There are two women who were in my previous bridal party that I do not plan on including this time around. We don’t talk or see each other nearly as much as we used to (although I suspect they both would still ask me to be in their weddings – if not only because they’ve alienated many of their other friends). They will both still be invited to my wedding, but I don’t want to have to rely on them or worry about them getting along with the other bridesmaids.
I’m wondering — would there be any expectation by them to be included in this one and if there would be any need for me to address it? It’s not like I’m going with the same wedding plans and swapping in a new man — it’s been three years, it’s a different man, and I feel like a new woman. So, does there need to be a talk about it? — Second Bridal Party
Most women probably aren’t going to be heartbroken over not spending an average of $1800 for a friend they’re no longer close to. Beyond that, it would be bad form to actually address the issue with them. The only reason you’d talk bridal party with them is if you were asking them to be in it or addressing a direct question by them about why they aren’t included this time around. In the case of the latter, a simple and vague, “I’m going in a different direction this time, but I’d be so honored if you’d attend the wedding as a guest.”
There usually isn’t a surefire way to tell that someone is into you, but it seems like you’ve gotten a lot of good signals and it may be that this guy is shy or as concerned as you are about getting involved with a co-worker. If you’re really interested, that press him for a time and place to get together. Take the bulls by the horn. It’s not “humiliating” to ask someone out. Even if he’s not interested in dating you, he’ll be flattered.
You can’t “fix” the relationship on your own. If your boyfriend is unable or unwilling to invest in your relationship in the way you need him to — and that seems to be the case — you have to move on. When one person has needs the other person won’t meet over an extended period of time, the relationship is essentially over and pretending otherwise will only drag out the inevitable and prolong the heartache.
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