Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Dear Wendy’s All-Time Most Popular Wedding Columns

wedding 4When I started this site over five years ago, I had no idea that weddings would prove to be such a controversial and emotionally-charged topic. But over the last few years, I have received more wedding-related letters than on any other topic. In honor of Wedding Week Day here on Dear Wendy, here is a round-up of the site’s all-time most popular wedding columns. (I know at least a few will spark a trip down memory lane…)


Updates: “Not Invited to the Wedding” Responds
We hear from the LW who wasn’t invited to her boyfriend’s daughter’s wedding despite having lived with her boyfriend for two years. “The wedding is this weekend and I haven’t even decided if I should bother with the long car trip there and back since I don’t know if I’ll be ignored.” Find out whether she decided to make the long car trip or not to the wedding she wasn’t invited to.

Your Turn: “His Family Ate All Our Reception Food… Before the Wedding!”
“Everyone came to our wedding from out of state and several family members stayed in our home. Three days before the wedding, his entire family of twenty-two people took over our place and helped themselves to our food, including all of our clearly-marked wedding reception food in the basement — cheese, cupcakes, crackers and all the food for the BBQ, including eighty hotdogs and fifty-four hamburgers and all our beer. They ate everything.”

“My In-Laws Never Gave us a Wedding Gift”
The LW wondered whether she should come out and ask her brand new in-laws where the hell their wedding gift was.

Shortcuts: “Can I Ask for Plus One to My Cousin’s Wedding?”
Oh, remember the old DW commenters who would get real riled up over anything wedding-related. If not, then enjoy this trip down memory lane.

“Do We Have to Invite Plus Ones To Our Wedding?”
This woman wanted to know whether she really HAD to invite spouses even though she’d never met them. Doing so would make the guest list almost twice as long! And, literally, there just was NO space in the venue for all these extras.

“Did My Friend Just Ask Me to Not Be Her Bridesmaid Anymore?”
The LW here is a friend of a friend and I ran into her recently. She didn’t go to the wedding. Also, her baby is super cute.

“Our Wedding is Days Away and He Can’t Stop Texting His Ex”
I wonder if this LW canceled the wedding. I hope she did.

“People Won’t Stop Posting About My Wedding on Facebook!”
This LW was annoyed that friends were posting pictures of her wedding invitation on Facebook and Instagram, worrying that unexpected/uninvited guests would see the pictures and show up at the wedding.

“I’m Pissed that My Boyfriend is Going to a Wedding Without Me”
This is what happens when you don’t include “plus-ones.”

“I Refuse to Pay for My Daughter’s Wedding to Her Horrible Fiancé”
The LW presented her daughter and the daughter’s fiancé with a symbolic check for $5,000, to which the fiancé sneered, “Ha, I could save that much in a year, what with my bonuses.” What followed was more insults and nasty behavior.

My Fiancé’s Groomsman Has No Teeth!
Never forget!

“Should I ask Wedding Guests Why I Haven’t Received a Gift From Them?”
You know, probably not…

“My Friends Are Already Bailing on My Non-Traditional Wedding Celebration”
Reading this letter, many commenters wondered: Is it a wedding celebration if the wedding was three months earlier and none of the guests were invited?

“I Don’t Want Kids at My Destination Wedding”
The LW updated us here.

“She Wants to Bring a Baby to Our Wedding”
Not only did she want to bring her newborn baby to a wedding that was supposed to be kid-free, but she also wanted him to be a ring bearer to boot because, you know, it’s all about her.

“Being a Bridesmaid is Breaking My Budget!”
That shit’s expensive.

“Should I Tell My Friend Why I Don’t Want Her in My Wedding?”
I’d be surprised if these two are still on speaking terms.

17 comments… add one
  • bondgirl May 24, 2016, 1:40 pm

    The first two are by far my favorite. More class than anyone can handle!

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    Addie Pray May 24, 2016, 2:29 pm

    Aww, memories!

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  • suzyinthesky May 24, 2016, 2:39 pm

    “His Family Ate All Our Reception Food… Before the Wedding!” is possibly my favourite ever. Ha ha, I haven’t even re-read it now and I’m laughing out loud while ignoring my MIL who is being rude and annoying. ha ha ha ha ha!

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    Kate B. May 24, 2016, 2:47 pm

    After reading one of these (I can’t remember which) I wrote an open letter on Facebook to all my married friends thanking them for not being batshit crazy.

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    • bondgirl May 24, 2016, 2:49 pm

      THIS made me laugh out loud!!!!

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        Kate B. May 24, 2016, 3:16 pm

        At least not about their weddings. 😉

  • Daisy May 24, 2016, 3:41 pm

    Groomsman with no teeth FTW! My favorite DW column of all time.

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      Addie Pray May 24, 2016, 3:57 pm

      Agreed. It’s a shame we’ve never been given an update. Wendy, can you email the letter writers directly for an update?

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        Dear Wendy May 24, 2016, 5:38 pm

        I do that in batches every couple of months. Sometimes the only update I get is to fuck off.

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        Addie Pray May 24, 2016, 6:02 pm

        Oy. And unfortunately, the updates I really want are about letters where we tended to side with the “other” person (i.e., not the letter writer) – I’m thinking about whoever wrote about the toothless groomsman and Ramona, the pantless wino superhero.

      • em May 25, 2016, 11:55 am

        Ramona seems to have been on this site before my time; could you direct me to this letter? (read all the links above , I think, and didn’t notice a pantless Ramona)

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        Dear Wendy May 25, 2016, 12:25 pm

      • em May 25, 2016, 1:20 pm


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        Addie Pray May 25, 2016, 2:40 pm

        Aw sweet now I can re-read all the Ramona posts and NOT review this credit and security agreement…. So much more fun than a credit and security agreement.

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    mrmidtwenties May 25, 2016, 10:39 am

    After strolling down memory lane here, “Not invited to the wedding has to be one of my favourites of all time.” I just love when shitty people fight back.

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  • bondbabe May 25, 2016, 2:35 pm

    I so want an update to LW #10 (Denise), the MOTB who offered the $5,000 check, and see how that all turned out and if, indeed, her daughter did marry the A$$hat.

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    • Bondgirl May 26, 2016, 10:53 am

      I really hope she didn’t.

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