20 Signs You’ve Found “The One”

I get a lot of emails from readers asking how to know when they’ve found “the one.” You may be surprised to learn that it isn’t when you feel like you’ve found your best friend or when you can picture growing old together or when all your friends and family tell you how they’ve never seen you happier. Nope, here are some true signs that your search is over and you’ve really found “the one” this time.

1. His name starts with a J just like your ex, so that tattoo on your back is still totally applicable.
2. He thinks cellulite is “cute.”
3. You’re due for a full physical and he happens to have very good health insurance.
4. Her mother’s a tad annoying but she lives on a different continent…and she doesn’t speak a word of English!
5. He regularly says, “The remote’s all yours” and means it.
6. He spells words out correctly in his texts.
7. She shares your disdain for theme parties and overly sentimental holidays.
8. He orders French fries with all his meals just so you can eat them off his plate.
9. When you go out with your friends, he refrains from calling it “girls’ night out.”
10. You’re nearing 40, dying for biological kids and he’s got killer sperm and a willingness to change diapers.
11. His friends and family are all married so you’ll never have to sit through a boring wedding… until the second round of marriages start.
12. Your salad plates already match his soup bowls.
13. He’s very rich and very old (near death, in fact!).
14. You both want to name your firstborn Joaquin (whether it’s a boy or a girl).
15. She talks nonstop but it doesn’t matter because you’re hard of hearing.
16. You both want to honeymoon in Cooperstown NY, home of the baseball hall of fame.
17. You both prefer speaking in pig latin.
18. You met at Burning Man and everyone at Burning Man is, like, your soulmate.
19. Um, he has a French accent, hello?
20. You always have a great time with him during your conjugal visits.