Thought this was a good one from the forums:
So my question is if it would be offensive to friend #1 if I miss her rehearsal dinner on the 18th so I can attend friend #2’s wedding? I plan to leave after dinner of friend’s #2 wedding, drive back and stay the night at my friend #1’s bed & breakfast that she rented, and be there to help her in the morning of her special day of the 19th.
Is this possible? Can I please two people in one weekend? — Two Bridal Besties
It’s possible, but you definitely want to check in with bride #1 first and get a feel for how important it is to her that you’re at the rehearsal dinner. Maybe you already have a sense of how she might feel about such a thing. Is she generally pretty laid-back? Has she been super invested in planning her wedding (like, have you and the other bridesmaids been getting lots of emails with updates on everything from what shoes she’s debating on wearing to what color napkins she’s chosen for the reception)? If you’re pretty sure she’d be ok with you missing her rehearsal dinner, just explain to her how equally important this other friend is to you and how much it would mean to you to be able to be at her wedding. Tell her you’ve made a commitment to her first so that, if your missing the rehearsal dinner will make too much of an inconvenience, you’ll be there. If you really aren’t sure at all how she would react to your missing the dinner, or you suspect she wouldn’t be happy about it, you could just tell her that your very good friend is getting married the day before her and you wish there were some way you could be there. If she shrugs and doesn’t say anything, there’s your answer. If she suggests you skip the rehearsal dinner, then there you go. Yes, it’s a little passive going this route, but, if your biggest worry here is offending her, this is a safe way to avoid that but still gauge how she’d feel about you missing part of her wedding activities.
As far as being IN wedding #2, I’d just make things as easy as possible on yourself, considering the circumstances, and graciously suggest you simply go as a guest. You’ll already be spreading yourself pretty thin by hitting, in two days, two weddings that are a four-hour drive apart, without being responsible for posing for professional photos and fluffing wedding dresses and wearing taffeta gowns for both of them.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected]arwendy.com.