Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Dear Wendy Turns Eight!

Today is this site’s eighth birthday! If she were a human, she’d be in second grade, would probably be reading chapter books, and would be mastering the art of negotiation (“If I finish all my homework, can I have 15 minutes of screen time before bed?”). But she is not a human; she is a website and a community, a passion project for me, and maybe a way to help you get through a work day, decompress in the evenings, or crowd source for advice and tips on everything from engagement rings to where to get the best pizza on a weekend trip to Chicago. Thank you so much for being part of this little experiment that I hope continues for a long time. Thank you for helping to financially support it with your page views, your monthly donations and your affiliate purchases, and thank you for the emotional support you’ve given me and each other over the years. Below are some favorite posts (mine, yours, Google search engine’s) since 2011. If you have a favorite post or memory not included below, feel free to share in the comments.

On Dating, in general:

A Dating Tip I Disagree With
Dating Tip: Try Going Against Type
10 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Dating Life and Relationships

On Happiness, in general

Write the Happiest Story You Can in Four Words
“Isn’t Life Boring and Lonely Without a Relationship?”
“I’m So Unhappy in My Marriage” Or: A Guide on How to Be Happy

On Long Distance Relationships

“In a Long Distance Relationship, Who Should Be The One to Move?”
“I’m Overwhelmed in a LDR”
Updates: “Overwhelmed in a LDR” Responds
8 Tips For Transitioning out of a Long Distance Relationship
15 Tips for Surviving a Long Distance Relationship
8 Things You Need to Do Before You Move For Love
From the Mailbag: “I’m Going to Move for Love, Despite Your Advice Not To”

On Breakups:

Lessons From Divorce
“When Do You Know It’s Time to Break Up With Someone?”
Your Turn: “How Can I Get Over my First Broken Heart?”
20 Tips for Surviving a Breakup
10 Ways To Move On From a Breakup
My Best Breakup Lesson
What Lessons Have You Learned From Your Breakups?

On Moving in Together:

What We Wish We’d Known Before Moving In Together
15 Things Couples Should Do Before Moving in Together

On Friendship:

Showing Up: The Single Most Important Thing A Friend Can Do
How to Make Friends After College
“Should I MOA From This Friendship?”
Is Facebook Ruining Friendships?

On Weddings:

Your Turn: “His Family Ate All Our Reception Food… Before the Wedding!”
“My In-Laws Never Gave us a Wedding Gift”
“Did My Friend Just Ask Me to Not Be Her Bridesmaid Anymore?”
“I Refuse to Pay for My Daughter’s Wedding to Her Horrible Fiancé”
My Fiancé’s Groomsman Has No Teeth!
“Should I ask Wedding Guests Why I Haven’t Received a Gift From Them?”
“Being a Bridesmaid is Breaking My Budget!”

On Marriage:

17 Things Every Couple MUST Discuss Before Getting Married
8 Secrets for a Happy Marriage
The Six Things You Need for a Happy, Longterm Relationship

On feminism and marriage:

Getting Personal: “I’m Conflicted About Being a Feminist and a Wife”
“He Wants Me To Take His Name, But I Want to Keep Mine”

On Motherhood:

“How Do You Know When You’re Ready To Have Kids?”
20 Things Everyone Should Do Before Having Kids
My Toddler Doesn’t Like Me And Other Depressing Confessions
“When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work”
The Joy is Louder Too
“Will I Lose All My Friends When I Have Kids?”
To Have or To Not to Have Another Baby, That is the Question

On miscarriage and infertility:

“Everyone’s Getting Pregnant But Me!”
It’s Personal: My Chemical Pregnancy
“After My Miscarriages, My Friend Abandoned Me When She Got Pregnant”
Getting Personal: “After My Miscarriage, A Dog Saved My Life”
“Should I Tell My FWB About My Miscarriage?”
“How Should I Tell My Infertile Sister I’m Planning to Get Pregnant?”
“I’m Jealous of My Sister’s Pregnancy”

On choosing to be childfree:

Getting Personal: “Children Aren’t for Me”
“My Parents Keep Bugging Me About Having Kids”
“He Wants Kids But I Don’t. Can We Still Date?”
The Secret To Happy Relationships: Don’t Have Kids?
“How Do I Find Meaning in Life Without a Wife and Kids?”

On Grief

On Grief (and messages from beyond)
Women Discuss: How to Express Condolences (And Why It’s So Important!)

A guy’s perspective:

How I Get A Girl to Break Up With Me
His Take: “I’m a 28-Year-Old Virgin. Does That Scare Guys Off?”
His Take: “What Do Guys Think About First-Date Sex?”

24 comments… add one
  • Ruby Tuesday January 24, 2019, 2:31 pm

    I don’t remember how I originally found Dear Wendy, but I remember spending hours during my DOJ internship reading every column in your archives. I love your refreshing, modern day woman advice and that you’ve built such a great community of different, distinct voices. Here’s to another eight years!

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    othy January 24, 2019, 5:27 pm

    Happy birthday!

    My favorite article is already on this list – the one about being a good friend by just showing up.

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  • anonymousse January 24, 2019, 5:52 pm

    Happy Birthday, Dear Wendy!
    ##Anything can happen!!!!##

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    • Kate January 24, 2019, 5:56 pm

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      • JD January 24, 2019, 6:10 pm

        HOW have i never seen this. I’m 11 pages in, obviously skimming. I really want Sarah back ? We need an update for sure. Well I was annoyed my weekend plans were cancelled but I think it’s time to pop some corn and charge up the laptop. M

      • anonymousse January 24, 2019, 8:07 pm

        Ha ha, pure internet gold. I know it’s probably overdone, but I love a good train wreck roundup.

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      TaraMonster January 24, 2019, 6:04 pm

      OMG yeah that’s a hall-of-famer && I have no idea why it was left off, but I guess ##any shit can happen!!##

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      • anonymousse January 24, 2019, 8:08 pm

        ?that was the best iteration!

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      TaraMonster January 24, 2019, 6:05 pm

      && Happy birthday, DW!!

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  • Hazel January 24, 2019, 6:08 pm

    you are so young and yet so perfectly formed!! Levity aside, this is a great forum .Sharp and mostly honest, It’s a great thing that you do. Happy anniversary. XZ

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  • JD January 24, 2019, 6:12 pm

    My husband says we are all mean girls on here ? I’ve never attempted to present myself as nice anyway so I’m ok with that. What he really means as it’s one of the only columns I’ve ever found that will give it to you straight. Most constantly coddle. In my opinion the number one reason this is the best! Happy 8th birthday, time to go throw a baseball at someone.

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    • anonymousse January 24, 2019, 8:09 pm

      Omg, i actually LOL’d at the baseball reference.

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      • Kate January 24, 2019, 8:14 pm

        Throw a baseball at an ass, choke on a dick…

      • JD January 24, 2019, 8:38 pm

        I was showing my husband the choke on a dick stuff and he reminded me of the time I threw up on him. ???

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    CurlyQue January 24, 2019, 7:01 pm

    Congratulations and Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!

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  • ktfran January 24, 2019, 10:10 pm

    Happy 8th anniversary! I’ve read this site since the beginning and started commenting a couple years in. It’s such a safe, wonderful space. I appreacite you Wendy and what you’ve done. Keep fighting the good fight

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  • keyblade January 24, 2019, 10:35 pm

    Happy 8th Birthday, website. Thank you Dear Wendy, for all the time and attention you put into your passion project, I’ve genuinely enjoyed this part of the internet.

    Cheers to the story-tellers, performers, catharsis-actors, sidelights, and weirdos. You do keep it “real”. I find it uncomfortable enough to be compelling and I love the soap-box. Thanks- who knew?

    P.S. an extra special shout-out to Bitter Gay Mark. Bitter Gay Mark my words, you legitimately have made me think. Cheerio.

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    Addie Pray January 25, 2019, 12:31 am

    HBD, DW! Miss you all!

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    Bittergaymark January 25, 2019, 2:55 am

    Damn. Time flies! WHOOOOSH!
    Happy Birthday, Dear Wendy!!

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    Dear Wendy January 25, 2019, 7:22 am

    Thanks, you guys!!

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  • LisforLeslie January 25, 2019, 8:09 am

    Super Impressive! Congrats and Happy B-Day!

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  • napoleon1066 January 25, 2019, 10:09 am

    Happy 8th birthday!

    I’ve been lurking (with the very occasional comment) for this whole time. I’d just like to say this site is fantastic. You have a wonderful community of commenters, and Wendy, your writing and advice is just so heartfelt, honest, and brilliant.


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  • Rangerchic January 25, 2019, 3:46 pm

    Time does fly…8 years already! Congrats 🙂

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