The heel of my shoe broke off. I almost fell down and broke my neck and all my boyfriend did was laugh at me! I am so angry right now! Plus, I have to spend the whole day walking around with a broken shoe. What’s so funny about that? I never want to see him again. Also when he laughs he sounds like a creepy girl. The Germans call it shadenfreude. I call it MOA! Jerk. — I Broke My Shoe
Dear I Broke My Shoe,
It’s true. I eat too much. In the mornings I eat all of the dry food and at night, when the man serves us canned food, I eat all of mine and most of Simone’s. I eat very fast. I shove my face in the plate and don’t come up for air until it’s all gone. Then I saunter around the apartment and fall asleep wherever I stop. I can’t go on like this. I have to get myself together.
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