I bought him a small Christmas gift a little while ago. Here’s the rub: He has not gotten back to my last call almost a week ago; he’s been totally incommunicado for over a week.
I want to at least text him on Christmas and let him know I have a gift for him. (I mean, for real–what would I do with it anyway?) What’s the best way to word it and a plan of action after that? — Respected Romantic
It is the height of the holiday season and the guy you’ve been on a few dates with has left you hanging for a whole week? Girl, you’ve been ghosted. Sure, you could argue he’s busy — we’re all busy this time of year! — but how many seconds does it take to return a call and say as much? He’s probably found someone else to get festive with and if things don’t pan out with her, you might hear from him again before cuffing season hits its peak (at which point you should not reply). As for the small gift you got him that you don’t know what to do with, give it to someone who actually gives you the time of day, donate it, or pass it out to some rando on the street and say, “Merry Christmas!” Whatever you do though, don’t text Jake on Christmas and let him know you have a gift for him. Please don’t.
She is trying to get back on her feet after losing a place and after getting her kids back, and I am helping however I can. I’m happy to do anything she wants me to do. But I’m wondering if I’m just wasting my time because she doesn’t even know if she wants to be in a relationship again even though this past summer she was talking about us being in one. What do you think? — Wasting Time on my FWB?
I’m not sure what you mean by “wasting your time.” Would you consider being kind to your friend — helping her however you can, giving her and her kids gifts, and spending time with her — a waste if your friendship with benefits doesn’t develop into an actual relationship? If so, then yeah: you’re wasting your time, not because I can say for certain that she doesn’t want a relationship with you (it sounds like even she doesn’t know the answer to that); I can say for certain though that if you’d only be kind to someone in hopes your kindness would be repaid with a relationship, the feelings you have of caring for her aren’t authentic. If you truly care for her, you would want the best for her regardless of what she’s able to give you in return and you wouldn’t consider expressions of yourcare to be a waste.