I know some people are all about making mistakes over and over and over because it makes them so relatable or cool or whatever (trust: forgetting to send a thank you note doesn’t make you cool; it makes you a jerk), but I will continue to be a proponent of doing things the easy way — yes, the easy way! Because most of the time avoiding dumb mistakes is much easier than cleaning up the mess a mistake creates. So in that vein, check out these 20 first date mistakes to avoid:
1. Discussing what you discovered when you pre-date Googled each other.
2. Asking for a kiss. (If you have to ask, it ruins the mood. Just go for it; the worst that will happen is you’ll get the hand).
3. Begging for a kiss.
4. Proposing.
5. Checking your phone.
6. Letting the other person pay if you’re the one who did the asking. Going Dutch is not an appropriate first date activity.
7. Quoting your therapist.
8. Showing too many pictures of your cats.
9. Wearing anything you’d wear to the beach if you aren’t going to the beach.
10. Bringing uninvited friends along.
11. Announcing it on Facebook.
12. Suggesting that your date is a “tease.”
13. Admitting that you’re crazy, even in a “joking” way.
14. Giving too many compliments (make three your limit).
15. Interviewing your date for the position of your significant other.
16. Discussing all your dietary quirks. No one cares.
17. Getting too drunk (again, three is a good limit for just about everything, including cocktails).
18. Forgetting to mention you have kids.
19. Talking about sex if you don’t plan on having it on the first date.
20. Name-dropping anyone for the sake of impressing your date.
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ktfran June 28, 2012, 1:12 pm
Lol’d at number 1. Yes, I google stalk. But you’re right. Don’t let them know that. I also think consistenly checking your phone is off putting. I rarely even do that with friends, unless we’re expecting someone else to meet up or figuring out what to do later in the day/evening.
bethany June 28, 2012, 1:44 pm
Totally agree about the phone. Unless you’re waiting for a VERY important call, or you’re waiting for someone to show up/still making plans, the phone shouldn’t be out on the table.
Will.i.am June 28, 2012, 3:02 pm
Right on. I hate phone checking on a date.
Moneypenny June 28, 2012, 4:16 pm
Ugh, I hate the phone check move! Especially when someone calls/texts and they insist on checking the message.
JK June 28, 2012, 1:20 pm
Holy crap. That link. I made it to about #5 (I think) sex for money. Wow.
Fabelle June 28, 2012, 2:49 pm
Ooh, but if you don’t keep scrolling, you’ll miss “Have unprotected sex”!
JK June 28, 2012, 3:19 pm
Seriously? Oh wow.
Liz June 28, 2012, 3:51 pm
Yeah, wow. I read #1 and I was like, ok, that’s cool! But then as I read on, it just got worse and worse. I think the article was tongue-in-cheek, but still- anyone who does too many of these things is just a straight up hot mess, plain and simple.
Roxy84 June 28, 2012, 4:36 pm
The most baffling was “date a nice guy….so you’ll know why not to end up with one”. Although I guess in context of the rest of the article…
Lydia June 29, 2012, 3:37 am
I stopped at “the bass player (ugh)”. But then again, I am marrying a bass player. 😛
MsMisery June 29, 2012, 12:35 pm
I KNOW. I made it to 20-something. Those are totally scary and/or stupid things. I can’t believe people are advocating any of them. Unprotected sex?? YES TOTES A GOOD IDEA.
FFS.
Rouge June 28, 2012, 1:29 pm
I went to a first date with a guy that did asked for a kiss, then begged for one, and after I said no twice, he went to number 19 seriously if I do not feel like kissing you what makes him think I will said yes to something more , while checking his phone twice, and talking about his ex (make that number 21 on the list). Wendy is totally right, after all of those infractions, there is no way to clean the mess. He does not understand why I would not go for a second date afterwards. I wish there was a nice way to give him this list for future references.
Moneypenny June 28, 2012, 4:17 pm
Sounds like a winner!
Christy June 28, 2012, 1:34 pm
I love #15! And I will do #1, depending on circumstances. It’s actually a real point of pride that I never FB stalked my current gf.
Addie Pray June 28, 2012, 2:30 pm
I’m going on an OK Cupid date tonight and I asked him for his full name so I could do a background check. Is there a rule against doing that or doing it so blatantly? Fuck me.
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 2:34 pm
You’re just taking some personal safety! Did you also ask him his height? And how he feels about red wine? I mean the important things in life?
Addie Pray June 28, 2012, 2:36 pm
Specifically I said, “Dan, what’s your last name? I want to do a background check before Thursday night, ha. To be fair, here’s mine, ____.” … Then he didn’t respond for 1 day and I thought, “good thing I asked b/c he’s obviously a psycho killer.” Then he finally responded with his last name and a “don’t believe everything you hear” and a side-ways smily face. He has a very unique last name, making my job very easy. I learned he was a defendant in a lawsuit. In connection with his job. (He’s a police officer.) Hmmm….
All this to say: I won’t mention that on this first date, thanks to this list.
ktfran June 28, 2012, 2:41 pm
I currently have an ok cupid profile, but I haven’t checked in ages. Maybe I need to. Hmm . . .
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 2:45 pm
good thing I asked b/c he’s obviously a psycho killer
<3
Fabelle June 28, 2012, 2:45 pm
Hahaa wow, but if you don’t say anything he’s probably going to be dying wondering if you found out, right?
CatsMeow June 28, 2012, 5:05 pm
I’m pretty sure I admitted to internet stalking my boyfriend on the first date. Maybe it was the next morning (yeah, I broke that rule too – we had sex right away). Anyway, it didn’t deter him. Haha. I’m pretty sure I also showed him pics of my cats.
SweetsAndBeats June 28, 2012, 4:51 pm
My boyfriend (wasn’t my boyfriend at that point) got a little offended when I told him that I did a criminal check on him after he finally let me know his last name (he was just playing a coy game). But then I explained to him that if he expects me to go out on a first date with him, alone, in his car, without always having my finger on my taser, that he has to understand that I am just trying to protect myself. After that, he understood and was fine with it.
So I say, if you’re the type of girl who background checks dudes, be honest about it. Maybe it’ll show an oblivious man just what it’s like to be a female in a culture where rapists often walk free. Maybe it’ll show YOU that he’s a douchebag who thinks he should be blindly handed trust without earning it first (and trust me, he’ll be the type of guy to think he deserves EVERYTHING before earning it – in other words, a brat). You want a guy who will understand and respect such things about you.
Addie Pray June 28, 2012, 11:23 pm
Update about the date: the guy is ODD. totally weird. his behavior is either because he is a serial killer or just a really quirky lovable guy. One of those two extremes. I had a sense he was off from our phone call. And that sense that he was off continued during the date. But he is really cute and I am dying to figure out why he is so odd. He has already revealed that his father was an alcoholic, that he drank in bars with his dad at a young age, that his sister gave up a child for adoption (like yesterday) and that…. various weird things about what he thinks about religion, money, life. … it was fucking intense.
GatorGirl June 28, 2012, 2:48 pm
I would add a #21- Don’t talk about your ex’s on the first day. Good things, bad things, etc etc- just leave them out of it.
Moneypenny June 28, 2012, 4:18 pm
I had a guy bring up his ex when I asked him where he lived. Why? Because he still lived with her. But they were broken up and he was giving her time to find a new place. We went out a few times, then he disappeared. Guess what happened? They got back together!
bittergaymark June 28, 2012, 2:50 pm
Actually, if somebody has a ton of “dietary quirks” (#16) I’d genuinely like to hear about them up front so I can run away real FAST in the opposite direction… High maintenance food freaks give me an instant headache. Major boner shrinker… No Meg Ryans or Ryan Megs for me, thanks.
Lili June 28, 2012, 2:57 pm
HAHAHA, what if he’s some super smokin hot athlete who is on a weight watching phase before his next triathlon? Again, happened on the friend date I mention below.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:06 pm
You’ve dealt with people like this frequently? Weird. I was trying to figure out what CB even meant by that. Like gluten free products? What exactly?
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:16 pm
I will refuse a second date with a man who orders a salad after I order the pasta. Way to make me like the ‘fatty’ bitch!
AND if he talks about ANYTHING gross-like bodily functions, accidents or medical procedures during dinner, I will break MY two drink rule to make him more bearable.
CatsMeow June 28, 2012, 4:35 pm
Shoot. My main conversation topics are poop, farts, and diseased genitals.
bittergaymark June 28, 2012, 3:17 pm
Actually, I have ENOUGH friends with these issues — you know, mysteriously and magically allergic to gluten at age 37 — to know that they would DRIVE ME CRAZY on a daily basis… I can’t stand picky people who take more than a minute to place their order at a restaurant ala Meg Ryan in WHEN HARRY MET SALLY…
JK June 28, 2012, 3:21 pm
I don´t get that. I´m a fussy eater, but there´s always SOMETHING I like enough to order as is. People that try to change things (or ask to go to a different restaurant) must be insufferable.
bittergaymark June 28, 2012, 3:27 pm
Yeah, and then — of course! — even after all that fuss, when the food comes, there is still always something, somehow wrong… You know… “If only there was 1/4 less mayo on this” — or what-have-you. But yeah, it drives me bonkers.
painted_lady June 28, 2012, 9:23 pm
My ex the vegan had phantom meat in half of what he ate. Seriously, he would bite into something and be like, “OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD! MEEEAAAAAAAT!” and then proceed to go to the bathroom to wash his mouth out. It was so embarrassing, especially being raised as a good southern girl where food=love and rejection of food is like the meanest, most rude thing you can do.
Also, if he got digestive issues after eating, it was because it wasn’t vegan. Without fail. Not because of the five bazillion other things that can make your stomach do stupid things. Because the restaurant was lying to him, so we could never eat there again. By the end, there were maybe three places we could eat.
What was I thinking?
bittergaymark June 28, 2012, 9:32 pm
Phantom Meat? Hilarious. That tops my stories… I’m going to use that on stage in an improv scene soon, me thinks.
painted_lady June 28, 2012, 9:51 pm
Thanks! In retrospect it’s pretty hilarious, though at the time it was infuriating and humiliating. But it did allow me to coin phrases like phantom meat.
bittergaymark June 28, 2012, 10:02 pm
I can only imagine… He must have had many other great qualities to put up with that for any length of time…
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:28 pm
I think I’m single because I attach a lot of weight (haha, get the joke folks?!) to him being similar to me foodwise. I automatically rejected a date after he told me he didn’t like onions. Those are the best part of ANY DISH, esp if caramelized. Also, I have a HIGH tolerant for spice and I emasculate (mentally) any man who can’t keep up. I’m sure I just proved BGM’s point…LOL.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:31 pm
I’d like to take this opportunity to share another realization. I don’t think I’m a lesbian. I think I’m really a man who likes women.
With you on the spicy!
painted_lady June 28, 2012, 10:11 pm
I’ve said for years that I’m actually a gay man trapped in a woman’s body.
jlyfsh June 28, 2012, 3:32 pm
i married my husband because he dislikes onions too (ok there were a few other reasons too ;))
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:42 pm
haha see its a good thing I let him go, now he’s free to find his onion despising soul mate!
JK June 28, 2012, 3:34 pm
My husband does complain a bit about how I eat, although since being with him I´ve started eating a lot better. But it´s actually easier for us to order than to decide on a meal at home (unless I end up cooking different foods, like I have to sometimes for the girls).
But I can´t eat spice at all, I think I have over sensitive taste buds or something.
On a similar note, an excoworker once told me (knowing I don´t drink) that one of the reasons she divorced her husband was because she couldn´t share a bottle of wine with him when they went out.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:38 pm
That’s pretty rude, although I didn’t know you don’t drink!
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:40 pm
See for me, I love those non drinkers. DD’s FOR LIFE. Although personally, I’d like to drink with my SO in general, so we can both have silly drunken conversations together. but I think that would come up early on in the dating process, and it wouldn’t even be an issue.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:45 pm
As long as I’m drinking, I don’t care if no one else is. Wow that sounded bad, didn’t it? My SO very, very rarely will have a beer or two and I’ve only seen him drunk once. And that won’t be happening ever again. I’ve thought about it maybe twice that it’d be fun to drink with him, but its a lot more fun to have a DD and someone to tell me when I’ve had too many!
JK June 28, 2012, 3:59 pm
My husband does drink (usually wine/beer with dinner on the weekends, occasionally a whisky before bed) but I´ve only seen him drunk once (thank goodness, he was the most annoying drunk I´ve ever seen).
We have plenty of sober silliness, anyway. 🙂
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 3:47 pm
Ethan (do you guys like how I’m trying to make Ethan a thing?! No one’s caught on yet – but I really hate saying husband) will maybe have 2 beers a month. Tops. I love it. I have a permanent DD.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:53 pm
Get right outta town. Your husband’s name is Ethan?!?! JEALOUS! I once knew a guy named John whose middle name was Ethan. Get it?
Anyway, I hate saying boyfriend, which is why I say SO on here.
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 4:04 pm
No his name’s not Ethan, I just think if I get to pick a fake name it should definitely be Ethan. I feel like I know you guys, and I wouldn’t go around talking about Ethan to my good friends by always calling him my husband, those people are dicks, and from that idea Ethan was born.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 4:11 pm
Great idea! Can I take a poll on SO names?
Lili June 28, 2012, 4:18 pm
I nominate CHUCK. And can we call you Sarah?
kthanxbai!
JK June 28, 2012, 4:21 pm
Ooh, I need a name for my husband too then. hmm.. suggestions?
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 4:36 pm
JK – since you have two girls just think of cute boy names! I toyed around with jack (titanic) so you can have that one if you want! LBH I imagine you with a Justin.
JK June 28, 2012, 4:57 pm
@iwtts can you believe that one of the reasons I was so glad to have girls is because there are really few boys names I like? And the ones I kind of like either don´t go with the surname, or sound too similar to other ones in the family/friends. Yes, I´m a pain like that.
I might just go with George. So I can pretend I´m talking about George Clooney. Who, as we established yesterday, my husband resembles greatly. 😀
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 5:12 pm
I was thinking Peter. Not Pete but Peter. What do you think?
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 7:30 pm
That’s my dads middle name! So I like!
painted_lady June 28, 2012, 9:27 pm
Oh, oh, I need one! Painted Dude gets long. Also loses its charm after a bit (or perhaps I was the only one who found it charming?
JK, your husband is originally from Argentina, right? Can we call him Arturo? I like that name and one of my favorite students ever was Arturo.
JK June 29, 2012, 7:48 am
@PL OK, Arturo it is then! I guess it does have to be a spanish name.:)
Moneypenny June 28, 2012, 4:22 pm
Uh oh, I don’t like onions… they’re ok if they’re chopped up in little bits, but not if they’re all chunky (aka onion-ey). Eep, sorry Lili, hope we can still be friends!
JK June 28, 2012, 4:23 pm
That´s OK Moneypenny, join the onion hater group a bit further down. 🙂
Lili June 28, 2012, 4:25 pm
HAHAH yes we still can! And I hope I remember that and don’t take you to like Seattle’s #1 Onion restaurant 😉
painted_lady June 28, 2012, 9:29 pm
Take me! Take me! I loooooove onions!
CatsMeow June 28, 2012, 4:40 pm
omg I LOVE ONIONS SO MUCH.
CatsMeow June 28, 2012, 4:41 pm
My mom can’t eat them because of her irritable bowels. She takes one bite and runs straight to the toilet! (See? Here I go talking about poop again).
Lili June 28, 2012, 4:54 pm
Thats a bad first date move Cats 😉
SweetsAndBeats June 28, 2012, 4:52 pm
Me too! They’re amazing. I love the smell of caramelizing onions…
call-me-hobo June 28, 2012, 10:40 pm
Good lord- Caramelized onions are the BEST.
bittergaymark June 28, 2012, 5:22 pm
It boggles my mind that some people don’t like onions…. They are like the coolest and most versatile veggie ever… I can’t get enough onions. I put them in everything and love every possible variety of them. Green. Purple. Yellow. White… And it’s a good thing, too. With my ghetto ass diet as of late, onions are keeping me alive as they are always cheap and can add zip to pretty much anything…
Rachel June 28, 2012, 5:25 pm
Yes, I freaking LOVE onions. In all forms. I’m glad my boyfriend does too, because it would be really hard for me to cook without them.
JK June 28, 2012, 5:35 pm
I´ve grown to kind of like the taste (I admit that some things like pasta sauce need onion), the texture bugs me. So when I cook I chop it very finely, and cook it until it´s perfectly soft.
Fabelle June 28, 2012, 8:02 pm
This I read too much of the internet, & your comment immediately made me associate with that link
Fabelle June 28, 2012, 8:03 pm
And honestly, yes I will take onions off my salad sometimes & whatnot. But that rant is too funny.
bethany June 29, 2012, 10:40 am
I don’t mind cooking with onions (except cutting them), but I hate raw onions on a burger or in a salad. Nasty!!!
bethany June 28, 2012, 3:44 pm
The only thing I change at restaurants is ordering things without onions. I’ll ask if the burger/salad/whatever comes with onions, and if so, I request not to have them. I think that’s reasonable though- amiright?
jlyfsh June 28, 2012, 3:47 pm
don’t worry you’re not alone. sometimes servers look at me like i’m crazy especially if the menu doesn’t mention them. but, having my meal be full of onion or leftover onion flavor ruins it for me!
JK June 28, 2012, 4:01 pm
Yay for the onion hate!!!
I only ever used to ask they take them off the burger at McDs, but now I actually eat them (unless the chunks are too big, then I´ll pick them off). But in restaurants I usually order things that shouldn´t have onion, so no need.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:29 pm
A few people in my office are like that…all of sudden allergic. Its annoying, but fun to call them out on it.
I only order like 3 things off any menu, so I’m easy. Plus I’m like the cheapest date ever.
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:48 pm
Now i’m curious what these things are!
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:54 pm
Burger, fried anything, penne ala vodka.
Lili June 28, 2012, 4:00 pm
Did you see the recipe Firestar posted for me (I felt so special btw!) its like a variation on vodka sauce. you should print it and hand it to the SO. I’m on a psuedo health kick right now (even though it seems to include eating enchiladas for lunch) so I can’t make it yet. But you should and tell me all about it. I’m food sadomasichistic like that.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 4:04 pm
I wish I could be healthy. I just can’t though. I’ll try it for you!
Lili June 28, 2012, 4:10 pm
A lot of it was propelled by a friend (coincidentally from the date below) who is a MAJOR health nut. I mean she does regular juice cleanses (like does nothing but drink stuff she juices and eat plain lettuce) and her regular nightly meal is boiled lentils, and a salad with an avocado mashed with like liquid for the dressing. Being around her makes me feel like a fat gluttonous pig for liking things like pasta and cream and butter. Once she told me a tip about using less butter and my response was-Why would I want to use less butter?
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 4:00 pm
Actually, not fried ANYTHING. Only normal things, like french fries or chicken fingers or mozz sticks. Someone forced me to try zucchini sticks. What a wannabe mozz stick!
Lili June 28, 2012, 4:06 pm
Haha I used to like those fried zucchini slices at Carls Jr (my fast food loving days are all prior to my being a hippy dippy Seattleite btw) of course I’d DRENCH them in whatever the house sauce there is–I think its ranch,but it only says house sauce on the packet. Damn, now I kinda want some.
Rachel June 28, 2012, 4:39 pm
Zucchini sticks sound good. I miss the fried green beans at my old local bar that closed.
CatsMeow June 28, 2012, 4:51 pm
FRIED PICKLES! You should eat those.
bittergaymark June 28, 2012, 5:19 pm
Fried pickles seriously RULE all…
Will.i.am June 28, 2012, 5:56 pm
Indeed. We have a bowling alley here that makes dynamite ones!
SweetsAndBeats June 28, 2012, 5:45 pm
They seriously, seriously do! omfg. Seriously. Just ate some last night, actually. There’s a new restaurant next to Casa Video and it’s just amazing.
painted_lady June 28, 2012, 10:15 pm
There’s a restaurant in Houston that makes fried kosher spears battered in bread crumbs instead of flour. They are so good it’s wrong.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:35 pm
Also, I think I would throw myself off a bridge if I had to be gluten free. All I eat are bagels and pasta.
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:39 pm
Not to worry, they make all sorts of unholy GF versions of them as well. Like CORN pasta!? And rice flour bagels. Don’t jump yet!
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:41 pm
Gross. Stupid boyfriend is the cook of the house and keeps forcing whole wheat pasta and bread on me. I refuse to eat it. And then I’m hungry 🙁
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:43 pm
Whole Wheat pasta grosses me out. I’ve only had it once in my life and that was the first time I met a bowl of pasta I didn’t like. Fortify my normal pasta with whatever you want, but dont’ make me eat brown pasta. tahts just wrong.
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 3:57 pm
You would really hate gluten free pasta then. It’s sick. And it gets mushy. Gluten free bread is gross too. Pretty much if it’s not naturally gluten free it’s probably not going to taste good. Like bread was meant to have gluten in it.
Lili June 28, 2012, 4:12 pm
What about the Corn pasta? Its at trader joes–i’ve always wanted to try it and I stalk teh sample station to see if they’re sampling it, but alas no such luck. Oh and they have some sort of brown rice pasta too. Again, I have issues with brown pasta but might be something GF for you to try 🙂
Amybelle June 28, 2012, 4:43 pm
I usually only like regular pasta but a health freak friend served me “Hodgkin mills gluten free brown rice flaxseed pasta” (yes I had to copy/paste that) and it was pretty decent despite having a horrendous name. That whole wheat stuff is foul though.
BettyBoop June 28, 2012, 5:57 pm
Tinkyada rice pasta is freakin amazing! I’m stuck being gluten free and I use it all the time. I’ve actually served it to lots of people and they never noticed a difference. Most GF bread is only good toasted but it will do when you have to have a sandwich.
CatsMeow June 28, 2012, 4:45 pm
I eat whole wheat pasta all the time. I really can’t tell that much of a difference. Gluten-free pasta, on the other hand, is nasty. My friend’s daughter has celiac disease and we ordered some at the Old Spaghetti Factory. Yeah, eew.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:39 pm
Also, also, I hate people who get pizza with either no sauce or no cheese. Hate them.
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 3:46 pm
Do you hate that I hate pizza in general. Even as a kid I would not eat at birthday parties if all they had was pizza. I also don’t like spagetti. Pretty much anything with tomato sauce. I also don’t like guacamole or whipped cream.
Okay fine, I guess I am really annoying.
honeybeenicki June 28, 2012, 3:59 pm
One of my nieces hates pizza. And chocolate. Its a little odd, but I can’t complain because I’m pretty picky (although I can always find something to order off a menu).
GatorGirl June 28, 2012, 4:12 pm
I don’t like chocolate. Or sweets really. Pretty much everyone I’ve ever told that think’s I’m nuts.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 4:15 pm
I tried to convince one of my sisters that she’s the mailman’s kid because she doesn’t like chocolate.
I successfully convinced one that she was born wooden and another that she was born a chicken.
bethany June 28, 2012, 4:23 pm
I dont really like sweets either!! I’d take a pound of bacon over desert any day!
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 4:06 pm
My daughter tried to pull the whole no-sauce-on-my-spaghetti nonsense. Wasn’t happening!
Is it weird I’d rather someone just not eat pizza at all then to remove 1 of the 3 ingredients of it? Hate guac too. Its green. Yuck.
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 4:11 pm
Okay well then we can be friends. I would just go hungry.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 4:13 pm
No, no. I’m Irish, I will provide you with plenty of potatos to eat.
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 4:19 pm
Shut up I’m Irish too!!! My grandma was like straight off the boat!! My aunt went to Ireland and found the church she was baptized in! Fried potatoes is one of my favorite foods!
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 4:24 pm
How did we not know this!? ALL of my grandparents are right off the boat. St. Patrick’s Day is my favorite holiday. I take a week off of work to celebrate properly.
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 3:44 pm
Well I have to eat gluten free. Like 4 years ago I was diagnosed with stomach ulcers without the doctors doing any tests. Well then like 3 years ago I had two aunts and a cousin test positive for celiacs. I am fairly certain I am on the intolerance scale instead of the celiacs scale but I still do everything I can not to eat it. It might be in sauces occasionally but as long as I don’t eat like a bagel I’m fine.
You guys are making me feel really high maintenance and it’s hurting my feelings. I can go and eat anything anywhere though! Like we have never had to skip a certain restaurant because of it. My favorite food is nachos and they’re gluten free. And I have always been a huge meat head so I really didn’t have to change that much. I can still eat rice, potatoes, chips and stuff. And all meats and vegetables. And even last night I had 4 gluten free beers. In Colorado it’s really easy to be gluten free.
Although I do have to admit even I roll my eyes when celebrities (Miley Cyrus) and other people say they’re gluten free to lose weight. It doesn’t make you lose weight at all.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:50 pm
Oh I’m sorry. I thought we were clear about only hating the wanna bes. I feel really bad that you can’t eat potatos.
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 3:52 pm
No I can eat potatos!! And I eat them in all forms. I regularly have wine and french fries for dinner.
Rachel June 28, 2012, 4:40 pm
That sounds like a wonderful dinner.
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:51 pm
Aww, we’re not ragging the people who REALLY have the allergy-just the pretentious ones who claim to because they want attention and special privileges. Also, I felt so health conscious when I bought a bag of yummy corn chips and saw the Gluten free label. Then I was like..wait a min. I doused it in cheese and sour cream anyway.
Oh and gluten free beer sounds amazing. I think I may wanna try some–which ones do you recommend if I like pale beers mostly
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 3:55 pm
Ugh see I like pale beers too – blue moon used to be my FAVORITE! That and shock top. You live in Seattle right? I’m sure they would have some local ones, but I like Samurai and New Planet. New Planet is a local Colorado brewery. They’re rice beers. I think if I had the full range of choices I don’t think they would be my favorite – but when you don’t have beer for a year and a half and then have one it’s like heaven has come back to earth. But I think they’re heavier than like coors light. Which is sad because I love light beers – I can drink more and not get full 🙂
CatsMeow June 28, 2012, 4:47 pm
What about sweets? Like cakes and such? That’s what I would miss the most.
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 4:52 pm
I have just become an ice cream and M&M addict 🙂
CatsMeow June 28, 2012, 5:17 pm
Yum. I’m on an ice cream kick.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 5:30 pm
Peter turned me onto microwaving peanut butter and pouring it onto ice cream. Mmmm
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 7:27 pm
Even better is to melt peanut butter and chocolate chips and pour that over ice cream – it hardens and is amaze balls
JK June 28, 2012, 4:03 pm
Apparently the rice pasta is quite nice. I have a friend who actually has celiac disease (diagnosed at 35), and she loves it.
I always worry about becoming diabetic. I love chocolate so much. And the sugar free stuff is not the same.
LK7889 June 28, 2012, 4:42 pm
Yes, as someone else who has to eat gluten free, the rice pasta is wonderful. I can even sub the Asian rice pasta for use with Italian pasta dishes. Doesn’t taste quite the same but still pretty good.
bethany June 28, 2012, 3:42 pm
I have a cousin who is deathly allergis to dairy proteins… It’s pretty random.
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:46 pm
thats sad. She can never know the goodness that is Greek yogurt 🙁 Maybe if they have a soy version…
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 3:58 pm
What is dairy proteins? Does that just mean she’s allergic to dairy or only certain kinds of diary? Like does that mean she can’t have cheese and sour cream? I would just quit life. I can’t handle a cheese free world.
honeybeenicki June 28, 2012, 4:00 pm
No cheese? No point in living then.
jlyfsh June 28, 2012, 4:02 pm
even my dogs would agree with that!
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 4:09 pm
Right?! First I have to quit smoking, my favorite hobby. Next people want me to cut out carbs and cheese and run around the block? F that. I’d rather have a heart attack. Mature, right?
bethany June 28, 2012, 4:08 pm
I’m not exactly sure what it involves (I only see her once every few years, so I haven’t heard much about it)- I know it’s real though– she carries an epi-pen for emergencies. At my wedding she had to have a talk with the chef the day before to go over in specific detail what she could and could not eat.
I think she can eat Goat and Sheep Cheese, but not cow cheese??
Kristina June 28, 2012, 6:49 pm
I used to be deathly allergic to milk protein–the proteins are casein and whey, which are in a whole lot of non-dairy items, and god, it sucked. Majorly.
cporoski June 28, 2012, 5:04 pm
I totally agree. I am a vegetarian and I needed to know how people felt about that up front. My husband is a steak eating boy but I needed to know that he wouldn’t try and “convert” me back or something.
the_optimist June 28, 2012, 1:50 pm
#1: Yeah I once had a guy I went on one date with text me everything that came up after he plugged in my name. Dude, first of all, I already know what’s going to come up because I’ve Googled myself to see what’s up for when *you* Google me. Second, WHY would you proudly condense everything you found into a text message?!
Lili June 28, 2012, 2:55 pm
#22 Show up in a wrinkled shirt. Happened to a friend of mine recently. I lol’d so hard. Oh silly boys. It sounded a little more sad after she admitted she’d gotten her hair done for the date, and bought a new shirt for the date. Oh and they went dutch. I’d fwd her this, but after th is comment I feel bad.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:08 pm
The only time my clothes are ironed are when I wear them immediately after purchase. BUt I don’t look wrinkly at least.
Going dutch on a first date has got to be the lamest thing ever. If someone suggested it to me, I’d pay the whole bill, leave the same amount as a tip and walk out.
Lili June 28, 2012, 3:12 pm
I don’t own an iron either! Never bothered to buy one after the one my mother gave me broke. I really hope I don’t look wrinkly (if i do, I blame it on the bus!) I think guys in general should know NOT to wear wrinkly t-shirts on dates right?! BUT, he still got lucky anyway. So I guess to each their own.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:15 pm
I somehow have THREE irons ??? I’ll mail you them!
Suzy Homemaker Tip of the Day: get some of that wrinkle release spray. Works amazingly!
iwannatalktosampson June 28, 2012, 3:18 pm
See I don’t have an iron either – but it isn’t a huge issue because the clothes that would get wrinkley (work shirts) I normally let air dry and hang them over a chair so they dry straight. BUT I have a huge problem with leaving non-work clothes in the dryer for two days before putting them away, and by that time they’re all wrinkley and it makes me sad. Not sad enough to do anything about it, but bummed out.
lets_be_honest June 28, 2012, 3:33 pm
I don’t do my own laundry anymore, so I can’t relate. (this is me trying to bragplain, how’d I do?)
Riefer June 28, 2012, 4:38 pm
Best way to get out of ironing – hang the clothes you want to wear that day on the shower rod. Take a hot, steamy shower (my fave)! While you’re showering, if the clothes don’t look like the wrinkles are coming out, wet your hands and lightly pat the clothes with them, then smooth them out. I haven’t ironed anything in years!
*HmC* June 28, 2012, 6:40 pm
A few years ago I had a first date with this very polite-seeming police officer that I met at a bar one night. He arranged a nice dinner at this upscale local spot, so I wear a nice dress and heels. And he shows up wearing a shirt that is a nice black button down except that it says “Arrogant Bastard” on it. I was shocked!
Fortunately, he was a perfectly nice date and we turned out to be good friends to this day. Arrogant Bastard is the name of a local ale (San Diego area) and I just hadn’t heard of it, and he was so used to it that it didn’t occur to him that a date might get the wrong idea! Lol, boys.
rachel June 28, 2012, 6:47 pm
My mind immediately went to the beer, but yeah, still not appropriate.
jlyfsh June 28, 2012, 3:37 pm
i had a date want to talk about sex, favorite positions, etc on our first and only date. it was creepy, probably because i wasn’t even a little bit interested in having sex with him.
*HmC* June 28, 2012, 6:44 pm
*shudder* Yeah I had a first date start asking me, after a few minutes of polite conversation, when my last std test was. It was so insulting, like, yeah dude, I’m just here on display for your approval, so glad I have it, here are my test results let’s go bone RIGHT NOW! What is wrong with people?
SpaceySteph June 28, 2012, 11:59 pm
Re: 17. Getting too drunk
Went on a first date, wound up at a bar afterwards. Suggested Irish Car Bombs. Got wasted. Crashed at his place, in his bed. Threw up in his bathroom the next morning.
Went home, sure I’d never hear from him again. He texted me that night to see if I was feeling better.
I’m marrying the guy in 7 months.
Addie Pray June 29, 2012, 6:42 am
Aw, I really hope someone tells the story of your first date at the wedding!
SpaceySteph June 29, 2012, 1:07 pm
His parents would probably be scandalized. I’m pretty sure they don’t know we sleep in the same bed at all, let alone on the first date.
Everyone in my trashy family would probably find it hilarious.
Addie Pray June 29, 2012, 6:41 am
The date I had last night violated every single one of these rules! Almost every single one of them. I may email him a link to this list…
MsMisery June 29, 2012, 12:37 pm
If anyone ever reads “My Very Worst Date,” then you know “whip it out” should be on this list.