Guest columnists and contributors are generously sharing their talents and insights while I’m taking some time to care for my new baby. Today’s post comes from freelance journalist Hannah Ehrig who is getting married on New Year’s Eve.
To every girl out there who has ever had a man who just wouldn’t pop the question: this is the article for you. If you want that ring, forget the classics like faking pregnancies and needing green cards, here is a list of nine sure-fire ways to convince a man to propose.
1. Bring it up … constantly. Leave out bridal magazines, circle pictures of rings you like and put them on the fridge and leave sticky notes in his briefcase with messages like, “Tonight’s the night!” If there is anything men respond to it is persistence.
2. If the constant reminders don’t get his attention, start sending yourself flowers, gifts and chocolates. Make sure you receive them at a time when he is home. He will become so jealous of your suitors he will have to pop the question.
3. If that doesn’t work, go “shopping” with a friend. When you get to your local jeweler, call your man and tell him you just spotted your engagement ring and he needs to pick it up tonight. Be direct; they like that.
4. He might try an excuse like, “I can’t afford it right now.” If it that’s the case, take whatever ring he is wearing, put it on your finger and tell him the deal is done.
5. Some men will think you are joking and grab the ring back. If this happens, go home and regroup. Think of everything you know about all his ex girlfriends. Every time you see him for the next two weeks, mention those girls and how awful they are compared to you and how you were the one to save him from his dark past. He will have no choice but to marry you.
6. He may decide that none of his exes were that bad, or you might be his first girlfriend. If that is the case, fall into a deep depression that can only be cured by shiny objects. The more bling the bigger the smile.
7. It’s rare, but some men still won’t get it. If that’s the case, it’s time to pull out the big guns. Take to big, romantic gestures. Especially in his work place. The more people watching, the better. If you know he has a meeting, surprise him by showing up after 20 minutes with roses, balloons and other tokens of your love. Let him know you care at every moment.
8. Remember, “no” does not mean “no.” It means try harder. If he is resistant to your charms, don’t give up. Show up more. Do more.
9. If, after this list, a proposal does not come your way, plan a surprise dinner with all his family and friends. Tell him it is a low-key dinner with just the two of you. Make sure you have an argument before hand so he does not suspect. As soon as everyone surprises him, scream, “Yes! OMG, a hundred times, yes!” at the top of your lungs. Tell his family the day before that he has already asked you and you’ve been waiting until the party to give your answer.
Finally: congratulations! You’re going to make a beautiful bride.