A month later he told me he doesn’t know whether he doesn’t love me anymore or if he is just confused because of what’s happening in his life. I told him that it is totally normal being confused in his case and that I will remain by his side whenever he needs anything and that I don’t want him to offer me anything or make any effort to make me happy until he feels well again.
A month later he repeated his words again. He said that he is not happy because he is not making me happy. He said that he doesn’t want to be a burden in my life. He asked me if I needed a break, and I refused and told him that I am here to remain by his side and that I won’t leave him when he’s having a hard time only to come back when he is happy.
Later, during the same month, he visited a counselor, but he always refuses to talk about it. Today we talked again. I was very mad at him because I didn’t like the way he treats girls at college — he is being so friendly that everyone has started commenting about it. He said he was trying to gain his old life back again (the life he had before we were even together). And then we repeated the same conversation again, and he suggested that we take a break. I refused and told him to choose between two things: either we save the relationship and he should start to respect me more, or we end it. He said he will try to fix things. But later I learned that he told my friends weeks ago that he wants to break up with me but doesn’t want to upset me.
I am very confused. I don’t know what he wants. Yesterday was the first time he went out with his friends in a very long time. He sleeps a lot. He doesn’t study. He is failing in almost all courses. We don’t go out. But it’s hard for me to know when he is sad because he’s funny and cracks jokes all the time. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him. Please advise me!! — No Need for a Break
So, your boyfriend has tried to break up with you — oh, sorry, I mean “take a break” — FOUR times and you keep refusing to leave his side and you are confused about why he’s acting withdrawn?! Honey, take a hint. He doesn’t want to date you anymore. He’s tried to be nice about it and you are making it really hard, by literally refusing to leave his side. Give the guy a break! He doesn’t want to be pressured. And he sure as shit doesn’t want a girlfriend who tells him in one breath not to make an effort to make her happy and then in the next breath gives him grief about being overly friendly to other girls and demands more respect or else. It sounds like he has enough to worry about right now, so let him off the hook for worrying about you and tell him that, if it’s a break he wants, he can have it.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].