Dear Miles: “I Keep Hooking Up with all my Classmates”

Today is my birthday (35, y’all!) so I’m taking the day off to celebrate, enjoy a little R&R and squeeze in a sonogram appointment at my OB’s office. In my absence, Miles, who is handling his new diabetic diet like a champ, by the way, has offered to guest write a few columns. Here’s one of them:

Dear Miles,
I started taking guitar classes. I don’t know why. I’m not normally a spontaneous person but I thought it would be fun. I was right. We all sit around in a group and play the guitar. Then, after class, we go out for beers. So far I’ve made out/had sex with 5 people in the class. I feel so popular. I don’t really have a question, I’m just excited about my guitar class.
— Rhonda

Dear Rhonda,

I’ve been drinking a lot of water lately. More than usual. Sleeping more too. I guess that comes with age (I turned 6 in May). Some days I sit in the window and stare at the people passing each other on the sidewalk.

I can tell it’s gonna rain later. My knee is acting up.

Man, I could go for a cigarette.


  1. David Jay says:

    Dear Rhonda,
    Forget about the guitar… it’s clearly not your true talent.

    1. I think her real talent is the flute. The skin flute, that is.

  2. Don’t start smoking Miles! It’s bad enough that the Man is allergic to you. Do you want to make your dander more mutative with all those carcinogens in the cigarettes?

    Then again, if you were a mutant, you’d probably give a better performance than January Jones did in the last X-men movie….

  3. Miles – please be careful. You may accidentally singe your fur (at best) or burn all your fur (and whiskers) off while smoking. Do you really want to be a burned kitty? (boy, a certain Rodney Carrington song has just popped into my head)

    As for Rhonda – maybe the guitar isn’t your specialty. Maybe being a groupie is. You certainly seem capable of playing the skinflute well. Be careful of callouses on your hands though. Skinflutes can be sensitive to that sort of thing.

  4. fast eddie says:

    Where does this class meet? Don’t want to play the guitar, just join the group for beers…and whatever else goes on. LOL

  5. fast eddie says:

    Happy Birthday Wendy. My wife, Onnie’s 65th is this Friday then in 3 more weeks she’ll retire. With more time on our hands maybe we’ll come by to meet the baby. 🙂 We’d like to go to Canada and meet up with TheOtherMe next summer.

      1. fast eddie says:

        Do you live there also Dre?

      2. Yessir, I’m in Ottawa 🙂

      3. fast eddie says:

        We’ve only visited Canada once on a cruise up the east coast and loved it. That was the only vacation that nobody was constantly in my face trying to sell something, a very welcome difference. Next summer we plan to spend some time on the west side. Several friends have done this and raved about it. Another trip on our bucket list is to take Canada Rail from coast to coast.

  6. makes me wonder if the results would be any different if you took a cooking class instead of guitar lessons.

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