Since we’re in the middle of Hanukkah and this Sunday is Christmas, chances are a good number of you will be spending the weekend with family. To avoid unnecessary stress, I’ve put together a list of 15 things we should all avoid saying during our family holiday get-togethers. Check it out after the jump.
1. I can’t believe that sweater’s too big for you. You sure don’t look like you take a smaller size!
2. When are you going to get married/have kids/buy a house/settle down?
3. Mass is at six tomorrow morning.
4. I hope you saved the receipt.
5. I sure wish you and your ex never broke up. I liked him so much.
6. You don’t mind sharing a bed with your Aunt Suzy, do you?
7. Your face looks funny.
8. It’s okay that I gave your dog my chocolate Santa, right?
9. You probably don’t need that second helping of mashed potatoes, sweetie.
10. Anyone up for a game of strip poker?
11. I think I broke your toilet.
12. No thanks, Grandma, I’m on a diet.
13. I can’t wait to tell my therapist you said that.
14. Can I borrow $1500?
15. Let’s do this again really soon!
MissDre December 23, 2011, 12:02 pm
My mom is DEFINITELY going to be asking my boyfriend when he’s planning on giving her grandbabies. LoL.
Carolynasaurus December 23, 2011, 12:05 pm
I would love to see the corresponding list: “How to Deflect the Asinine Comments Your Relative Make”.
summerkitten26 December 23, 2011, 12:31 pm
i would “need” to see this list. my family doesn’t even make comments anymore. came home for thanksgiving and my dad put his hand on my stomach and jiggled a little bit, then laughed. yeah, thanks dad. not the best thing to do when i’m all period-bloaty. next time, i’ll bite him. probably shouldn’t do that, either.
bethany December 23, 2011, 1:33 pm
11. I think I broke your toilet. –This is my worst nightmare!!!
silver_dragon_girl December 23, 2011, 1:51 pm
It is my worst nightmare to be the person who breaks someone else’s toilet, too. I would probably climb out the window a la Rachel Green’s wedding before facing anyone after that!
Mel December 23, 2011, 2:00 pm
My ex-roommate used to clog our toilet and mention it casually as she left the apartment to do god knows what.
Taylor December 24, 2011, 10:36 am
Who does that?!
Landygirl December 23, 2011, 2:03 pm
Happy Festivus everyone!!
JK December 23, 2011, 2:08 pm
A festivus for the rest of us!!!!
Morgan December 23, 2011, 3:29 pm
The only thing I plan to say this weekend is “Pass the wine.”
kittyk December 23, 2011, 8:32 pm
I wish my grandma read dear wendy for #2 alone- she’s the worst about this! But its out of love I suppose 🙂
Theenemyofmyenemyisagrilledcheesesandwich December 23, 2011, 10:39 pm
I’ve personally witnessed #5.
Sami December 25, 2011, 9:00 am
Or how about, “I was only trying to wake him up!”, as my mother was slipping a plastic shopping bag over my boyfriend’s head as he dozed in a chair at his first family Christmas Eve….
kali December 26, 2011, 4:44 pm
Sami December 26, 2011, 5:28 pm
Yep. Pretty creepy. I’m surprised he didn’t run from the house.