Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Bride Asks Wedding Guests to Buy Her New Breasts

Of all the letters I answer on this site, none rile people up quite like the wedding-related ones. Make no bones about it — people are passionate about weddings, from etiquette to scrutinizing the behavior of bridezillas and high-maintenance guests. But of all the wedding-related letters I’ve received, none has been quite as … well, cray-cray as the story about this bride in the UK who registered for new boobs for her wedding.

“We have already got a kettle and toaster. Crockery, dinner mats and matching coasters. So, rather than something we have already got, we would appreciate money for Louise’s boob job pot!” wrote Louise Hampson and her then-fiancé Les, in their wedding invitations sent to over 200 guests.

For their wedding, Louise and Les received over 2,000 pounds (about $3200) in monetary gifts. “My wonderful wedding guests have given me the greatest boost to my married life – new boobs for the blushing bride!” exclaimed Louise, who went from a 32D to a 32 DD after surgery last month to help lift and boost her saggy tittays.

Now I have heard it all.

89 comments… add one
  • PFG-SCR June 3, 2011, 9:39 am

    She received cash gifts for her boob job of $3,200? There’s something to be said for brazen vanity, I guess. [sarcasm]

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  • MissDre June 3, 2011, 9:42 am

    Why would anybody WANT to be a DD? Having huge breasts is a curse! And why the hell would you get a boob job just to go up one cup size? I mean fine, if you’re an A and you want to be a C, go for it… But she already had big boobs! Was it really so hard on her self esteem to have them a little droop a little?

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    • TheGirl June 3, 2011, 10:20 am

      I was thinking the same thing. I have 32DDs and I would LOVE to take them down a notch. Its impossible to find bras that fit in my size that aren’t giant ugly beige things (most DDs start at a 34 band size) or make them look like traffic cones. If she wanted them to sit higher, she should have just gotten a lift.

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      • ArtsyGirl June 3, 2011, 10:41 am

        I am small chested but I have a lot of big chested friends (they are also all tall and skinny damn it!). Anyhoo there are a lot of new boutique bra specialty shops popping up in cities. If you are in Indiana there is a place called Barbara’s New Beginnings and specializes in high end bras for unusual sizes or for women who have had mastectomies. I have a friend that I kid you not is a 34 G and she was almost in tears because she got to buy her first pretty bras when she went there with me. They aren’t cheap (low end about $80) but totally worth it.

      • jena June 3, 2011, 11:05 am

        if youre in the states, check out Modern Movement. 30-32DD is IMPOSSIBLE to find, but Dillard’s carries this brand. they are super comfy, fit really nice, and arent ridiculously expensive (most larger bras are upwards of $70, theirs are $30-40)

      • TheGirl June 3, 2011, 11:25 am

        I’ll have to look for them! I don’t have a Dillard’s nearby, but somebody must have them. I know a few places around here that do have usual sizes, but they’re just too expensive! If I could afford $80 a bra that would be awesome, but even the $60-$70 I’m paying right now for Wacoal is just too much. And, of course, their pretty ones are the ones that give me cone boob. Its the boring stretchy ones without the seam that fit right… and never the convertible/strapless ones!

      • plasticepoxy June 3, 2011, 12:02 pm

        I just googled Modern Movement online and linked to Dillards.com. The website I found doesn’t offer anything smaller than 32, unless you want an A or B cup, maybe the stores offer more options? Or maybe they’re just for large-busted women with larger torsos. I’d love to buy a bra that’s my size, instead of buying the closest thing. They’re always too large around the ribs and weird in the cups since it slides around my ribcage all day long. I’m constantly adjusting them (the bra and the boobs, haha).

        My sister goes to a specialty store near her home in MO and has her bras custom-made, since she needs a size like 28G. I’m in MN, and haven’t found anywhere similar that doesn’t cost over $90 for one bra, which is well outside of my budget. Heck, I don’t need anything fancy, just something that actually fits would be nice.

      • GingerLaine June 3, 2011, 12:22 pm

        My recommendation is to go be fitted at one of those specialty stores & write down the brands, models, and sizes of the bras that work for you. Then Google Power. When I was fitted for my wedding, I felt like I was in bra heaven since I wear a 34F/G. Unfortunately, that specialty shop wanted $50-100+ for their bras. I found lots of UK sites and a few US ones (Linda the Bra Lady, Bare Necessities, etc.) that had lovely things for me under $50!! Pretty little things with lace, prints, etc. Also check out Elle MacPherson – makes lovely bras in large sizes AND they sell them at Nordstrom & Nordstrom Rack too. 🙂

      • densityduck June 5, 2011, 11:50 am

        I know I’m being snippy, but if the specialty shop is a local place then they’re depending on you buying a bra in order to stay in business. The least you can do is buy *one*; think of it like a tip for finding the proper size for you.

      • kdog June 3, 2011, 11:47 am

        Another great place to try is Intimacy. There are a few around the country…Atlanta, Dallas, Scottsdale, Houston, LA, NY, etc. They are very sweet there. I am a 32 F. The first time I went there I dropped major cash, but I swear it changed my life (I know, I know, but I’m actually serious). I was comfortable and my bras were pretty for the first time ever. And the earlier you do it, the less saggy they’ll get cause you’re helping em where they need it. I just wish I could have done it 10 years earlier.

      • sesl June 3, 2011, 12:01 pm

        Totally feel you, kdog. I’m also a 32F and when I first found a bra boutique that had bras in my size, I swear it changed my life. I’d been wearing the wrong size for years and I wore a new bra out of the store like a complete weirdo and felt like skipping down the sidewalk. For ladies in the NYC area, Linda the Bra Lady (silly name, but great little store) is wonderful. Again, not at all cheap, but totally worth it, in my opinion, to have comfortable, supportive bras that you don’t hate.

      • GingerLaine June 3, 2011, 12:24 pm

        I also recommended Linda’s! Ladies outside of the NYC area can shop on her website too!

      • kdog June 3, 2011, 12:35 pm

        Haha, sesl, I did the exact same thing!

    • Lamia June 3, 2011, 10:44 pm

      Maybe she didn’t feel like they were big. I’m a 38D but I feel like I’m still pretty small.

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        Lanchik June 4, 2011, 11:52 am

        Really? That’s interesting. One of my friends is a D-cup and she gets back pains from having a larger chest, but then again, she’s very petite.

        I’m only a 32B, which I don’t mind because when I was doing gymnastics, I was 32A (and that’s really like there’s nothing there!).

  • TMSC June 3, 2011, 10:02 am

    well, I guess if that’s what they really wanted. but to be honest, if I got a wedding invitation asking for money for a boob job, I am just not sure how I would feel about contributing to that…

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    • GingerLaine June 3, 2011, 12:25 pm

      For realz. Buy your own tits, lady. Or get your husband to do it. I ain’t paying for your jubblies.

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      • catscratch June 3, 2011, 1:22 pm

        >jubblies. Lol. Love it. 🙂

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      Heather June 8, 2011, 3:26 pm

      Agreed, it’s a personal thing. But tbh if it was a relatively good friend of mine, and if they really wanted that instead of a toaster or something, what’s the real difference? just a personal thought though. 🙂

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  • LolaBeans June 3, 2011, 10:03 am

    i love reading the daily mail! lol.

    this bride is wacko.

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    • A.P June 3, 2011, 1:44 pm

      Me too! Haha…they usually have interesting articles that CNN probably wouldn’t have

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  • ArtsyGirl June 3, 2011, 10:44 am

    Honestly I was not sure how I felt about brides and grooms registering for parts of their honeymoon, but this is a whole new level. I could possibly understand if there was a reason for the plastic surgery – say a previous botched attempt or a medical reason – but this just seems fairly vain to me. Also I wonder if she forced her guests to pay for the surgery by not registering for anything else. I had a friend do this and I thought it was uber shady.

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    • Bethany June 3, 2011, 11:06 am

      My future borther in law and his wife did that honeymoon registry thing and I thought it was totally tacky and refused to contribute. We bought them a gift card instead.

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      • G June 3, 2011, 12:36 pm

        Don’t think it is tacky at all to register for a honeymoon/ask for money towards it! I loved knowing that my contribution went to my two good friends going snorkeling in Australia. Because I love them and want whatever I give them to be something they can enjoy and be happy about. Whether that is a lovely set of dishes, or a fun time they will treasure forever. Boob job though… a little much

      • Bethany June 3, 2011, 1:37 pm

        In the situation I mentioned above I felt it was tacky because they specifically registered for things on their honeymoon that were FREE to get into (certain parks/memorials in Hawaii) and then asked for $50 for admission to get into these places. I don’t mind buying people a nice gift that they can use together, like a fancy dinner or a day at the spa, but I think it’s super tacky to just try to get money out of people and disguise it as a part of your trip.

      • baby.blanka June 3, 2011, 11:38 am

        Why is it tacky? Just curious because I am thinking of doing the same thing. Me and my BF have everything we’d need as far as registry items go, so I think it would be silly to ask people to buy us items that we don’t need. However considering the costs of a wedding, we probably wouldn’t be able to afford much of a honeymoon, so I was thinking of registering for that so people can put money towards something we’d actually use and appreciate.

      • ArtsyGirl June 3, 2011, 12:04 pm

        It depends on how you do it. The friend mentioned above only registered for about 20 items (and all of them were well over $150) for her 200 person wedding. She also registered for lots of different parts of her honeymoon – dinners, day trips, passes, a fishing trip, etc. On the other hand, my cousin had a single event (a private romantic dinner cruise to star gaze in Hawaii). He and his bride had a picture taken while on the cruise and then included it in all the thanks yous which was very cute.

        It is a new idea – and is similar to asking for cash – so it just rubs some people the wrong way. I would say as long as you make sure you don’t force people to pay then it is fine to register for your honeymoon.

      • baby.blanka June 3, 2011, 12:16 pm

        Well I guess that’s what I am missing about the gift card vs the honeymoon idea that Bethany mentioned. You’re still paying money, but you’re doing it in a way that directly goes against what the couple was hoping for. I am confused about how you think a honeymoon registry is tacky but spending the money on something else just to spite them isn’t?

        Also that Hawaii idea sounds very sweet.

      • ArtsyGirl June 3, 2011, 12:32 pm

        I think the people who feel the honeymoon registry is tacky are probably the same people who are not comfortable with giving cash or gift cards. They like to physically pick out and present the couple with a gift rather than something as impersonal as a gift card or cash. I def. appreciated the practicality of gift cards and checks at my wedding since it allowed me to put multiple together to buy some of the bigger ticket items which we were not able purchase on our own (mmm stainless steel chef series knife set with teak block…..drool*).

        Like everything I think there is a classy and a tacky way to go about it. There are a bunch of people who have written about it, including Miss Manners. P.S. Congrats Baby!

      • baby.blanka June 3, 2011, 12:57 pm

        lol not engaged yet… just wishful thinking 😉

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        TaraMonster June 3, 2011, 11:41 am

        I wrote below that my cousin and her husband did that. They registered with Liberty Travel. I gave them a check, but I don’t think there’s anything tacky about registering for a honeymoon. If people don’t like it, then they don’t have to contribute to it. No one is required to give a gift, it’s just a nice gesture. I don’t see what the big deal is.

      • baby.blanka June 3, 2011, 11:44 am

        That’s kind of how I feel – I think it’s bordering on being outwardly rude to say no to spending money on a honeymoon registry but to spend the same amount of money on a gift card. For all you know, they may never use the gift card and you totally wasted the money. At least with a honeymoon registry you know that your cash is directly contributing to the honeymoon.

      • PFG-SCR June 3, 2011, 12:37 pm

        I always give cash as wedding gifts, and I would hope that it’s used towards the honeymoon or something “fun” for the couple. I guess technically, “new boobies” are fun for the couple, but I’d be a bit put off being asked for something that is cosmetic in nature. But, when I give my money as a gift, it’s really theirs to do as they choose anyway.

      • Kare June 4, 2011, 1:50 am

        I think whether or not something is tacky depends on how it’s presented. Like if you already have the honeymoon planned and register for excursion type things and let people know, that’s fine. But my boyfriend’s relatives are planning to pass around a collection plate at the wedding for their honeymoon. I just think that’s a bit tacky, especially considering most people buy a gift beforehand or bring a set amount of money in a card. Of course they’re also registered for excursions, but that’s for people who aren’t invited to the wedding. The collection plate is for spending money on the trip.

      • jena June 6, 2011, 12:19 pm

        How is it tacky? My cousin did it when he married his wife because they’d been living together and didn’t need housey stuff. All you did by getting them a giftcard is make them go shopping when all they wanted was a debt free honeymoon.

        So again, how is asking for what you want tacky? Getting things you didnt ask for is tackier, in my opinion.

  • MsMisery June 3, 2011, 10:54 am

    I am just glad this happened in the UK and not the US. I am always glad when something really trashy happens NOT in the US. It’s like “Phew! Somewhere else for a change.”

    But yeah. Ew. If that were printed on my invite, I’d be like….. no. Here’s a donation to “The Human Fund” in your honor instead…

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    • kdog June 3, 2011, 11:50 am

      Love it, MsCostanza!

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    • TheOtherMe June 3, 2011, 12:34 pm

      Any Seinfeld reference just makes my day – thanks !

      A donation to the “Human Fund” or even a new Johnson rod would do fine !

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  • jena June 3, 2011, 11:06 am

    Well, weddings *are* often just a chance for the bride to be mega-ultra-over-the-top-vain, so this doesn’t surprise me too much :-/

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  • ele4phant June 3, 2011, 11:26 am

    Oh gross. I am kind of to the point where I think wedding registeries are becoming a bit excessive (do you really need us all to buy you expensive houseware when you’ve been living on your own for the past ten years? How about a modest token of our love and support for your union instead?), but this is just selfish. How does this contribute to their new union in any meaningful way?

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    • TMSC June 3, 2011, 11:37 am

      I tried SO hard to NOT have a registry, or a shower. I repeatedly expressed my desire – considering my wedding is out-of-town, it is a small, and we’ve lived together for 4 years – to skip the shower/registry. However, several people asked for where we were registering, expressing panic and shock that I thought about not having one, and a shower is being planned anyway. I think it is expected for most weddings, by the guests as much as the bride and groom. We tried to be accommodating by including many gifts at very modest prices.

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      • ele4phant June 3, 2011, 11:52 am

        Oh, I understand they are expected, and I do think when someone is getting married (or experiencing any big life event), you should get them a gift.

        But to be registered at Tiffany’s for the entire plated silver serving ware? Its a tad much. It sounds like yours wasn’t going to crazy, as I have seen.

      • Jem June 3, 2011, 8:25 pm

        Sigh. I’m apparently totally out of date regarding registries. In the dark ages, people just registered things like their formal china pattern, so if you wished to give them a setting you would know what they’d chosen. Other gifts were up to you.

        I’m not opposed to the idea of providing a selection of things you need – who wants to give a useless gift? – but when did it become a requirement to only give things from the registry?

        (For the record, I didn’t have a registry. Formal china pattern is just not me, plus between me and my husband we already had the household stocked. Fine with me if friends and family just showed up, had a good time, and gave whatever they wanted to.)

  • Laurel June 3, 2011, 11:35 am

    Why is it so tacky to ask for money (instead of gifts) as a wedding present? I’m not engaged, and while I don’t need china sets, money towards a honeymoon or a downpayment (house or car) would be a lot more useful.

    I’m genuinely curious.

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    • TMSC June 3, 2011, 11:39 am

      I agree…and I know there are actually web sites now where you can register to receive cash gifts. I think the trend is changing slightly, but formal wedding etiquette still says you shouldn’t ask for money…

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    • TMSC June 3, 2011, 11:40 am

      also, I know it is generally a rule of thumb to give a “gift” at the shower and “money” for the wedding itself, as that is supposed to help recoup the cost of the wedding.

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    • justpeachy June 3, 2011, 3:19 pm

      I think part of it is that she wanted new, big boobs BEFORE the wedding. She wanted her cash up front. If they’d just set up a cash registry and spent the money after the wedding, no one would have probably questioned it.

      But she wants her big boobies and she wants them now!

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    • mf June 3, 2011, 6:12 pm

      Actually, it’s tacky to ask for ANY sort of gift (money or otherwise).

      When you are engaged, if you really want people to give you money, skip the registry. Your guests will get the message (and besides, they won’t know what else to get you). Friends of mine did this recently and they got almost all cash gifts.

      This same couple did, however, directly tell all their friends and family that they wanted $$. And no, they didn’t do it in response to a lot of queries of “What sort of wedding gift do you?” They literally told me, without being asked, that they wanted money. I’m sure they didn’t mean to make a bad impression, but it did seem rather greedy and obnoxious.

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    • Woman of Words June 4, 2011, 8:36 am

      I’d rather give the couple a gift they can keep and remember the occasion when they used/looked at it. Especially for someone that I’m close to. My sister asked for $$ towards a big screen tv but we gave her a piece of artwork instead. The tv will die eventually but the artwork won’t.

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  • Sarah June 3, 2011, 11:37 am

    I would just send her a note saying that I had put my money towards her boobs in a more long term way and donated the money to breast cancer research.

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  • SGMcG June 3, 2011, 12:16 pm

    I don’t know which is worse – the fact that she asked for a boob job or the fact that she wrote a rhyme on the wedding invitations asking for it! I thought it was tacky to include registry/gift information on the wedding invite – irregardless of what you’re asking for. Heck, I thought if you were one of those couples who eschewed gifts altogether for a charity donation, it was taboo to include ANY mention of money on the invite. The invite is to let a guest that you want them there on your special day, not an invite to immediately start the collection going. If you’re a guest receiving an invite, you’re supposed to call in and ask for gift registry information then, not immediately thinking how much you want to contribute to the boob job pot.

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    • Hana June 3, 2011, 12:34 pm

      I don’t know… I’ve always gotten a separate gift registry card in my invites. So I think its custom to send those at east in the same envelope, but I still think her request was tacky!

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    • Sarah June 3, 2011, 12:41 pm

      You’re invited to the ceremony,
      and I’ll greet you with kisses and hugs,
      but first do me a solid,
      and pay for some giant new jugs.

      I’ll thank you for my new chesticles,
      I’ll thank you so much you’ll get sick of hearing me talk,
      and in turn my husband will thank me,
      with his big erect …toast at the reception.

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      • SGMcG June 3, 2011, 2:13 pm

        The time is now right
        for a wedding and reception.
        Our day will be perfect –
        with this one exception:

        The tits that were once perky
        are now sagging for life.
        So the bride has decided
        She’ll get under the knife.

        Rather than the usual
        Gifts and best wishes
        How about paying for the boob job?
        Let’s get her in stitches!

        So come revel in their love
        and shower her with cash!
        And on the first anniversary –
        Her tits she will flash.

    • ArtsyGirl June 3, 2011, 12:41 pm

      You are completely correct. Wedding etiquette states that you are not supposed to mention gifts on your invite. In a perfect world you shouldn’t even include the little pieces of paper which state “so and so is registered at Bed Bath and Beyond” which stores give to you by the truckload.

      What is supposed to happen is the bride mentions where she is registered to a few strategic people such as mother, mother in law, maid of honor, and best man and it is their job so let other guests know if they inquire.

      This is because it is considered in poor taste for the bride and groom to expect gifts at their wedding. Honestly being a little gauche saves a lot of time and trouble for guests who have to attempt to figure it out on their own.

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      • SpaceySteph June 3, 2011, 1:52 pm

        It seems pretty common these days for couples to include the address of their wedding website on a piece of paper in the invitation envelope. Then the website will have hotel info, registry info, airport info, dress code info, whatever.

        Recently I got an invitation with no registry information, no hotel information, no dress code, nothing but the single page invitation and then the reply postcard. I had to call one of her bridesmaids to find out where the hotel was because I’m coming from out of town and needed to book a room. She didn’t know either and had to ask the bride’s sister! Two weeks later I finally got that info. And I still don’t know where they’re registered. It may be tacky to include that stuff in the invite, but I would prefer more information instead of less, and then I have to hunt down all the specifics.

      • fallonthecity June 4, 2011, 12:36 am

        I always ask about the registry when I call to Rsvp (if I call instead of send a card). If I don’t call someone, I just check online at the usuals (Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Dillard’s, Macy’s, etc.).

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    bittergaymark June 3, 2011, 12:24 pm

    Wow, I’m just amazed somebody FINALLY found a way to make breast implants even more tacky!!

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      bittergaymark June 3, 2011, 12:42 pm

      Thumbs down? Really?! Okay, spill it, who has the breast implants?

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      • ele4phant June 3, 2011, 12:53 pm

        Agreed. I’m with you on this one today, mark.

    • Emsz June 3, 2011, 1:33 pm

      My first thought as well. Especially when I found out what the change in size was.

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  • Hana June 3, 2011, 12:32 pm

    Ewww…. sounds kind of rude. I have uneven breasts that cause pain when I wear anything because of the pulling. (one is an A and one is a small C) Makes the fabric cut into my skin, sometimes I bleed and sometimes I just get a horrible rash from it. Even so I would not get a boob job unless I could afford it. I would never ask people or register for one.

    But my man and I were talking the other day about wedding gifts. We were thinking of asking for cash because we already live together and have everything we need/want. If we got cash it could help with the cost of the wedding. We are not going to plan anything too extravagant and definitely nothing beyond re means, but help is still appreciated.
    What would be a nice way to ask for cash? I would never want anyone to feel like they had to give us something, but I have a lot of family that would be calling and asking what to get me! I was thinking of in lieu of gifts send cash, but then I thought that sounded too tacky and demanding for something. Maybe If you wish to send/bring a gift, cash would be appreciated?

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    • Maracuya June 3, 2011, 12:44 pm

      I don’t know I feel in your situation, if you wanted to you the cash for a ‘boob job’ it wouldn’t be tacky. It’s something that causes you pain, whereas this woman just wanted DDs.

      “A gift of cash for [mortgage,wedding,reason] would be well appreciated. However, if you would purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us.” (Taken out of poem form because I don’t like rhyming things. Sorry.)

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        bittergaymark June 3, 2011, 12:50 pm

        Rhyming is tacky. But, hey, at least she used some restraint… I mean, it could have been: “My husband will love us both to bits, if you buy me a much improved pair of tits!”

      • Hana June 3, 2011, 12:51 pm

        Thanks! thats a great suggestion. And its ok, I don’t like rhyming things either lol.

    • ArtsyGirl June 3, 2011, 12:50 pm

      Hmm this is a sticky wicket – there are a lot of wonderful website which address this issue specifically. Basically the consensus say the only proper way to request cash is to let it be known word of mouth that you would prefer this over crystal goblets.

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      • Riefer June 3, 2011, 3:01 pm

        Yep, you can’t ask for cash (or any gifts, actually) without being tacky. My husband and I didn’t need much, and would have preferred cash as gifts, but I refuse to even put registry info in my invite, let alone a request for cash!

        So, what we did was set up a wedding website (there are sites out there that let you do a minimal one for free). We did register, because there are always people who would prefer to buy a gift, and it’s rude not to enable/allow that. So I put my registry information on the website, and we registered for whatever little things we still needed. Make sure to register for things in a lot of price points. We had some $20-40, some $60-80, some $100-150.

        Now here’s the trick – we registered for a bunch of decorative things we didn’t particularly want. And then we made sure that we could return them. Actually there are places that won’t allow you to return them for cash, but will allow you to put the value towards something else from the store. So we made sure to register someplace where we could buy things we actually needed. For example, we really needed new mattresses, so we returned some of the things and got the mattresses instead. We also needed a new vacuum, did the same thing. Think about big purchases that you’re going to have to make, and then register somewhere that you can make them. And if you can find a place that lets you return for cash, more power to you. Or you could see if you can return for gift cards, and then sell the gift cards on ebay or something.

        Now, I did feel a bit bad returning some of this stuff to get other stuff – but to tell you the truth, most of the people who bought off the registry were cousins and that who we aren’t all that close with, and what do they care? They’ll never be over at my house, so I just sent a thank you for the item they purchased me, and how much I appreciated it (which I did!). If it’s something personal or from someone close who actually thought I would love it, I would never return it.

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    TaraMonster June 3, 2011, 11:34 am

    I actually don’t mind couples flat out asking for money. No one is required to give a gift, but if you’re going to give something, why not something the couple wants and/or needs? My cousin and her husband ask people to contribute to their honeymoon fund. Admittedly, that’s a reasonable fund to have, but I would have laughed out loud if I got an invitation with a boobie fund request. I probably would have thought she’s crazy for wanting even bigger boobs than she already has, but hey, if that’s what she wants, then so be it!

    But a comment purely on wanting 32DD… Is she out of her MIND?!! I’m a 34D and when I was on BC they got about half a cup size bigger. It made buying bras a nightmare, my back hurt all the time, and if I shifted the wrong way just before my period it felt like my boobs were being electrocuted. She’s crazy. Crazy!! That is just one of the many reasons I will never take hormonal BC ever again.

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    • SpyGlassez June 3, 2011, 4:37 pm

      I’d give someone’s left nut to go down to a 34D or even a 34DD. I’m a 42DD, and the phrase “over the shoulder boulder holder” was invented for me, I think. One of my great aunts had to have two breast reductions done later in her life because of the pain from them. I’ve had back problems my whole life with these.

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    • densityduck June 5, 2011, 11:54 am

      That was my response, too. At first I’m thinking “well, there’s certainly worse thing she could spend the money on”, but when I read the article I was like “seriously lady a 32D is a pretty good size and if that’s disproportionately small then maybe you need to ask for liposuction instead of breast expansion…”

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  • Maracuya June 3, 2011, 12:39 pm


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  • GingerLaine June 3, 2011, 12:47 pm

    Please, please, please let her show up on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

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    • TheGirl June 3, 2011, 2:05 pm

      Her dress is not NEARLY large enough or tacky enough for that show… nor is her hair, for that matter.

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      • GingerLaine June 3, 2011, 2:53 pm

        Sigh… it’s true. I was just hopeful because I like as much disaster as possible in my train wrecks. 🙂

      • TheGirl June 3, 2011, 3:03 pm

        That show is FANTASTIC, by the way. The most delicious of train wrecks!

  • mcj2011 June 3, 2011, 1:18 pm

    that is just awesome! People are nuts!!!

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  • oldie June 3, 2011, 4:36 pm

    I’ve been to several weddings where they displayed all the wedding gifts on a long table at the reception. That wouldn’t work for this wedding.

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  • AKchic June 3, 2011, 4:53 pm

    32DD? Seriously? Ugh. On a good day, I am a 34DD. Usually I am anywhere from a 36DD to a 36G. Yes, G. When pregnant I spill out of H’s. I’m 5’3″ tall, so having such monstrosities hanging out there isn’t exactly “shapely”. Especially when prior to my car accident, I was 125lbs (even with the giant knockers).

    Thanks to the car accident, my spine is screwed up and my chest doesn’t make things easier. I’d love to get rid of my chest. Custom ordering my bras isn’t a fun thing to do. Having guys in public staring at my chest (even when I’m wearing jeans and a flannel shirt) is downright annoying. Getting hit on my drunks is disgusting. The constant “oh, you must have had a boob job” comments are insulting. Then they hear I have four kids and then they assume that on top of the boob job that I must have had a tummy tuck and other “work” done to stay in shape (it’s dumb luck, I swear).

    Just wait until this woman has kids. She is going to regret spending all of that money on her chest.

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  • atraditionalist June 3, 2011, 5:27 pm

    32 D is already pretty big. What the eff was the point in getting breast implants when you’re already quite large chested

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    • scattol June 3, 2011, 8:06 pm

      She was getting “full service”. Turned out that she had 3 kids from a previous marriage and her boobs were sagging from all the hard work. I can see that while getting them perked up, why not get it all done in one shot and make them even and the size you want.

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  • anna728 June 3, 2011, 10:02 pm

    Oh my god, even if I did want a boob job, I would never feel comfortable asking others for the money. Especially family. Think of like great aunts, dad, brothers… Not really people I want to discuss my boobs with.

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    • Woman of Words June 4, 2011, 8:53 am

      That’s because you have class, something which I think this bride was sorely lacking!

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  • egoist June 5, 2011, 10:34 am

    And when they divorce…how does the return of the gifts play out?

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  • JDW June 5, 2011, 10:58 am

    The new husband does realize that everytime a woman gets breast implants they are for every man in the world BUT their current husband or boyfriend, yes? Hey dudes, if your chick is talking “breast implants”, that means she’s one surgery, 3,000 dollars, and three months away from leaving you!

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  • Mike G June 5, 2011, 11:55 am

    I’m only giving money for a bride’s new breasts if I get visitation rights.

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  • Rollory June 5, 2011, 12:34 pm

    As a young single man, I must insist: this thread needs a LOT more pics.

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  • Jim June 5, 2011, 1:33 pm

    Sounds like the groom wound up with the biggest boob of all.

    Sometimes I speculate about the future, when some thirtieth-century archaeologist examines burial sites from our era, and writes a scholarly paper about we strange ancient people who worshipped gooey blobs of silicone, such that upper-caste females were buried with matched pairs of them placed near their hearts.

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  • comatus June 5, 2011, 7:00 pm

    How truly fortunate the world is that the bride, and not the groom, expressed this sense of genital inadequacy. Seekers, there is more to come.

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  • Fred June 5, 2011, 8:54 pm

    Next, groom registers for penis augmentation surgery for anniversary present.

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