Holy crap, that was an intense read. Especially as a new mom to a baby son. In some ways, I could relate to Eva — the fear that she’d made a “mistake,” for example, was a fear that was very real to me in the early days of Jackson’s life when he screamed at piercing tones around the clock for about two or three weeks straight. Even admitting that here — that a part of me worried I’d made a mistake that would cost me not just myself but my husband, too — I can relate to Eva’s shame and worry at being seen as a bad mother. What kind of mother admits to believing her child was a mistake, after all? An exhausted one, for one thing. A mother who, in a state of overwhelming fatigue, wild hormones, and raw shell-shockness, experiences something like trauma and imagines the worst — that it will last forever.
Lucky for me, the trauma didn’t last. Not so lucky for Eva, hers only seemed to grow. Poor, poor Eva.
So, here’s the question she doesn’t think matters: Was she responsible for Thursday? And why do you think Kevin spared her and not Celia or Franklin? Why did Eva never consider leaving Franklin? She had the money — she could have gotten herself her own place back in Tribeca and given Franklin a generous amount of child support to keep him — and Kevin — off her back. Why, as miserable as she was, did she never consider that? And why, if she thought herself such a terrible mother, did she have a second baby? Of course, she hoped a second baby would prove that she wasn’t a terrible mother — that she could, in fact, love and nurture a child, and that Kevin was Kevin to no fault of her own but simply because that’s the way nature made him. So, do you think she succeeded at proving that? Did Celia provide enough proof that Eva could be a good mother? And if so, what does it say about Eva’s mothering that Celia ended up dead — and not before losing an eye? What do you think Kevin will be like when he’s released from prison after serving seven years?
* Don’t forget to get a copy of next month’s DW book club selection: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.