The Hairpin posted a list the other day called “People You Might Not Want to Have Casual Sex With,” and while it was hilarious, it was by no means exhaustive … although “People with shrapnel in their calf from the Hundred Days’ War and are ghosts” rules out a pretty big number of freaks, to be sure. Still, I can think of a few more characters to add to the list (as I’m sure you can too), so after the jump, 18 more people you might not want to have casual (or any kind of) sex with.
1. People who watch “Rocky Horror Picture Show” each and every Friday night.
2. People who scream in elevators.
3. Anyone who eats glue.
4. People who were in your parents’ wedding.
5. People who have collections of axes hanging on their living room or bedroom wall (kitchen wall is okay).
6. People who don’t give their seats to pregnant ladies, senior citizens, and those carrying babies or pushin’ strollers.
7. Anyone with a rattail.
8. People who like Glenn Beck.
9. People who pronounce it “Illinoise.”
10. Your mom.
11. People who make their sandwiches with the heel of the loaf of bread.
12. People who make your sandwiches with the heel of the loaf of bread.
13. People with really popular blogs and anger issues.
14. Anyone who willing watched that movie “Tooth Fairy” with The Rock.
15. People who leave vague and depressing status updates on Facebook like, “Sometimes it’s just all too much.”
16. People who keep pink tutus on their walls.
17. People who have elbow fetishes. (Weird)
18. That guy who always wears a ski mask every time you see him.