I have refrained from discussing my guilty pleasure — The Bachelor/ette fanchise — too much here on DW, which has been pretty easy to do this season since Des and her batch of bachelors are so boring, but then last night things got interesting and now I have to dish. Spoiler alert (or, oops, sorry, I guess the headline probably already spoiled…)!
On last night’s episode of The Bachelorette, Desiree is down to three bachelors — sporty Chris who writes awful junior high style poetry, earnest and good-looking Drew who’s about as interesting as a piece of toast, and Brooks, the mormon with mommy issues who may or may not be a repressed gay (regardless, he is the only one of the three who has not professed his love to Des by the start of the episode). In a twist this season, the bachelorette shares her pick weeks before the final rose ceremony, declaring her love for Brooks and saying that although he hasn’t told her he loves her, the words are almost unnecessary because she already knows how he feels.
And then her world is turned upside down when Brooks, fresh off his hometown visit where his creepy mother basically tells him to MOA if he’s not feeling love after all of seven weeks, does the unthinkable: he tells Des he doesn’t love her. Poor Des! She’s devastated. She tells him he was the one she was going to pick! She tells him she loves him even though he broke her heart! And Brooks, unable to just MOA like he’s been advised to do, draws the pitiful breakup out for nearly 45 minutes, apologizing over and over and over and over. “Then stop saying it!” Des says through her tears.
Perhaps the most interesting part of this episode was when Brooks told Chris Harrison that he knows he’s not in love with Des because part of being wildly in love is feeling pain and he doesn’t feel pain with her. Isn’t that a weird thing to say? The whole pain part? I mean, I get when people say stuff like, “I love him so much it hurts,” but pain as a way to measure love is sort of … bizarre, no? But then when you see how anguished Brooks is breaking up with Des and how physically and emotionally hard it is for him to actually leave Desiree’s side, you have to wonder if he’s finally feeling the pain he thought he needed to feel in order to be in love.
I predict he’ll be back next week begging for Desiree to give him another chance. He’ll say he made a mistake or something like that. And she’ll probably take him back and they’ll get engaged and have a really effed up relationship for a few months or maybe a year until it all blows up in her face because Brooks is incapable of being a good partner to her. DES, DON’T TAKE HIM BACK!!
Brooks has issues. I don’t see him being husband, or even boyfriend, material until he gets some serious therapy. And I feel sorry for Desiree that she had these two other men fawning all over her and she only had eyes for the one who couldn’t love her. And now that she’s made such a huge deal of being in love with Brooks and not wanting to share her heart with anyone else, she’s not going to suddenly open herself up to bad-poet Chris or dry-as-toast Drew. And yet, all the gossip sites and magazines are saying that Des is engaged, so clearly someone wins her heart. I say Brooks comes back with his tail between his legs and Des, the masochist, says yes. I can’t WAIT to see what her psychotic brother has to say about all this!!!