The National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) predicts that over 1,780,000 students will be graduating (with a Bachelor’s-level degree) in 2012, and since a bulk of that number will be tossing their mortarboard caps in the air this month, now’s the perfect time to let them all know what they should be prepared for. Oh, sweet graduating class of 2012: life has so much in store for you — some of it wonderful and some of it not so wonderful. After the jump, 25 things that are most likely going to happen to you in the not-so-distant future whether you want them to or not (so get ready!).
1. You probably aren’t going to get the first job you interview for. Or the second or third or fourth…
2. It may take years before you find a job you actually like.
3. Hell, it may take years to actually find a full-time job, period.
4. And it will probably have zero to do with what you studied in school.
5. With or without a job, you’re going to have to soon be responsible for covering your own health insurance.
6. It may take several decades to pay off your student loan debt.
7. If you can see your friends once a week, that will be a lot.
8. There will be some friends you’re never going to see again outside of Facebook.
9. 9-5? More like 8-6.
10. No one gives a shit what your GPA was.
11. You think you’ve had a bad hangover? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
12. No, that internship is not going to turn into a full-time job.
13. You may have to move back home with mom and dad.
14. Your heart will break a little every time you plunk down another $85 on a “work shirt” you coulda spent on a new bikini for spring break.
15. What ‘spring break’?
16. Everything — well, almost everything — your parents say is going to start making a lot more sense.
17. Except that part about how they won’t pay your rent anymore.
18. You’re going to start wondering how many calories are in a Margarita.
19. And you’ll soon find out how many Margaritas you can drink in one evening at two for the price of one from 5 until 8 PM and still get to work, bathed and fully clothed, by 8 in the morning.
20. You know how every class you took in college had that one annoying person in it who drove everyone nuts with his boring stories and creepy sexual innuendos? Just wait ’til you’re stuck in an office with him 40-50 hours a week.
21. As a recent college grad, you may be hired not for what you studied in school but for your computer skills and social media expertise (so play those skills up in cover letters and in interviews).
22. Your parents and/or your grandparents are suddenly going to become very interested in where your current relationship is headed.
23. And if you don’t currently have a relationship, get ready to have a good reason why not because you’ll be asked about it at every family gathering.
24. You’re going to long for the days when meeting people was as easy as slipping into a pair of cleanish pajama pants and heading to class.
25. Despite what this list may lead you to believe, for many of you new college grads, the best is yet to come. Really.