The Huffington Post recently ran an article called “35 Things I Wish I Had Done Before Turning 35,” which got me thinking about all the things I was glad I hadn’t done in my youth, especially things I had the opportunity to do or came close to doing. Sure, there are plenty of things I wish I had done — save money, end bad relationships sooner, wear sunscreen more often — but it makes me feel better to think about what went right instead of what went terribly wrong. So here are 30 things I’m glad I didn’t do before I turned 30.
1. A reality TV show.
I did make it to the semi-final auditions for “Big Brother” back in 2000 when I was 24. Thank God that didn’t pan out.
2. Get a tattoo.
Any tattoo I would have gotten in my 20s I’d surely hate now.
3. Get married.
None of the guys I loved or dated before I met Drew were good husband material for me, and I’d either be unhappy or divorced now had I married any of them. (For the record, I met Drew four months shy of my 30th birthday).
4. Have a baby.
I know plenty of people who had babies before 30 and are perfectly happy with their choice to do so. I just don’t believe I would have been one of them.
5. Start a PhD program.
I got accepted to a program and considered it for a hot second, but seeing as my MA was mostly a waste of time and money, I’m glad I shut that idea down.
6. Sleep with a married man.
I can think of at least one married man who pursued me aggressively for over a year. He said his marriage was “open” and even introduced me to his wife several times. That was not a triangle I cared to make.
7. Get botox.
A. I didn’t need it. And B. I probably would have convinced myself I did and that it helped me, and then I’d be hooked and end up with a raging Botox addiction by 35.
8. Move to NYC.
I moved to NYC a few weeks after I turned 31, safely out of my 20s, and for that I’m glad. I mean, have you seen “Girls”?
9. Shave my head.
I had a cousin who needed fast cash so she let some dude she found in the Chicago Reader shave her head for $500. I’m glad I didn’t do that.
10. Get arrested.
It could have happened at several points in my 20s. I’m glad it didn’t.
11. Sleep with that one guy.
You know, that same one you’re glad you didn’t sleep with. You know the one!
12. Follow Dave Matthews.
I don’t mean follow as in go to the shows (I never did). I mean, like, literally follow the guy back to his hotel. I had the opportunity once, and, if I hadn’t had a boyfriend, I probably would have been that girl. You know the one.
13. Walk on a stranger’s back for money.
Along with the guy who paid young women to shave their heads, there was another guy who advertised in the Chicago Reader looking for young women who’d walk on his back for money. I was broke, but no thanks.
14. Pierce my nose.
Question: does piercing your nose leave a forever hole the same way piercing your ears does?
15. Get a third cat.
Because then I’d be the girl with three cats. You know what happens to that girl? A fourth cat, no boyfriend.
16. Slam poetry.
Any poetry I wrote in my 20s was bad enough without sharing it, slam-style, in front of a group of people un-ironically. I mean, talk about cringe.
17. Spend money on cable.
I did have cable briefly, but the boyfriend I lived with paid for it since he was the one who couldn’t live without the Golf Channel (ugh). I got to watch “Sex in the City,” so it wasn’t a bad deal.
18. Drink a lot.
I didn’t start really hitting the sauce until I was 28 and by then my 20s were almost over. Think of the money and calories I saved by being an almost teetotaler all those years.
19. Get back with any ex-boyfriend.
It wasn’t for lack of trying on my part, but thankfully the universe was looking out, you know?
20. Vote for George W.
Not that that would have ever happened or anything, but it still feels good knowing that I am in no way responsible for that whole thang.
21. Drink and drive.
Duh. Drink and karaoke, though — that is a cause I can get behind.
22. Facebook.
It helped that it didn’t even exist until I was 27. I did do Friendster and Myspace though (remember those?) and, oh God, the hours I wasted, the dates I regret…
23. Join one of those seminars like the Landmark Forum.
A friend of mine did and let’s just say shit got weird.
24. Become a yoga devotee.
You know what happens to girls in their 20s who become addicted to yoga? A fourth cat, no boyfriend.
25. Post pictures of myself in my underwear online.
I did, however, post one photo of myself in a bikini on my Flickr page once upon a time. I look at it now, 15 pounds, eight years, and one pregnancy later, and weep.
26. Buy a house.
As if.
27. Start writing professionally on the internet.
I started my own personal blog when I was 27, which could have been disastrous enough (luckily, I was careful about what I shared), but I didn’t start getting paid to write online until I was 30. I was about 32 before anything I wrote gained traction — or went “viral” — and even at 32, my skin was still thin enough that the comments hurt. Four years later, I’ve got a bit more wisdom and experience to (usually) not let the haters get me down.
28. Launch DearWendy.com.
It’s been a lot of work, the learning curve — even for someone who has been blogging since 2004 — was steep, the money is slow to come, and the negative feedback has, at times, been difficult to take. I never would have lasted more than a couple of months had I started this in my 20s.
29. Eat a lot of fast food.
My battle against the bulge is hard enough without an established fast food addiction, although I do love an Egg McMuffin two or three times a year as a tasty hangover cure.
30. Sky dive.
The time I do it on my 80th birthday would be a little less special if I’d already done it in my 20s.
![\"\"](\"https://d5nxst8fruw4z.cloudfront.net/atrk.gif?account=r/y/j1a0Sn00OI\")
theattack April 24, 2013, 2:03 pm
Nose piercings leave holes (or bumps) for some people or nothing for others. I have no marks on my nose from mine. I miss it a lot. Growing up sucks.
Off to finish your list.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 2:08 pm
Mine looks like a freckle, some 10 years later.
paperheart April 24, 2013, 2:56 pm
I have my nose pierced! And I’m kind of struggling about when I’m supposed to take it out forever? I mean, I’m only 22, so it’s acceptable for now, but what about when I’m 25? 30? Can I be a 70 year old grandma with a nose ring? What if I never WANT to take it out?
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 2:58 pm
I’m one of those people that when I became a mom, I stopped wearing certain things. When I hit 30, I stopped even more stuff. Like, I probably will never wear a bikini again, and not because I think I would look awful in it. Don’t be me! I wish I wasn’t like that sometimes.
GatorGirl April 24, 2013, 3:07 pm
This is happening to me. Like I don’t wear strapless clothes anymore. I think my bikini days are numbered unless we’re in like Cancun. I don’t wear shorts anymore even though I live in FL.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:10 pm
Shorts I would still wear, just not booty shorts.
bethany April 24, 2013, 3:13 pm
I just started wearing shorts again, and I’m almost 32! They’re awesome!!
GatorGirl April 24, 2013, 3:18 pm
I can’t find any that are comfortable. It’s either ass checks hanging out or they ride up under my boobs and give me a camel toe but are long enough. If I could find a pair I liked I would consider it.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:28 pm
Have you tried J Crew? They come in many different lengths.
GatorGirl April 24, 2013, 3:38 pm
Yup, they are the one’s that ride up and give me camel toe. The length is awesome though…but they make my vagina hurt haha.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:53 pm
haha, ouch!
seadubs April 25, 2013, 9:04 am
Limited has some that go to your knees. What is that, bermuda shorts? I have a pair in white. Super comfy, and they don’t ride up your ass crack. Blech I hate ass shorts too. Too old for that!
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:34 pm
Shorts, I won’t wear them, no way. … I haven’t worn shorts in 6 or 7 years I’d say! Maybe longer. They look sooooo “American tourist”, know what I mean??
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:35 pm
^ That was a really snotty thing to say. I take it back. Everybody, go wear shorts if you want to, I don’t care.
bethany April 24, 2013, 3:37 pm
I beg to differ. They can look really cute. For example:
kerrycontrary April 24, 2013, 3:39 pm
I love shorts! I have long legs so I embrace shorts. I wear black dressy ones out to bars in the summer. I wear shorts jumpsuits with wedges. Salute your shorts! I wish I could wear them all the time instead of pants.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:43 pm
The link’s not working for me…. but if it’s some model in shorts, ok she would make a snuggie look good. Come on, it’s just so touristy!! For our popularity abroad, we should all strive not to wear shorts – especially khaki shorts – with white tennis when abroad. It should be a movement we start. Stat.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 4:01 pm
No white tennis shoes!!! But I do love shorts. I lived in Phoenix for too long to ever give them up entirely.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:54 pm
Its sick that I think I know that’s a Lands End picture. I have online shopping issues.
gatecrashergirl April 24, 2013, 5:47 pm
I believe that the “american tourist” look comes more from front pleats than the shorts themselves. Find a nice pair with a flat front and you’ve got a winning pair of shorts!
MaterialsGirl April 24, 2013, 3:16 pm
Yeah i got mine pierced at 22 or 23. I’m 27 now and haven’t worn it consistently in 2 years. I force an earring through it on occasion to make sure the hole is still open cause i actually really miss it. For me, it looks like a little freckle. No one other than my dermatologist can see it.(and it would probably close up if I stopped poking it)
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:30 pm
That’s what she said.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:36 pm
1. I always wondered what that big hole was on the side of your nostrile.
2. Point, lbh! That’s always funny. I don’t think I’ll ever not laugh at that one
MaterialsGirl April 24, 2013, 3:44 pm
touche!
SweetPeaG April 25, 2013, 10:01 am
So, can I just brag? I was showing my fiance a picture of a very cute, but very modest bathing suit the other day and asking what he thought of it. He told me it was cute, but he thinks I have a bikini body and need to wear more bikinis.
Bless his heart! I am totally wearing a bikini like crazy this summer. This may possibly be the last summer before I try to get preggers. So, might as well go for it.
theattack April 24, 2013, 3:01 pm
It really depends on what field you’re in. Plus you can still wear it on the weekends if you want.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 3:07 pm
Depending on how you heal. Both my nose and my tongue piercings closed up super fast – with my tongue, I’d had it pierced for a couple of years, and it was fully healed, and one night without the bar in and the hole closed up. Pretty close to the same thing happened with my nose.
theattack April 24, 2013, 3:10 pm
Wow seriously? That’s crazy fast!
Taylor April 24, 2013, 4:09 pm
I know. It sucked. I pierced both my nose and my tongue twice, and the second time they closed up, I just let them go.
MissDre April 24, 2013, 3:24 pm
My tongue ring closed piercing up within 2 or 3 days. I had to take it out cuz it fucked up my teeth, but I really do miss my tongue ring. I loved it. I still have a little dent in my tongue tho.
I also had my eyebrow pierced. I didn’t take it out intentionally, it came out accidentally and I never got a replacement, and it closed in.
MissDre April 24, 2013, 3:24 pm
Ignore my first sentence, that made no sense lol.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:41 pm
My tongue piercing did the same, I hated it though.
katie April 24, 2013, 10:16 pm
the same thing happened with my tongue ring- i think its because of the healing power of the mouth… the mouth supposedly heals faster then any other part of the body, because you know, you gotta eat. i think i had mine out for a night.. i got a headache and took it out, slept, and by the morning it was closed.
i miss it so much. i really do. id totally redo it if it was like, proper.
lemongrass April 24, 2013, 10:31 pm
I had my tongue done for a month and it took years for it to grow over. I was surprised since I heard it could grow over overnight. I have scar tissue under my tongue now.
CatsMeow April 24, 2013, 3:22 pm
Psh, I just got my nose pierced last year. When I was 30. I’m finding that a lot of workplaces accept it now. I kept my lip ring in until I was 24.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:37 pm
I’d get a nose job just to get a nose ring. Always thought they were cute, but I have a big ugly nose.
CatsMeow April 24, 2013, 3:53 pm
I was actually afraid to show up at work with it even though the manual didn’t say it was prohibited and even though I’d seen other co-workers with pierced noses. Turns out, no one cared or really noticed.
pants April 24, 2013, 4:02 pm
I actually know a few people with gigantic cyrano de bergerac-type noses that have them pierced and it looks SO CUTE. Theirs look even more dainty and feminine than mine does.
pants April 24, 2013, 4:34 pm
I just realized that my attempt at literary reference made me sound kind of bitchy…not what I meant! I just meant don’t let it stop it you!
paperheart April 24, 2013, 8:33 pm
I have a big ugly nose, too. I think my nose ring makes my nose look more….feminine? For lack of better word.
MsMisery April 25, 2013, 2:07 pm
A friend of mine got her nose pierced for her 45th birthday. It looks really cute. She usally wears the tiniest piece of jewelry possible, so it just looks like a sparkly fleck. And she works in an office. I’ve always wanted my nose pierced but all the body piercings I ever had (belly-button, tragus, and anti-tragus) gave me keloids. I don’t need that on my face.
Tinywormhole October 20, 2013, 2:27 pm
I got my nose pierced when I was 19, and I’m 32 now and I still have it – and love it. I keep a tiny diamond stud in it and have worn it to job interviews, with clients, and to the office and no one has ever had anything to say about it. Except once a junior colleague told me that she noticed it when she met me and it made her like me instantly.
gatecrashergirl April 24, 2013, 5:44 pm
I say you do whatever feels right for you with your nose ring. My mom rocked her’s clear through her 40’s and you know what? She looked cute because it was just something that made her feel special.
stickelet April 24, 2013, 8:43 pm
I just got my nose pierced for the first time and I’m 30. Leave it in!
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:33 pm
A cute boy in college once told me that i’d look good with a little stud nose ring. …. That’s the only time I seriously considered getting one!!!
Is it hard to pick your nose with a nose ring?
Confession: I picked my nose in my office yesterday, with the door wide open. There was something thrilling about it because SOMEONE COULD HAVE WALKED BY AT ANY SECOND! (Hey, wherever you can get your thrills, right?)
Diablo April 24, 2013, 3:41 pm
I do the same thing with passing gas, but the window of risk is longer because of course, you also need time for your evidence to disperse.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 4:02 pm
It’s not hard, plus you get extra crusty bits around the ring itself you get to remove regularly for a while.
MELH April 24, 2013, 6:32 pm
Mine left a hole when I took it out 3 years ago. It’s mostly closed up but you can still see the mark. I keep telling myself it will go away….but I’m losing hope!
tinywormhole April 24, 2013, 8:45 pm
Nose rings are awesome! I wear just a small diamond in my nostril that I’ve had since age 19 (I’m on the verge of 32 now). I have a professional job but don’t feel the need to take it out because I figure if I’m dressing for the office I look conservative enough. I think most people don’t even notice it.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 2:10 pm
I love this! But the funniest part was the ad shown on my screen at the end of the list…a hot blonde chick in a bikini laying all sexy on a beach. I was about to comment HOLY SHIT WENDY!…and then I realized she was not you, and it was an ad.
Fabelle April 24, 2013, 2:19 pm
Hahaha the same exact thing happened to me!! I was like, “Damnnn, Wend—oh. Advertisement.”
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 2:30 pm
Oh good, it was so funny. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Diablo April 24, 2013, 3:42 pm
How come you guys get the bikini model, and I get baby onesies? Is the internet screwing with me?
CatsMeow April 24, 2013, 3:54 pm
Don’t worry, mine is for vascular access centers. (wtf?)
othy April 24, 2013, 4:11 pm
I get a picture of a running girl, telling me to meet active singles. Guess my internet doesn’t realize I’m happily married? And straight?
LT April 24, 2013, 4:34 pm
Mine’s for a shoe website I visited lately. In short: they’re following us. Get out your tinfoil hat!
LM April 24, 2013, 5:34 pm
I got one for a very intense looking woman for bluefly… it’s like she’s saying “Buy these clothes, damn it! Or I will haunt your dreams…”
Datdamwuf April 24, 2013, 9:40 pm
I have Adblock, so I don’t get those commercials
Wendy April 25, 2013, 6:11 am
The commercials are how I pay for the site.
Sasa April 24, 2013, 2:16 pm
I’m turning 30 in a few months. I’m excited for my 30ies. Looking back, my 20ies seem like a huge trial and error (and in some cases, success – but less of that) process. Finally I feel like I kind of know myself, have my own opinions, and don’t depend on what others think so much anymore. I guess I made one mistake by becoming a yoga devotee – but it hasn’t kept the boyfriends away so far!
Fabelle April 24, 2013, 2:19 pm
Ohh, tattoos. The last time I wanted one was at age 16-17 I think, but I’m so glad I didn’t do it. It would’ve been a tramp stamp.
kerrycontrary April 24, 2013, 2:34 pm
I’m so glad my mom didn’t let me get a tattoo or any weird piercings in my teens (although I think piercings aren’t bad, they aren’t permanent–mostly). I know girls whose mothers took them to get verifiable tramp stamps (butterflies) when they were 15-16.
honeybeenicki April 24, 2013, 2:37 pm
I love tattoos. I got my first one the day I turned 18. I have quite a few and even just got a new one this past Sunday. And my new one is one I wasn’t brave enough to get before. It’s not my biggest and it wasn’t my most painful, but it is one that many people (quite a few younger than me?) have always told me I’ll regret. But when I went over to my mom’s and showed her and she first said “why?” and then said “that’s probably your coolest one yet,” I knew it’d be ok.
theattack April 24, 2013, 2:41 pm
I want to know what it is!
honeybeenicki April 24, 2013, 2:52 pm
If I could remember how to change my little icon picture thingy, I’d put a picture of it up. But I’m kinda slow these days. Essentially it is a zipper on the back of my leg opening up to the pit of hell (thank goodness for an amazingly talented artist who got some really cool detail in there) with a demon starting to come out (again, super thankful for my artist because I threw 4 pictures of demons and told him to mix and match).
Taylor April 24, 2013, 3:08 pm
Now I really want to see a picture!
rachel April 25, 2013, 12:55 am
I’d love to see a picture! Should I be driving to Madison for my next tattoo?
MissDre April 24, 2013, 2:43 pm
I got my first tattoo at 19. I thought about it for over a year, and I told myself that if I still wanted it in one year I’d do it. Well I stuck to my own bargain, got the tattoo, and I thought I’d love it forever because it had a lot of personal meaning. Well 7 years later it honestly means nothing to me. I don’t hate it, it’s not big or ugly, it just no longer has any significance. It probably helps that it’s small and not very noticeable.
My second tattoo I got 3 years ago and I still love it.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:01 pm
What was the first one? How did it lose significance?
MissDre April 24, 2013, 3:30 pm
It says Amir in Arabic, which means Prince. Its just a little Arabic script on the inside of my wrist. Prince was the main character of a book I wrote when I was 18. I put my heart into that story. But I’ve just changed so much since then, just completely moved on from the theme of that story and pretty much forgotten Prince.
My second tattoo is also in Arabic by coincidence. It says Maktub, which means It Is Written (pretty much that everything happens for a reason).
Buzzelbee April 24, 2013, 4:09 pm
I had exactly the same deal with myself. I got mine at 19 after wanting it for a year. I’m lucky in that I still love mine, 11 years later. My mother’s Welsh and I got the dragon off the flag of Wales. Big, bold, red tattoo.
I thnk this is brilliant because even if you don’t love it anymore it probably avoids some terrible decisions.
MissDre April 24, 2013, 4:32 pm
I have a friend who just walks into tattoo parlors and picks shit off the wall.
MissDre April 24, 2013, 4:33 pm
And by shit I mean she’ll choose a random design from the posters they have up on the wall.
Buzzelbee April 24, 2013, 4:42 pm
Oh no! Flash tattoos are NEVER a good idea!
bethany April 24, 2013, 3:15 pm
I got my last tattoo at 22 or 23. I’ve wanted another one (a very large one) for a very long time, but I know my husband would hate it, so I’m not going to get it 🙁
However, when my cat dies I’m getting his paw print in white on my ribs under my heart. And I don’t care what he thinks about it.
BreezyAM April 25, 2013, 4:57 pm
FTR my husband always says he hates tattoos and always says “OH NO!” whenever I plan to get a new one and scoffs and pouts…
and then I get it and he’s all “WOW that’s AWESOME!” So I ignore him now 😀 His first reaction to ANYTHING is ALWAYS no and especially to anything involving change, especially involving ME changing. So I just smile and nod, he’ll get over it.
katie April 24, 2013, 10:17 pm
i have a pretty large tattoo i got when i was 19, and i will always and forever love it. it means the world to me.
kerrycontrary April 24, 2013, 2:33 pm
I wish the writer from the Huffington Post HAD done more of the stuff she listed. Like I’ve done most of that stuff (not to sound like a braggy asshole). I feel sad for her. And I hate when people feel like “it’s too late”. Yes, it may be too late for her to wear a leather mini skirt, but it’s like she think it’s “too late” for her to embark on all these adventures and new experiences. And it’s not!
And Wendy, I can’t believe you were almost on Big Brother! That’s nuts!
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 2:34 pm
Ok, so I did get a tattoo at 17, and at 25. 17 was to match my boyfriend’s at the time. We actually are still best of friends so I don’t regret it, even though it doesn’t match exactly because they fucked up. Its now just a funny story. And you can’t see it unless I’m topless.
The one I got at 25 are the initials of someone, which I also don’t regret, but someone quickly pointed out that instead of the initials, it looks like it says fuck. And to be honest, it does. Oh well. No more tattoos for me!
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 2:37 pm
Also, the baby one. Of course I don’t regret having my kid even in the slightest bit, but sometimes I do imagine what my life would’ve been. I was set to study abroad when I fell pregnant by the manslag. There’s also a good chance I’d have ended up in jail or worse though, so I’m counting my blessings!
Taylor April 24, 2013, 2:42 pm
Manslag! My new favorite DW word.
MissDre April 24, 2013, 2:44 pm
LoL
csp April 24, 2013, 3:12 pm
amazing:)
bethany April 24, 2013, 3:16 pm
hahaha. fell pregnant by the manslag. Nice.
We’re going to need to speak in DWisms at the picnic.
honeybeenicki April 24, 2013, 2:39 pm
So, when do we get to see the topless photo of said tattoo? 😉 I don’t have anyone’s names or initals on me. I do have a pair of pandas on my leg that say “My Mother, My Friend” and I have the zodiac signs of myself and my stepkids and my husband (which could be argued away as for my sister instead) on my other leg. I’m very anti-names/initials/etc because you never know what could happen. I do have a Dale Earnhardt “3” though… maybe that counts?
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 2:42 pm
I agree. It was so stupid to even get a matching one, but I lucked out in that we’re still close. The initials are of someone I would never not want around, not like a boyfriend or anything.
The “fuck” one is on one limb and I always joke I’m going to get “you” on the other.
Christy April 24, 2013, 2:43 pm
My sister got one tattoo at 17 and one at 18. The first was a crab that was the logo of her drum corps. We’re from Baltimore so just the image of the crab will be appropriate forever. The second was an eighth note, and she’s super into music so that’ll be good for a while too.
CatsMeow April 24, 2013, 3:56 pm
When I was 19 I got a tattoo on my butt. I hated it almost immediately. I got another one when I was 24, though, and I still love it.
Moneypenny April 24, 2013, 2:36 pm
I’m curious about anyone’s opinions of the Landmark Forum. I know a number of people who have done it or are actively involved in it, and they all love it and continue to take their workshops. I’ve also heard really negative things as well, notably an article on xojane awhile back about someone’s experience (coincidentally, in the same area I live in). I personally have no interest in it, but clearly people have had bad experiences which makes me wonder if the people I know are totally delusional??
theattack April 24, 2013, 2:37 pm
What is the Landmark Forum?
Moneypenny April 24, 2013, 2:46 pm
Wendy mentions it in #23.
Landmark Education (LE) is a limited liability company that offers educational programs in personal development. The company hosts courses in approximately 115 locations across more than 20 countries. (According to wikipedia.)
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:02 pm
I read the xojane article too. It sounds a lot like a cult, and sounds like it costs its members a small fortune.
Moneypenny April 24, 2013, 4:25 pm
Yes! It is so expensive! I can’t even begin to justify that kind of expense!
Taylor April 24, 2013, 2:41 pm
I got my tattoo when I was 18, and I still love it. However, 16 years later, I still hide it from my mom =)
MissDre April 24, 2013, 2:46 pm
My mom cried when I got my first tattoo. I told her over the phone and she started crying and in her despair whispered “I thought I’d been a better mother than that” as she hung up on me.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:03 pm
Oh jeez! Ouch. I had long thought my mom had seen mine, and was at the beach (with a toddler!) when she finally did and she freaked out.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 3:12 pm
Oof. That’s pretty much what happened when I showed my mom my tongue piercing, she cried all day. Mom is friends with the parents of my good friends, and apparently they comforted her with “at least it isn’t a tattoo”. It’s not that I think it’s a big deal, I just don’t want to deal with an utterly bereft mom again.
MaterialsGirl April 24, 2013, 3:20 pm
my mother followed me into the bathroom on christmas break home from freshman year of college to “inspect” me and see if i got any tattoos. I hadn’t but it was really messed up
Taylor April 24, 2013, 3:38 pm
That is messed up! Gotta love the crazy mother club =)
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:44 pm
I got my tongue done on my 18th birthday, basically just to shove it in my mom’s face that I could do WHATEVER I WANTED BECAUSE I”M AN ADULT!!!! I woke up her at like midnight just to show her. And then I realized I couldn’t eat birthday cake…
GatorGirl April 24, 2013, 3:46 pm
I got my nipple peirced for my 18th birthday 😉 to this day my mom still wants to know what the charge from the tatoo parlor is and I won’t tell her. I took it out a year or so later.
MissDre April 24, 2013, 3:46 pm
I couldn’t talk for a week.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:53 pm
Me neither, nor could I sleep because I was scared I’d choke on it. My dad took me to this very fancy restaurant in NYC for a birthday dinner and couldn’t eat a damn thing. I hated every aspect of it and took it out as soon as they said I could.
katie April 24, 2013, 10:22 pm
thats so weird! mine was like nothing had happened… i ate pizza, that night, like, 3 hours after i did it. lol
the only “bad” part was the swelling, that was uncomfortable, and then accidentally biting it a few times while i re-learned to eat, and then re-learning to say a few sounds. overall it went so smoothly though….
Taylor April 24, 2013, 3:52 pm
Sad face! I remember my hungover, recently pierced friends sucking chili through a straw the next day =)
othy April 24, 2013, 4:18 pm
My mom freaked out when I pierced my ears when I was 24. Ugh.
applescruffs April 24, 2013, 9:29 pm
When I got my tattoo at 19, my dad said “…but you don’t even have your ear pierced!” Which is true. But they don’t actually check for that when they tattoo you.
MELH April 24, 2013, 6:38 pm
I got busted with mine after like a week. And then my mom told my grandma thinking she would give me crap, but she was just excited a got a Celtic knot (since I am part Irish and used to Irish dance) and she said that she was happy I was representing the Irish background of our family.
Fabelle April 24, 2013, 3:47 pm
I remember my one friend got an effing NOSE piercing & managed to hide it from her parents (one tactic she used was walking by them while drinking out of a glass. That is dedication.)
Taylor April 24, 2013, 3:59 pm
Damn.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 4:05 pm
How did she do that? Seriously, her parents never looked her full in the face?
Fabelle April 24, 2013, 4:23 pm
Haha, I don’t know! I wondered the same thing at the time, but she was just like “Oh, I just always turn my face to the side and [the aforementioned cup trick].” She only kept it in for maybe a year…but still. That’s 365 days! I could never, I would forget after a while that I was hiding something.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 4:30 pm
I am seriously impressed. I’m going to share that story the next time piercings come up in conversation.
Fabelle April 24, 2013, 4:26 pm
(But I was also the girl who would lie to her mom, & then two days later start telling her a story about, “Oh, when I was with Jen at _______place….” & she’d be like, “What? When were you there?? Did you lie to me??” Oops.)
MELH April 24, 2013, 6:39 pm
I tried to hide my nose piercing with a band aid. For some reason I thought that was a clever solution at the time…
LM April 24, 2013, 5:39 pm
I got my one and only tattoo when I was 18. My mom didn’t find out about it until I was 22 or so. She looked like she was almost about to cry or faint or something and then said, “Don’t get any more.” She checks back every now and again to see if I still only have one (and I’ve gotten no more), but still…
katie April 24, 2013, 10:24 pm
ill never forget my mom, she went “OMG ITS SO BIG!!” when she saw my tattoo. it was hilarious. and its not even really *that* big. she wasnt, like 100% on board, but she was ok with it, but then when she saw it. lol. i guess she thought i was getting a tiny one? i dunno.
mandalee April 24, 2013, 2:42 pm
Love the list Wendy! I also haven’t gotten a tattoo yet even though I’ve wanted one forever. I decided after my first kid I’ll get one, because I won’t have to wonder how it will look post-baby or if I’ll regret it “when I’m a mom” lol
I used to be one of those people that always thought I’d be done having babies by the time I was 30, and now a few months away from 27, I have no desire to even consider children any time before 30. I have too much traveling, sleeping in, and school/career to get through, and I think I’d make a terrible parent at the moment even though I love children. I’m just not there yet.
MissDre April 24, 2013, 2:48 pm
#11…. Yes, I am SO GLAD I didn’t sleep with THAT guy.
csp April 24, 2013, 3:10 pm
is it wierd that I am glad that i DID sleep with him?
GatorGirl April 24, 2013, 3:26 pm
I’m glad I did too. BIG lesson learned.
MissDre April 24, 2013, 3:35 pm
Oh, there are definitely a few guys I’m glad I did sleep with. I have one pretty crazy story that I was embarrassed about back then but now I think it’s a great adventure. But this one guy I’m talking about… I just can’t believe have crazy I acted over him. So I’m glad I didn’t sleep with him cuz I likely would have acted even crazier. Not for lack of trying…. I pretty much threw myself at him constantly.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 3:54 pm
Yep. I don’t miss that part of my brain that used to tell me: “really, he doesn’t know how much you like him, CLEARLY the issue is that you haven’t thrown yourself at him hard enough”.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:58 pm
Haha!
CatsMeow April 24, 2013, 2:54 pm
Well, damn. I got my 3rd cat before I was 30. Wendyyyy, is this why I’m boyfriendless?
j2 April 24, 2013, 2:55 pm
Smoke.
GatorGirl April 24, 2013, 3:06 pm
I went to a DMB concert once. It sucked.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:10 pm
Lies!
bethany April 24, 2013, 3:17 pm
Hush, GG! I’ve been to probably upwards of 25 🙂
GatorGirl April 24, 2013, 3:20 pm
Maybe it as the fact I was the only sober person there?
bethany April 24, 2013, 3:27 pm
Were you in the lawn? I REFUSE to sit in the lawn. I’d rather not go. The lawn is full of drunk 19 year olds who don’t care about the music. I sit up front with the old people who’ve liked Dave since the early 90’s, who don’t throw up on you.
GatorGirl April 24, 2013, 3:37 pm
Yes, on the lawn in Camden…the Tweeter Center or what ever they call it now. With my asshole college boyfriend. It sucked. And I think he did barf, possibly on me. I was also under 21 and the DD for the day. So yeah, maybe it isn’t DMB…maybe it was that year of my life that sucked.
othy April 24, 2013, 4:20 pm
I hated being the only one under 21 and therefore DD. Really peppered my perception of my 20th year, when all of my friends were old enough.
MaterialsGirl April 24, 2013, 3:21 pm
Also, I want to point out that Egg McMuffins are pretty much the healthiest breakfast you can get from a fast food joint so DON”T FEEL BAD! i love them sooo sooo much
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:32 pm
MG I’ve missed you, where have you been? Hike Lake Geneva soon?
MaterialsGirl April 24, 2013, 3:45 pm
I MISS YOU TOOOOOOO. I’LL DO ANYTHING! madmen sunday?
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:48 pm
Yes! I’ll make you a vegan meal. Ok, done, I’ll invite others and make it a party. Chez moi, Sunday.
MaterialsGirl April 24, 2013, 4:13 pm
wait a second.. what is this vegan business? have you not remembered your first loves: bacon and cheese?
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 4:23 pm
a) my first loves were cheese and more cheese, never bacon.
b) hellooooo, i’ve been a strict vegan since Apr. 5 (but who’s counting).
c) it’s like you don’t know me anymore. i’ve also lost about 8 pounds.
MaterialsGirl April 24, 2013, 5:13 pm
congrats! (on the losing of weight, not on the veganism.. i cannot condone that).
I can bring treats too, but do they need to be strictly vegan? i can try…
have you been Bikram-ing? i haven’t been able to do yoga because i sliced my pinky with a new knife. Boo
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 5:17 pm
oh god no bring whatever you’d like! i’ll invite L, T, S, and S. they’ll be so excited to see you.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 5:18 pm
p.s. we can move this discussion to email, haha.
csp April 24, 2013, 3:24 pm
So, I am in my 30s and in a respectable job. Alot of these “mistakes” are great memories and keep me in touch with the person I was. When I was 18 and 19 I got tattoos, one of them a “best friend” tatoo and another I got at a fraternity fundraiser. awesome. I liked all the mistakes I made and the guys I slept with. I like that crazy girl and I think not doing some of those crazy things makes people mid life crisis later on.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:50 pm
I also thing those things will benefit you greatly if you ever become a parent, or have much younger siblings. My mom will frequently freak out over something my college aged cousin posts on facebook, and we always have to remind her that we did the same, if not worse, and we turned out A ok.
csp April 24, 2013, 3:56 pm
I totally agree. Sometimes I wonder how I made it out of my early 20s alive but I had so much fun.
Fabelle April 24, 2013, 3:52 pm
That was always my point-of-view, too. I don’t have any regrettable tattoos, but I have a shit ton of other not-so-smart/kinda-wild-and-reckless-but-(mostly)-fun experiences under my belt & I feel like they make me who I am.
Some things I ~definitely~ regret, though 😐 But they were on the Completely Inarguably Stupid side of things.
bethany April 24, 2013, 3:29 pm
I’m glad I didn’t move to Michigan. I almost did for a boy in my early 20’s… And man, that would have sucked.
L April 24, 2013, 6:01 pm
I’m actually glad I DID move for a boy. I’ve learned SO MUCH from my breakup with him and if I hadn’t moved for him, I would have always wondered “what if?” I’ve grown up so much because of it.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:30 pm
Great list, Wendy — and they are all *almost* true for me too. Only three on your list I did do before 30: (1) join Facebook (I’m a (proud?) member since 2004 wayyy back when it first launched and you had to have a college email to sign up); (2) buy a house (I bought a house when I was 27, with regret; sold it at 29, then didn’t buy again until 33!); and (3) pay for cable (which I also regret, because I worked so hard as a newby lawyer that I had zero time for TV). The rest? All true for me too! Though, I didn’t have the opportunity to follow Dave Matthews or be on a reality TV show.
Copa April 24, 2013, 4:00 pm
I felt so special joining Facebook in ’04 because I was still in high school but already had a valid .edu account — because that was back when only a select handful of schools were awesome enough to be part of “thefacebook,” which was what it was calledback then. Haha.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 4:11 pm
yes, thefacebook. i called it that too – well beyond it changed to just “facebook.” i was lucky to be back in school then, for law school, so i had an edu account. most of my friends were already working so they couldn’t have an acct, suckas. i remember when i had 20 friends on FB and I thought “hot damn that’s a lot!” i was also on friendster and myspace too. and i feel like there as another one similar to friendster…. maybe it was friendster i’m thinking of…. help, was there another one??
Copa April 24, 2013, 4:33 pm
The evolution of Facebook: http://web.appstorm.net/general/app-news/the-evolution-of-the-facebook-profile/
I feel old because I can remember way back to the first version. Haha.
Diablo April 24, 2013, 3:36 pm
Re: #28: Negative feedback is always louder than positive. Surely the positive is fairly loud, no?
Re: #29: Egg McMuffin – gaaak! I know taste is not to be disputed, but I thought Golden Arches was bad BEFORE I saw Super-size Me.
Personally, I’m glad I never had a steady paycheck before I was thirty. The hard times have made me more frugal, and helped me to live by my previously involuntary credo of non-materialism. Ah, the romance of youthful poverty!
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:50 pm
Could we all shut the fuck up on the McD’s hate? Come on people!
Fabelle April 24, 2013, 4:01 pm
I never go there, but I definitely understand the hangover craving for a fast food egg sandwich. My go-to is Dunkin’ Donuts, though. There is some terrible part of my brain that LOVES that fake microwave egg patty thing.
katie April 24, 2013, 10:28 pm
i didnt taste a mcd’s hamburger until i was about 18… trust me, its dog food. no matter what anyone says.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 3:57 pm
I watched Clerks 2, and they had a scene in it with the extruded egg product, and the egg slices have freaked me out since then. Which is sad, bc I love a good fastfood breakfast sandwich.
Holly April 24, 2013, 3:40 pm
I shaved my head once when I was 16, just for fun. Never again. I looked AWFUL.
(I did, however, find out I have a giant freckle/mole on my scalp – like, thumbnail size. The more you know?)
bittergaymark April 24, 2013, 3:50 pm
This sort of list ONLY works if you are vaguely satisfied with your life…
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:53 pm
Come on, even you can come up with a list of 30 things you’re glad you didn’t do. Let’s all help mark.
1.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 3:54 pm
Come on I need help. I have no idea what Mark didn’t do in his 30s.
Aren’t you glad you didn’t go to law school?
Though law school was pretty fun.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 3:56 pm
How ’bout 1. miss out on DW!
Cuz you’d be sad not commenting on the trainwrecks, yes? Also, I’m assuming you were in your 20s when you started reading DW. If not, this is moo.
bittergaymark April 24, 2013, 3:58 pm
Looking back I was too damn fucking nice all through my thirties… NEWSFLASH, be a fucking bitch right out of the gate. Trust me, it pays better and you won’t find yourself so fucking constantly used both personally and professionally. Being nice is the worst career move. Ever.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 4:12 pm
don’t take this the wrong way but i really can’t picture you being *that* nice.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 4:13 pm
^ god i’ve been a little snot all day long.
maybe by “nice” you mean naive? being nice pays VERY WELL! being naive? not so much.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 4:53 pm
Yep. Huge difference between nice and naive.
Bittergaymark April 24, 2013, 4:52 pm
No. Being nice pays terribly. I have done so many favors both personally and professionally… And very few have paid off. My entire production design career has me doing charity case gigs of friends shitty vanity projects… All of which fucking sucked. I am constantly doing the work of eight for the pay of half a person. Looking back, I should have told everybody to go fuck thrmself. I would have wasted far less time… Years of my life was wasted helping users with they’re fucking shit.
Don’t do it. Favors are NEVER returned in the modern era. And always a collosal waste of time…
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 4:55 pm
See, there’s the difference though.
Its naive to take on projects for no pay that are crap jobs thinking someone will repay you for your charity work. Just being nice and having a nice personality, while doing work that pays well is the way to go.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 5:08 pm
yup, i was going to say – clearly mark did all that hoping for something in return. that’s called being naive, not nice.
call-me-hobo October 20, 2013, 4:38 pm
Things Mark is glad he didn’t do in his thirties?
Women.
bethany April 24, 2013, 3:56 pm
Marry a woman?
jottino April 24, 2013, 3:55 pm
I just turned 30 yesterday, so I’m glad you posted this today — with a few exceptions on your list (Facebook, drinking) I feel really good about my life decisions thus far. Lol.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 3:59 pm
Happy birthday!
jottino April 24, 2013, 7:05 pm
Aww thank you! 🙂
Sue Jones April 24, 2013, 4:52 pm
I slept with THAT guy, joined a cult, and skydived in my 20’s… good thing there wasn’t Facebook then…that’s all I gotta say…
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 5:07 pm
Tell me about the cult, spill it!!!
Sue Jones April 24, 2013, 5:32 pm
I went to India in my 20’s. A few stragglers here in the US who were in it when it was a really intense scene. To my credit I wasn’t in it when it was in the US, but in India, there was an ashram where people were fairly open sexually. Well, imagine 1000 gorgeous single men and women from ALL OVER THE WORLD in their 20’s and 30’s all meditating and doing yoga and against being in a monogamous relationship- what do YOU think would happen??? The guru actually died while I was there in India at the ashram. That was crazy! But at least that solved the problem of having a guru telling me what to do all the time (though people tried anyway…) So I was in it when it was “cult-lite” rather than “cult-intense”. A psychotherapist who was in the cult got me into it… she thought meditating would help me. And it did, but there was a lot of weird that went along with it… and the fact that I did want to be in a monogamous relationship that put me off of it eventually.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 5:35 pm
ok, i’m listening. you have my full attention. go on. ….
Sue Jones April 24, 2013, 5:48 pm
Nope, I’ve already said too much… 😉
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 5:52 pm
and then? come one! i just confessed above that i picked my nose in my office with the door open! i really just let my pointer finger hang out up in there. ok, now spill it!
Sue Jones April 25, 2013, 12:51 pm
OK, so I probably had, during those years, a lover from every continent of the world (not that I was keeping score)… it was fun, they found me attractive, more than American men found me attractive, so it was great to be young and single then… Now I am a middle aged working mom and my life is fairly routine, but back in the day…
lemongrass April 24, 2013, 4:55 pm
Is it weird that I don’t regret anything I’ve done in my 20’s so far? I’m only 4 years in but its been a busy 4 years: bought a house, got married, had a kid, went on several vacations. I’ve grown up a shit-ton and I’m really happy with how my 20’s have gone. I don’t regret doing this all so fast but it is still pretty fresh so that could change. I don’t see it happening though! I really do love my life.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 4:58 pm
I always forgot you are only 24. That’s a good thing in so many ways.
lemongrass April 24, 2013, 5:07 pm
I would be in such a different place if I didn’t start dating my husband at 19. Not a better or worse place just very different. We really have grown up so much from then 🙂 He’s getting his first wrinkles and he has a few grey hairs now. I love it.
Bittergaymark April 24, 2013, 4:57 pm
Ugh. Piercings and hideous tattoos are the “perms” of your generation… I can’t get over how crappy people go out of their way to make themselves. Its all so adolescent… Tragic. 99.9 percent of all that ink… just, well… stinks. Most tattos are hilariously bad and instantly trashy…
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 4:59 pm
How sweet of you to say after a dozen people on here said they have tattoos.
iwannatalktosampson April 24, 2013, 5:04 pm
I have a four leaf clover right below my bikini line on my hip. It’s ADORABLE. I’ve had it for 6 years and I love the shit out of it. I specifically got it in a place that’s not obvious to the general public… most swimsuits even cover it up. But man I love that thing. Maybe one day i’ll want it off.. but not soon.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 5:07 pm
Same here, hidden, but loved.
Taylor April 24, 2013, 6:09 pm
Ditto.
Bittergaymark April 24, 2013, 5:04 pm
And I’m sure they all look just great… Especially in a backless dress.
lets_be_honest April 24, 2013, 5:06 pm
Is it possible this is the kindness that led you nowhere as you stated above?
Bittergaymark April 24, 2013, 5:02 pm
And don’t even get me started on ear plugs… Gag. Vomit. Barf. Talk about instantly dating yourself…. Good luck ever lying about your age when you are so forever mutilated by today’s hippest bad decisions…
tbrucemom April 24, 2013, 6:24 pm
You had me until your comment about Bush. I have a problem bringing politics into things like advice columns. I can read Fox or CNN for political stuff.
Addie Pray April 24, 2013, 6:44 pm
But mom of tbruce, ear muffs! You can take the ear muffs after the Bush number. There, problem solved! I by the way have been putting out fires all damn day!
lemongrass April 24, 2013, 6:57 pm
Thats the freedom Wendy has by having her own website, she can talk about anything she wants!
Bittergaymark April 24, 2013, 8:06 pm
Please that anybody would STILL defend that fucking moron after he all but destroyed America over his War On Terror which had now proved to be a War In Error… Fuck Bush. Worst President ever. The Tori Spelling of Presidents…
*HmC* April 24, 2013, 8:21 pm
Wow I have so much in common with Wendy, no wonder I clicked with this site haha.
*HmC* April 24, 2013, 8:23 pm
You don’t know how close I was to getting an atrocious UNICORN tattoo.. when I was EIGHTEEN… in TIJUANA. *sigh of relief*
kmentothat April 25, 2013, 10:46 am
This made me snort!
katie April 24, 2013, 10:32 pm
i just dominated the recent posts board. boom!
thats called “pullin an AP,” everyone. your welcome.
Addie Pray April 25, 2013, 9:09 am
haha, i noticed the all-katie-on-the-side-bar. i approve!
Catcar April 24, 2013, 10:41 pm
I’ve got 9 tattoos (and am getting another one next month) and I’m only 23. But they’re all large gorgeous quality pieces that I love… Well except for the ten dollar tiny purple peace sign on my wrist, but I love even that one.
MissDemeter April 25, 2013, 8:18 am
I’m only 22 and I love the way my 20s are turning out so far. Married, 1 tattoo so far, eyebrow pierced, poly. I’ haven’t done anything I regret, but I have lots of fun stories about good, weird and bad experiences I’ve had.
kmentothat April 25, 2013, 10:45 am
I’m 28 and definitely changed a lot of things once I started working a corporate job at 25…like not getting drunk during the week, because early meeting are bad enough without smelling like vodka and McDonalds while contemplating vomiting.
The one thing I’m stuck on is the belly button piercing I’ve had since I was 19. It’s just a basic one, clear stone, nothing crazy. If I take it out, I have a big dark hole where it was which just looks worse. But the closer I get to 30 the more I know I’m going to have to get rid of it soon, because I’m sure it’s already ridiculous at my age. Not that anyone really sees it….and yeah, I still actually like it haha.
Elizabeth October 20, 2013, 1:53 pm
Funny, I was just about to post about my belly-button ring. I got it the day I turned 18 at a shop on St. Marks’ in NYC. I am 26 now and I still like how it looks tbh. I’m also slightly terrified of how it looks removed after..damn 8 years. I did switch it out though for a small 14k gold ring, so it’s not a dangling butterfly or anything that awful.
Lily in NYC April 26, 2013, 12:05 pm
I can’t believe no one is commenting about Wendy almost being on Big Brother! Wendy, if you are reading this, do you remember any of the names of the people who were on that season? I used to watch it way back then (cringe).