Comments of the Week

This site wouldn’t be what it is without the active participation of all of you. Your insightful, funny, smart comments add different perspectives and valuable advice that I’m sure goes a long way in helping others sort through the issues in their own relationships. After the jump, some of the more memorable comments of the week (maybe you’ll even see your own!).

 

PFG-SCR in “He’s Changed His Mind About Kids. Should I Date Him Now?”: “You and your roommate have tried to make it work for over six months, but it never has, even when you’ve expressed your feelings for him. Now that you’ve found someone else, he’s all of a sudden has these feelings for you that he’s never shared, and those dealbreakers from before aren’t dealbreakers?

You know that’s just a ploy to get you to drop this other guy. If your roommate had feelings like that for you before, he would have told you or done something about it. His timing of waiting until you were dating another guy (and seeing you happy with that guy) is just because you being interested in someone else is a blow to his ego. He’s “jealous” not because he wants you, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.”

JennyTalia in His Take: “How Do I Put the Moves on a Woman?”: “I actually kind of agree with the cheating part. That’s the first thing I thought when I read the e-mail is that the boyfriend may not take her bisexuality seriously since he is so OK with her seeing women outside of their relationship. He may not realize that bisexuality includes actual emotion and it’s not just a Girls Gone Wild romp.”

SGMcG in “He Beat Me Up. Should I MOA?”: “Personally, I am more disturbed by the fact that LW refers to this man as her “Salvation”. Your daughter has known this man for 4 years and she is now 8. Do you refer to this guy as your “Salvation” around her? What kind of relationship is it that you think HE is the reason your life is better than it was 4 years ago? Your life got better because YOU wanted it that way for you and your daughter – he just happened to be in the picture because you let him there.

Although I partially agree with Wendy today, LW, you best be damn sure you want him back in again. For if you take him back, you are letting your daughter know that one-time severe abuse from your loved one, like the level you just experienced, can be tolerated if you know the person your whole life. And if you take him back, be advised that the next level of abuse that could potentially occur, could be your death. And who would take care of your daughter then?”

demoiselle in “He Beat Me Up. Should I MOA?”: “The very first time this man abused you, he THREW YOU TO THE FLOOR and BEAT YOU. Not an angry push. Not a slap. But he BEAT YOU. Not a good sign–abuse usually escalates. Is this what you want your child to see? MOA!! and set a good example for your daughter. You’ve already started to do it by walking away immediately. That is awesome strength. Please, keep it up.”

ReginaRey in “How Many Red Flags Are Too Many?”: “I recently read a memoir where the author described how her former husband began to pick on little things – her hair, her appearance, small things that she did – and the realization she came to was enlightening: “The little things start to irk you when you don’t really love someone anymore, when you have nothing left that’s causing you to overlook them.” I think that may be where you are now – you’re falling out of love with your boyfriend, and you’re starting to become annoyed by all of the quirks that you may have once overlooked (his taste in food, his relationship with his parents, his weight). THAT is what we’d call a major red flag, and it’s a good sign you need to MOA.”

kerrycontrary in “Should I Accept My Ex’s Friend Request on Facebook?”: “Holy Guacamole this LW went through A LOT at a young age. Pregnant at 13…Married at 18? You deserve to do what makes you happy now!”