her just to call me and if i can’t answer it will just go to voice mail!
GatorGirl August 28, 2012, 1:37 pm
Maybe that is why! Why don’t they just text “call me if you can chat”?!?!?!
jlyfsh August 28, 2012, 1:39 pm
i think that would take too long for my mom to text, haha. she’s not very good at it 😉 hello is much easier!
va-in-ny August 28, 2012, 2:14 pm
My mother used to do this:
Mom: “What are you doing? Can you call me please?”
Me: “I’m in class, I’ll call you after. Is everything okay?”
Mom: “Why are you texting in class?”
Brad August 28, 2012, 6:59 pm
lol love it
Lydia August 28, 2012, 1:58 pm
Mums are just a bit weird like that. My mum always leaves a voicemail with “hey, I just wanted to see how you were doing, but you’re not answering, so, um… bye.” Even though I have told her numerous times that I can see if she’s called me, so there’s really no reason to leave a voicemail unless she has something specific she needs to tell me.
theattack August 28, 2012, 2:06 pm
My mom used to be the worst about that when I was a teenager. Plus I would get in trouble if I didn’t answer right away, so if I was in the bathroom and had to call her back two minutes later, I would come back to a voicemail of her yelling at me about responsibility. To stop all of that, I changed my voicemail message to a two minute long recording of whale noises so that she wouldn’t want to sit through the voicemail message. It worked, and it was awesome.
AKchic_ August 28, 2012, 6:10 pm
The SO’s mom calls him and leaves a message, then calls the house phone, then calls his phone 2x more, then calls the house phone, then calls me (even if I’m at work) to see if I know where he is or what he’s doing, then calls him again. Usually he’s at work and can’t answer his phone, or he’s in the bathroom and didn’t take the phones into the bathroom with him.
Once, to piss her off, he changed his voicemail answering message to a very poor impression of an asian guy names “Hung Long”. She called him 7x in 5 minutes demanding that he change it immediately, what would prospective employers think (he had a job and wasn’t looking for a new job), and then called his dad (they are divorced), his grandparents in CO, and his brother and bugged them to call him to beg him to change his voicemail so he wouldn’t ruin his reputation. His dad and brother called just to see what the hell she was so up-in-arms over and they thought it was funny, especially since they knew he did it to piss her off.
MissDre August 28, 2012, 2:11 pm
My mom still does that. She calls and leaves voicemails that are so long, her message gets cut off. Even though she just keeps saying the same thing over and over again, and is mostly just talking to herself more than me… Drives me NUTS and she still does it even though I tell her that I can see when she has called and doesn’t need to leave a message. But, I recently discovered that you can delete a voicemail without listening to the whole damn thing!
*HmC* August 28, 2012, 3:14 pm
Omg my mom does this. Constantly. I have asked her to stop. She agrees to stop. Then does it again. I think it has to do with the fact that she does not nor has she ever owned a cell phone, thus she 1) does not comprehend caller ID and 2) does not think about me having to call up my voicemail to listen to her nothing message. After all, messages like that on her voicemail only mean that she has to push a button and listen as she takes her shoes off.
*Sigh* I’m just resigned to it at this point. For the rest of my life, my voicemail will be clogged with “honey? oh I guess you’re busy… anyway, love you, give me a call when you get a chance! oh, the dogs are here sitting with me, can you hear them, haha! ramble ramble ramble… ok love you!” At least it’s kind of cute.
Wendy August 28, 2012, 1:32 pm
That’s so strange!
GatorGirl August 28, 2012, 1:34 pm
So is my mother!
I kid, I kid. I wish I knew why she did it though!
kerrycontrary August 28, 2012, 1:40 pm
My friend’s mother, who is in her 50s, sends her the most passive aggressive and cryptic texts I’ve ever seen. Just another reminder that age does not always equal maturity.
Mel August 28, 2012, 1:50 pm
This is me being annoying: I hate with a passion texts that consist solely of “ok”. I loathe them. I know it’s just a way of people letting me know they got my last text, but they seem like such a waste.
They should be something like “Ok. Also, I hate raisins”. That way I know you got my text and I learn something new from you. Everyone wins.
BriarRose August 28, 2012, 4:42 pm
I’m with you 100%! Hate “ok” texts or even worse “no worries”. ARGH!
LM August 28, 2012, 5:20 pm
How about just “K”… or if I’m not as special that day, “k”. These come from my husband and irk the crap out of me. And the one from the sometimes babysitter… “lolz”. Why do teenagers have to put a “z” on everything and misspell things to be “cute”?! Drives me up the wall!
Brad August 28, 2012, 7:02 pm
haha I send both of those! 😛 Sometimes it’s the perfect response.
Flanagan.er August 28, 2012, 8:54 pm
See, I’m the total opposite. I hate it when I set a text with something that isn’t a question, but is important like “we’re all meeting at 5 tomorrow”. It doesn’t really warrant a phone call, but I’d like an “ok” or “sounds good” just so I know you got it.
XanderT August 28, 2012, 1:55 pm
I am just the opposite – of everyone – I guess. I absolutely hate the phone. Lots of times my adult children (who know I hate the phone and live with me) will call me & I will text them back, “What”? Grrrr. Just send me a text!
GatorGirl August 28, 2012, 1:58 pm
I feel the same way with 99.9% of the people I know. Only people I like to talk on the phone to are my mom and fiance.
MissDre August 28, 2012, 2:12 pm
I hate talking on the phone too. I ignore 99% of phone calls.
Lindsay August 28, 2012, 2:31 pm
I hate the phone too. I call my parents and some faraway friends, which is fun, but for everything else, I’d rather text. Anyway I’ve known for less than five years makes me really awkward on the phone. My roommate gets annoyed because my gentleman friend always texts me, but I don’t really care.
*HmC* August 28, 2012, 2:49 pm
On a serious note, I really have a pet peeve about people texting “sorry”. I mean, I really don’t think anything remotely emotional should be communicated via text. I personally prefer texting only for things like directions, running 5 minutes late messages, or short tidbits of info… something just an “love you!” or other nice thinking of you message is nice. But nothing dramatic, rude, sad etc. And not apologies. I mean, I get that people nowadays are accustomed to communicating on their own time, but if you’re apologizing to someone, take two minutes and call. Don’t apologize to me in a text. If I’m actually mad at you, I don’t want to get into it via text. And if it’s no big deal, then I don’t know how to respond. It’s weird. And lazy. You must not be that sorry if you’re only willing to text me “sooooo sorry about that!”.
Ugh I guess I’m becoming an old curmudgeon.
AKchic_ August 28, 2012, 2:05 pm
I am NOT a fan of texting. I mean, if you have time to text me long fucking conversations, you have time to dial me and TALK to me.
I do understand, some people don’t want to give the appearance of bothering me at work, but a text is just as bothersome as my phone ringing at work (actually, my phone is usually on vibrate unless I forget). I still check it. I am insistent that unless it’s important, I really don’t want contact from 8-5 M-F (unless it’s a holiday and I’m off). Still, the SO will text me or call my cell with “hey, we’re down to a gallon and a half of milk, maybe we should go shopping tomorrow” or “the new Doctor Who episode is in 2 weeks” or “X celebrity just died”. It’s like, uh… I don’t fucking call/text you with ridiculous shit while you work, why in the fucking hell are you doing it to me? And he does it at least once a week. I call him out on it and he gets all butthurt that I do it and claims he rarely does it and he’s sorry and then he doesn’t call for a few days, he emails me the piddly shit (which is fine, I can ignore that). But, the next week – BAM, does it again.
Another friend is dealing with a nasty child custody case and is constantly texting me. I keep reminding her to write all of her stuff down and talk to me after 5, but she forgets and texts me as crap comes to mind (she’s ADHD).
Yesterday my phone was going berserk. Texts/calls every 15-20 minutes from people. My grandma was the only one who waited until after 6 to call me.
Trixy Minx August 28, 2012, 10:46 pm
I have my alert settings for texts turned off. That way I am not constantly getting annoying alerts.
Trixy Minx August 28, 2012, 7:01 pm
My mom will text me asking if I work on a certain day. I’ll text her back saying yes or no and she never responds back. Ever.
Anna August 28, 2012, 9:37 pm
7. In the dark, she looked like you!
Any other Californication fans here? That just made me think of that show, when Hank went to the party with Karen and they go off in a little room but he gets lost coming back from the bathroom and accidentally goes in the wrong room and starts giving some other woman oral thinking it’s her.
shanshantastic August 29, 2012, 9:16 am
I remember that episode! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe…so I did both. At once. Rather awkward…Also, I was watching in Canada so that automatically makes it better, right?
juneaugurl2 August 29, 2012, 7:06 am
I once got a text from my friend telling me my paternal grandmother had died. I was shocked, I wasn’t sure how she would know this. I didn’t really know my grandmother and she lived in another state. My “sperm donor” (her son) never bothered to take care of his children so I had no contact with his family either. So my friend texting me this was shocking. I guess a cousin from that side of the family that she was friends with told her to tell me. Right after she texted me, she sent me another one telling me she thought it was a terrible way to do it. I forgave her, she was only doing it as a favor to my cousin. I had told this cousin that since my father had abandoned me, and essentially his family had too ( lived in the same house for 24 yrs and never a phone call, visit nothing), that I wanted nothing to do with them now that I was an adult. They tried to friend me on facebook, but I shut that down. I think the text was the cousins way of making me feel bad, but I hardly knew the lady so I just said “OK”.
PS this is really late at nite so sorry for the grammar!