The Huffington Post recently collected some of their favorite wedding-related ads from Craigslist’s “Best of” section — hmm, would something like that be a fun new feature on DW?? — which include brides looking for “hot” bridesmaids and basically renting a husband for a month to make sure married life doesn’t suck before taking the plunge. Here are a couple of my favorites:
Best Man Needed!:
Ok, so I’m backing out on my cousin last minute, and I before I do it, I need someone lined up to take my place, because I’m not sure that he’ll be able to find someone at such short notice.
Pay is $200+ (negotiable), plus a night in the hotel in question (I’ll sacrafice my room there for the right candidate).
You MUST have comprehensive experience in this position, have a TUX (because the one I have might not fit you), and have transport to and from the locations (to be divulged to selected candidate, but it’s in Holyoke).”
What constitutes “comprehensive experience in this position,” I wonder? And do you think you have to submit a resume and list any special skills you might have?
This gives me the sads:
Searching for bridesmaids:
“So, my fiancee [sic] and I are getting married in June. He has 8 groomsmen lined up and I only have one bridesmaid. So, I need some girls who are attractive and around my age to stand up in my wedding. You can be single or taken. It doesn’t matter…you just have to be hot. But, not hotter then me. Email me for more information. The wedding will be in Madison and you won’t have to pay for a thing. Hope to hear from you!”
And this one is just awesome:
Exchange cockatiel for wedding ring?
“I would like to trade this wonderful pet (cage and all his paraphernalia included) for a wedding ring. The ideal candidate would be a deaf woman who recently broke off her engagement and is looking for a hands-off companion. If you know someone, please pass along this posting.”
Great, now the productive afternoon I had planned is shot to hell as I spend the rest of the day — well, the rest of Jackson’s nap, anyway — scouring Craigslist for more funny ads…
[via Huffington Post]