I simply wanted to go to the family reunion, but he said we should never travel apart and he never likes to be away from me. He gets lonely and depressed when I’m not with him. I made him buy the ticket to Brazil anyway, but there were complications at the airport and I ended up not going because I wouldn’t get there in time. Even though I didn’t go, he was still acting upset because he wants me to tell him that I will never travel without him for any reason ever again. My mom and brother live in a different state so I like to go visit them for a week sometimes, and, since my family won’t accept him, I can’t bring him with me. I am extremely close with my mother, and I almost feel like I’ll have to choose between him or her. I was wondering if there’s any other way to fix things other than just leaving him. I do love him, but I also love my family. I don’t know what to do. — Choosing Between Family and Boyfriend
Your boyfriend is bad news, and, yes, you should absolutely leave him. He doesn’t love you and he doesn’t think of you as a person. He thinks of you as his property. He thinks he owns you. If he thought of you and loved you as a person, he would want you to see your family; he would want you to have interests and a life outside of him and your relationship. But he doesn’t. He is taking advantage of your youth and naiveté and what sounds like your dependency on him — did you mean to say you made him buy your ticket to Brazil (that you then didn’t even use because of “complications” at the airport)? — to attempt to control you. This is not love, and it is not a healthy relationship.
Do not let this man control you. Stop depending on him for anything. If you can’t be self-sufficient, ask your family for help. I’m sure they would much, much rather help you in any way they can than lose you forever to a man twice your age who won’t let you out of his sight. Stop depending on this man, and leave him. Run and don’t look back. And from now on, don’t ever get involved with a man who makes you believe the price of his “love” is your entire life.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].