Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Comments of the Week

With over 600 comments on the site this week, it was too hard to choose just one to highlight, so I’m now posting comments of the week each Friday. I’ve said it before, this site wouldn’t be what it is without the active participation of all of you. Your insightful, funny, smart comments add different perspectives and valuable advice that I’m sure goes a long way in helping others sort through the issues in their own relationships. This week, I’ve got a few commenters of the week I want to give a shout-out to — people who made multiple comments that created some buzz. Check ’em out after the jump.

callmehobo on “Am I Turning Into A Bridezilla?”: “I used to work in a wedding chapel, and I have seen tons of weddings, [and] while I understand how the LW’s situation could be frustrating, I would like to urge her to not let it get the best of her. Your wedding day should be filled with joy, and I have seen way too many brides sobbing uncontrollably about “ruined weddings”. If you end the day hitched- Congratulations! You’ve totally succeeded!”

callmehobo on “Some Possible Reasons You’re Not Married”: “I had a friend complain to me that she couldn’t find her Mr. Right, so I told her that maybe she should focus on being Ms. Right for a change. She did not like that one bit. I think that the reason why this topic is the subject of so much ire is because a lot of women feel like they need to tie their ego into whether or not they have a relationship. So when you criticize some women’s single status, they also feel like you are criticizing their self worth all together…”

Mainer on Some Possible Reasons You’re Not Married”: “The piece was not a letter written by the author to you. If anything, it was written more as a comical piece than as a professional therapeutic guide to digging you out of singlehood. We need to stop treating these articles as the be-all-end-all of advice, meriting them with absolute truth rather than just an anecdotal account from the author in an attempt to pass along some words of wisdom. I read some of the blog-commentary on this piece and was thinking to myself “why in pluperfect hell was this person even giving this piece a second thought if it so vastly didn’t apply to them?”

Mainer on “I’m Jealous of My Man Magnet Roommate”: “Unfortunately, as a guy, I do not have any advice on girl-to-girl friendships. If I were you, I would just get a nice bubble bath going, light a few candles, relax just the two of you, and…wait. Dammit, I’m so bad at this.”

TheGirl on “How Long Should You Stay in a Relationship After the Sex Has Stopped?”: “Get him to a therapist. Depression for over a year is a serious medical problem and should be treated as such. I think it is more likely that his lack of sex drive is a direct result of depression than a result of petty arguments. […] Write down the names of five therapists, put them in front of him, tell him how worried you are and offer to set up appointments if he doesn’t want to do it himself. If he still doesn’t want to do it (therapy that is, not sex) I’m afraid you’re going to need to MOA. Unfortunately, he is the only one who can help himself. However, if he agrees to get help and you love him, maybe you should just take matters into your own hands until he’s ready again, if ya’ know what I mean…”

TheGirl on “I’m Jealous of My Man Magnet Roommate”: “Chicks before dicks! If these guys are too stupid to realize 1. you are an awesome catch and 2. you are available (unlike your roommate) then they are clearly not worth your effort and it’s good to have that pointed out early. On a side note: perhaps the people you should be pointing the problem out to are the GUYS. I think they should be teased mercilessly. If they are really your friends, pointing out that they are ignoring you when you’re the one they came to see should help put them in their place. You probably still shouldn’t date them, but future girlfriends will thank you!”

WatersEdge on “Should I Take on a Sugar Daddy?”: “Definitely set boundaries in your head of what you’re willing to take from him. I think some good ground rules might be 1) Don’t take anything that you need- tuition, a car, bill payments, etc that keep you at his mercy 2) Don’t take anything over a certain value, maybe $1,000 3) If you start to get a controlling vibe, end the relationship immediately before it gets worse. If he tries to tell you what to do out of the bedroom, or he wants you to do degrading things you’re not comfortable with in the bedroom, definitely end it.”

WatersEdge on “We’ve Broken Up Without Really Breaking Up”: “It’s a red flag to me that he was willing to end the commitment between you two over a single comment/argument. He wasn’t hurt enough to stop spending time with you or to stop telling you that he loves you, so he’s clearly not THAT hurt. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a reason that he wants his “freedom” around now, like interest in another woman that he wants to pursue guilt-free. Whatever it is, it’s safe to say, if he’s willing to act like your boyfriend but he refuses the label, his intentions are not pure. Tell him it’s relationship again or break up for good.”

Best One-liners:

ArtsyGirl on “We’ve Broken Up Without Really Breaking Up”: “Honestly, how is he going to evaluate your worth as a partner if you are willing to take the crumbs of a relationship?”

Elle on Updates: “Crossed Boundaries” Responds: “In my world, the best MIL is the one that’s far, far away, not the one in the guest bedroom.”

10 comments… add one
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    Betsy February 25, 2011, 3:16 pm

    Mainer made me laugh out loud at work with that bubble bath comment…

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  • MissDre February 25, 2011, 4:25 pm

    600 comments! Wendy, do you read every single one?? Or just ones with lots of thumbs up or down? Sheesh girl you are working hard! But we love you for it!

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      Wendy February 25, 2011, 10:24 pm

      Skim all of them and read most of them. And, yes, working hard! 🙂

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  • Red_Lady February 25, 2011, 7:51 pm

    I love this feature! I just don’t have the time to read everything on here, so it’s really nice to see some of the best ones of the week – lots of great laughs! (and some good insight!)

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  • callmehobo February 25, 2011, 9:46 pm

    I’m so touched, Wendy! I literally squealed out loud when I saw my name….

    Thanks for featuring me! (Although Mainer’s bubble bath comment was my absolute favorite!)

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    • TheGirl February 28, 2011, 3:54 pm

      Ha! Me too! I had a little Sally Field moment… it was nice.

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  • Elle February 25, 2011, 11:45 pm

    Thanks for the shout out Wendy. Love the website!!!

    I’ll keep coming back for more for a looooong time!

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  • BeccaAnne February 26, 2011, 10:11 pm

    I have a comment question, if something is voted down a lot does that comment disappear? I saw something that had a bunch of thumbs downs but the actual comment wasn’t there, and there was no “this has been hidden because no one likes it, show?” on it.
    I don’t mind if spam and stuff is taken down, but I kinda like seeing things that get everyone mad.

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      Wendy February 27, 2011, 9:08 am

      A comment needs to be voted down, like, 50 times before it is hidden. And there should be a message saying it’s hidden and that you can “click here” to see it.

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      • BeccaAnne February 27, 2011, 1:43 pm

        hhmm ok. I tried to go back and find it and I couldn’t so maybe I’m crazy…..
        But I like being able to see things even if everyone voted down, so thanks for not just getting rid of them!


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