Dear Miles: “I’m in Love With Two People at the Same Time!”

I’m on vacation through May 13th, and in my absence Miles has offered to guest write a couple of columns. Here’s one of them:

Dear Miles,

Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? One man is a good friend and, to my delight, our friendship has blossomed into a wonderful romantic relationship. I cherish every moment we spend together. He is thoughtful, funny and has a kind heart. The other man is my eye doctor. I don’t want to hurt either of them and I’m afraid I’ll only end up hurting both. Should I just MOA and start over with someone new? — Double trouble

Dear Double Trouble,

Most nights I sleep at the end of the bed. It gives me a clear view of the whole apartment. Sometimes I get up, sit by Wendy’s pillow and stare directly at the wall. I do this for reasons of my own.

*If you have a relationship/dating question Miles can help answer, send him your letters at


  1. SpaceySteph says:

    Go for the eye doctor! Do it for the $$$. The more money he makes, the more kitty food you can buy!

  2. Addie Pray says:

    LW didn’t have much to say about the eye doctor, except that he’s an eye doctor, so I’m guessing the only appeal there is, well, he is an eye doctor. Or maybe he has other qualities, but the LW thinks “eye doctor” is enough to compete with a wonderful friend-turned-lover with a kind heart (who must be dirt poor btw, since LW didn’t mention his job). I say you let the nice guy go to someone who will appreciate him fully even though he’s not, well, an eye doctor. If the eye doctor is also a nice guy, then I say let them both go.

    But between you and me, I can’t stand eye doctors. (Sorry to the eye doctors out there!) Is it just me? They are always so chatty. And they always try to get me to pay for those extra tests I really don’t want or need… I say go find a dermatologist to date – think of all the free skin care samples!

    1. TheOtherMe says:

      I don’t mind eye doctors but I’m definitely an anti-dentite 😉

      1. BoomChakaLaka says:

        1 point for the Seinfeld reference! I’m just getting into Seinfeld and I’m loving it. I just saw the Elaine dance episode and I still cannot stop cracking up!

    2. ReginaRey says:

      Ugh and eye doctors blow that horrid puff of air in your eye that makes you spazz out and twitch uncontrollably! What about a plastic surgeon?? Think of all the free lipo you could score!! 😉

      1. honeybeenicki says:

        I avoided the eye doctor for a long time to avoid that awful puff of air, but now my eye doctor uses some new thing with a really bright blue light. They use these yellow eyedrops to numb your eyes, you stare into the blue light and they use this machine to like poke your eye (you don’t feel it) to test the pressure just like the puff of air does. It was much better!

        And I agree… I’d go for a plastic surgeon. Free lipo plus they tend to make a decent chunk of money 🙂

      2. sweetleaf says:

        Aw, hell naw. I ain’t lettin’ no body stab my eye balls!!

      3. honeybeenicki says:

        Haha that’s what everyone says but I definitely liked it A LOT more than the puff. But, the eyedrops they used to numb my eyes also made me really sick for a few hours.

      4. Aaaaaaah the terrible blue light!!!!! And the scratchy gummy feeling your eyes have after the numbing drops have been put in. And the “don’t blink just now, this lens is touching your eyeball” arghaaharhalarhghggg must stop thinking about it, eyes already starting to water.

      5. Christina says:

        My boyfriend got the dye in the eye last time. He has light brown eyes and the dye turned them green like The Incredible Hulk. We took pictures.

      6. TheOtherMe says:

        please stop !! I’m due for an eye exam soon & if I keep reading all your comments I’m pretty sure I’ll back out !!

      7. fallonthecity says:

        I was so confused about the puff of air until I read the other comments! My doctor has always used that blue light thing. It doesn’t bother me — but I’ve worn contacts all my life until I recently had LASEK, so I guess not much about people messing with my eyeballs does bother me…. !

    3. fast eddie says:

      I love my eye doctor and can’t thank him enough for saving my vision. Dermatologists are a good lot as well but some are much better then others and they only work 2 or 3 days a week so they have more free time to play with kitties.

    4. Dermatologist make boatloads of money too!!! Seriously, they’re one of the highest paid medical professions.

  3. BoomChakaLaka says:

    I think she’s comparing apples to oranges. What is the occupation of the good man friend? What are the personality traits of the eye doctor? Once we have that information, I think we can help you out LW.

    That said, I always feel like it would be impossible for me to be in love with two people. I guess I’m a diehard monogomist, but having one relationship is enough. And when I love, I love all the way. And yes, I am very intrigued at how polyamorous relationships exist because I’d be a total fail at it.

    1. BoomChakaLaka says:

      Oh and sorry for assuming that the LW was a woman. Could definitely be a guy.

      1. Anne (I Go To 11) says:

        Or a cat.

  4. Dear LW,

    I love both wet food and dry food. They are both delicious. I guess the question you need to ask yourself is, are both your Peoples delicious? If so, then have both. If not, stick with what’s tasty. Got any food?


    1. honeybeenicki says:

      Dear Mischief,
      I prefer the wet food because it makes my person get up and open the can. And then instead of waiting patiently, I butt my nose in, paw at the can, try to trip her, and pretty much do everything else to annoy my human because I’m pretty sure the food tastes better when she is using those naughty words.

      Oh look, a butterfly.
      With indifference,
      Ares and Rayne (honeybeenicki’s feline owners)

      1. fast eddie says:

        Wait a minute you allow your humans to claim they own you? That’s just so completely wrong. Letting it continue will result in chaos, mark my words. NOT THAT KIND OF MARK! You silly kitty.

        Cuddles, Lilly Pad, Little Bit and the babies

      2. honeybeenicki says:

        Well, I think she understands that we are in charge. And in case she forgets, we make sure we wake her up at 1am and beg for food. Even though we have 3 full bowls in various parts of the house plus some of the wet food left over from before she went to bed. We have to keep her in line somehow. And if all else fails, we sleep on her face.

        Ares and Rayne

      3. fast eddie says:

        Very good my dear, we can’t let up on them. Nobody promised that raising people was an easy job. I must admit that they come in handy for opening the cans and such. We bring them little tokens of appreciation and no butterflies dare approach our domicile. Out here in the county we have to be continually vigilant with a never end assault of gophers, moles, lizards, birds (avian sushi) and snakes. We’re considering getting a dog to help with possums, racoons and deer, but then we’d be neglecting our responsibilities as lap warmers and that could lead to all manner of indignities like sharing the big bed and food. Oh the horror of it all.

        The Herd

      4. Always remember, dogs have owners, cats have staff.

  5. silver_dragon_girl says:


    1. callmehobo says:

      YES. The Thanksgiving episode where she has to wear the eye patch!

    2. Quakergirl says:

      YES. I am so glad I’m not the only one who thought this. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who hears Friends references in my head several times a day.

      1. silver_dragon_girl says:

        Definitely not. I can relate almost any situation to a Friends episode. 🙂

    3. Remember when Chandler was being a total bafoon -trying to throw her off the fact that he was getting ready to propose – and then Richard showed up out of the blue and said he missed her and wanted to marry her?

      That was my first thought when I read this.

      1. princesspetticoat says:

        Exactly!!! That was my first thought!

  6. spaceboy761 says:

    I would stick with your friend-turned-romance because sex with eye doctors can get really annoying:

    “Better like this or better or this? OK… better like this or better like this?”

    1. Spaceboy, you are a treasure. Never change.

    2. TheOtherMe says:

      “Better like this or better or this? OK… better like this or better like this?”

      sometime those are VERY, very good words …

      1. Addie Pray says:


    3. silver_dragon_girl says:


    4. Addie Pray says:

      Good point, Spaceboy!

  7. “it’s just/a little crush”

    1. SpyGlassez says:

      Thank you, senior prom, for sneaking up to play this song in my head when I wasn’t looking. 😀

  8. Meaghan Self says:

    Can’t trust a man who stabs people in the eye for a living.

  9. Go with the guy with the bigger… ahem.. what’s that word… starts with p…


  10. A doctor is always appealing, but I would always advise against someone dating THEIR doctor (or mechanic, or whatever). If things go south, you have to get a new one. That’s a pain in the arse.

    Also, my cat will sometimes stare intently at the exact same upper-corner of my bedroom, but he only does this real late at night and when I’m tucked in and reading. It makes me think there’s something there he can see but I can’t. He won’t respond to his name or lovin’ when he’s doing this. I try to remind myself he’s a cat and cats are naturally insane. But still. Creepy.

    1. SpaceySteph says:

      Yup its obviously the ghost of kitties past up there. Don’t worry, they’re friendly. Although they do scratch furniture when you’re not looking.

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