Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Do You Have a Sex Playlist?

A couple of researchers recently surveyed college students to see what songs they listen to when they’re gettin’ busy. The discovered that these three songs were top on college kids’ sex playlists: “Hella Good” by No Doubt; “Psychotic Girl” by The Black Keys; and “Rude Boy” by Rihanna. No Doubt? Really? Do kids still listen to them? Mmmkay. The Black Keys song I can get behind. Rihanna’s a little played out.

So, do you have a sex playlist? Or, songs that get you in the mood? I’m a married 35-year-old, so sex playlists aren’t really on my agenda anymore (although, maybe they should be?), but there are definitely songs that make me feel sexy, including: “Icarus” by White Hinterland, “The Greatest” by Cat Power, “Maps” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and “Fade into You” by Mazzy Star.

What are yours?

81 comments… add one
  • Kerrycontrary September 21, 2011, 12:17 pm

    Haha I actually did have one in college! I think it included a lot of sublime. Wow that just brought up some memories!

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  • GatorGirl September 21, 2011, 12:22 pm

    No Doubt? Not my idea of sexy time! In college it the background noise was usually what ever was on tv…my boyfriend at the time got an F- in romance.

    Now a days i like to have a glass of wine (or three) and dance around to things like Lil Wayne and Usher (per the BF’s request I can’t stand him) to get in the mood. We don’t have tv or radio in the bedroom. We like it that way, less disractions.

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    BecBoo84 September 21, 2011, 12:27 pm

    Not sure if this counts, but we still have the mixed CD I made for him on his first birthday that we were together, which was a few months after we started dating. We sometimes listen to it if we’re going for extra romance. It has a combo of some sweet, romantic stuff on it, and then some other stuff that we just really liked at the time.

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  • lets_be_honest September 21, 2011, 12:30 pm

    The Greatest IS the greatest song ever. During one of my many massive (usually 24 hour) crushes, I was head over heels for this guy, just thinking about him now makes me all squishy and warm. He made me a mix cd, which drove me from little crush to over-the-top in love with you crush. I didn’t even think he was interested in me, so it was so exciting to get the cd. So he gives it to me as I’m leaving his place one night, plants a quick kiss on me that made my face melt and hands me the cd. I run to my car in the rain, pop the cd in and thats the first song on it. I listened to that on repeat for like a month. Oh to be young.
    Thanks for listening.
    Also, I don’t have a sex playlist, but all I could come up with is Barry White, haha.

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    Betsy September 21, 2011, 12:32 pm

    “I’ll play your favorite song, darlin’. We can rock it all night long, darlin'” Some slow and smooth Marley always gets me groovin’. Oh, and Portishead with Beth Gibbons’ sultry voice…

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  • lk September 21, 2011, 12:35 pm

    I’m an album person more than a playlist person…

    Dummy by Portishead is a classic : )))

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    • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 1:09 pm

      I’ve always thought of Portishead as “breakup” music… and Hooverphonic as “love triangle” music !!

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      • sarita_f September 21, 2011, 2:06 pm

        Who. I haven’t even THOUGHT of Hooverphonic in ages, off to Spotify I go! Thanks, TheOtherMe!

      • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 5:01 pm

        You’re welcome Sarita_f ! Just watch out for those love triangles !

    • Rachel September 21, 2011, 1:48 pm

      Funny, I actually like to work to Portishead.

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      Pankakes September 21, 2011, 2:38 pm

      Portishead IS sex.

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  • amber September 21, 2011, 12:36 pm

    we don’t really have one. sometimes we play some mixed cds my husband has made but usually nothing.

    also fade into you is one of my favorite songs ever. love it.

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    Budjer September 21, 2011, 12:38 pm

    If I had a use for one then maybe…but even then probably not. I prefer to make my own “music”…(not a masterbation reference)…

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  • silver_dragon_girl September 21, 2011, 12:38 pm

    Ha, definitely no for me. I’d probably get distracted and start commenting on the music, or singing along or something. But then, I’m not much for conventional romance, except maybe candles.

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      Budjer September 21, 2011, 12:58 pm

      haha i agree…I feel like if you are focused on the music you aren’t focused enough…any sounds not involved in the act become washed out background noise for me anyways.

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    • lk September 21, 2011, 1:29 pm

      Somebody once was playing Fugees, The Score (ok, ok, I might have randomly had it in my purse & asked him to play it…)………

      & mid-“romp,” I *HAD* to say, “I can do what you do, EASY,” along with Lauryn Hill. It was……….awesome?

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    bittergaymark September 21, 2011, 12:40 pm

    It’s cheesy and soooooooo gay, but back in the early 1990s Erotica by Madonna was an awesome song to seduce a frat boy with… That, and the MTV banned Justify My Love video, which was nifty, quick and easy way to get invited up to a questionable guy’s room in the frat house. That clip came up A LOT for a month or two as it really was BIG news, hell, it even was on Nightline… “Have you seen that new Madonna video?” “No….” I always played dumb as then their next line would surely be… “I have a copy up in my room…” “Really? Cool, I’d love to check it out.”

    All that aside… Madonna songs were/are great to have sex with. Hell, it then became a great three-way… πŸ˜‰ That’s really the main difference between Gaga and Madonna. Madonna was always so damn sexy… Her videos were simply stunning to look at. Gaga’s clips are cold and bland. The make sex look brutal and scary. Plus, let’s face it. She is no Madonna in the looks department. She has a lot less to work with.

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  • 6napkinburger September 21, 2011, 12:59 pm

    In college: Guster, Counting Crows, Ben Folds, whoever sings “he is everything you are, he is everything you need, he is everything inside of you that you wish you could be…”

    6 months ago: Sinatra to set the mood (dancing around the apt NOT optional)then usually, depending on the level of romance/lust, either the R&B music TV channel (yay spending too much on cable), or pandora love song channel

    Not-so-distant future: getting excited to go out: “Down” by Jay Sean. (If you ever want to get pumped up, this is the song. And the album is pretty good too.)

    As a total aside: I went to the company gym last night! Who’s proud of me? I am!

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      Budjer September 21, 2011, 1:00 pm

      Vertical Horizon.

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      • 6napkinburger September 21, 2011, 2:00 pm

        I love that vertical horizon is proud of me!

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        Budjer September 21, 2011, 2:10 pm

        HA…sorry…e-high five…I was responding to the lyrics.

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        Elizabeth September 21, 2011, 2:30 pm

        oh god, vertical horizon. yeah, i’m pretty sure they played at our school when they were on the down and outs.

        Love the guster reference. Guster is ALWAYS good for everything. Every New Year’s Day, when I go out for my run, i play a guster mix.

      • GingerLaine September 21, 2011, 2:09 pm

        I saw them live at a Tower Records. Yes, all of that exchange made me feel old.

  • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 1:02 pm

    Soma Sonic & Stolen Identity are my top playlists but also :

    Buddah Bar
    Cafe Del Mar
    Emiliana Torrini

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    • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 1:03 pm

      Ohhh….. Also The XX.

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        Wendy September 21, 2011, 1:08 pm

        Oh yeah, Crystalised is a good one for the list.

      • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 1:12 pm

        Yes !
        (I am not joking if I don’t hear them every day, I get XX separation anxiety !)

  • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 1:06 pm

    Did I miss the memo saying that the email notifications have been removed ?

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  • Emma September 21, 2011, 1:10 pm

    I tried having a sex playlist once, but I kept getting distracted; I have a natural urge to at least mouth the lyrics of a song if it’s playing, and the rhythm of our bodies kept getting off from the music. We decided music during sex wasn’t our thing.

    But I do have quite a few songs that get me in the mood. Prince, Shakira, Scissor Sisters and the Rolling Stones have a few songs that do it for me. “Sex and Candy” is good for that (although, it’s my second least-favorite Marcy Playground song), and, as much as I hate to admit it, Nirvana. Oh, and “Today” by the Smashing Pumpkins. And Muse… and…

    Music is a real aphrodisiac for me, more than porn or anything else (even chocolate). I think it has something to do with my liking to dance.

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    • 6napkinburger September 21, 2011, 1:13 pm

      I soo am the other way. Its like I have no rhythm at all, but put some good r&b music in the background with an easy rhythm to follow… everything just goes better.

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  • iseeshiny September 21, 2011, 1:17 pm

    this is pretty cliche,but nine inch nails. Most of the stuff on pretty hate machine and the downward spiral is,like,designed to make you feel dirty. And full of self loathing,but still. Just don’t listen too closely to the lyrics.

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    • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 1:19 pm

      Hmmm… “hurt” is a good one

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    • SGMcG September 21, 2011, 1:32 pm

      The lyrics for “Closer” alone can get pretty hot. I don’t know if NiN would be on everyone’s playlist. Yet “Closer” should be on everyone’s instruction manual on how to do hot angry sex.

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  • SGMcG September 21, 2011, 1:17 pm

    The song “Lick It” by that techno group 20 Fingers was a standard “seduce him at the bar” song for me when I was in college. Was it on the sex playlist? No – most of the guys I were involved with would get too distracted with the act to care about the music.

    One notable exception: a guy I hooked up with had an AWESOME sex playlist spanning 2 different CD burns. I think he actually gave it to the women he had stands with as a thank you present. It had some really good songs on it with awesome artists – some notable ones I can remember off the top of my head include:

    Portishead – Just Wanna Be A Woman
    Digable Planets – Cool Like That
    Sigur Ros – (don’t ask me to try and remember the Icelandic Titles)
    Hooverphonic – Club Montepulciano

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  • Meaghan September 21, 2011, 1:20 pm

    We use Pandora; Kings of Leon channel for romantic time, and Avenged Sevenfold or Halestorm for the rest ;]

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  • Bossy Italian Wife September 21, 2011, 1:57 pm

    At one point, probably about 6 years into my relationship with my husband, I made several “sexy time” playlists. They had songs like “let’s get it on” by Marvin Gaye, “Wang Dang Doodle” by The Grateful Dead, and “Crimson and Clover” by Tommy and the Shondells.

    Later on, my husband ended up getting a record player and became seriously obsessed with records. He bought a porno-music record, and we played it during sex, but I just couldn’t stop laughing. Ah, good times.

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    CatsMeow September 21, 2011, 2:10 pm

    This is tough. I guess it depends on what type of sex you wanna have –romantic lovey-dovey, or kinky/dirty, or whatever. That said, here are a few of my favs:

    Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs (good one, Wendy πŸ™‚
    D’yer Maker by Led Zeppelin (Zep gets me in the mood in general – is that weird?)
    Lover I Don’t Have to Love by Bright Eyes
    Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
    Lovesong by The Cure
    that one song by The Knife… you know the one?
    Maybe I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney
    La La Love You by The Pixies
    some Sam Cooke stuff

    It appears that most of mine are lovey-dovey, eh? How about What’s Your Fantasy (the REMIX) by Ludacris? THAT’s romance, huh? πŸ˜‰

    But I just like to get into the rhythm of whatever is playing. It’s funny how much it can influence us.

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    • lets_be_honest September 21, 2011, 2:12 pm

      Dyer Maker, great! I might steal your whole sex playlist.

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      Budjer September 21, 2011, 2:16 pm

      love song…I think i would get bored with sex if I listened to that one during…haha.

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      • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 2:24 pm

        Depends on the kind of sex, the whole Disintegration CD was a pretty good playlist at the time

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    Wendy September 21, 2011, 1:14 pm

    Oh, and I forgot Sade “By Your Side.” Hot.

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    • SGMcG September 21, 2011, 1:27 pm

      ANYTHING Sade is automatically sexy. “Smooth Operator” and “No Ordinary Love” should be sex playlist standards. Bluesy saxophone solos by defaul are hot.

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      • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 1:38 pm

        Also “Dido”

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        Budjer September 21, 2011, 1:41 pm

        I like my Dido with a side of eminem…

      • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 1:46 pm

        Badly Drawn Boy

      • Bossy Italian Wife September 21, 2011, 1:58 pm

        I had a Dido CD in high school, and my boyfriend (at the time) and I loved to dry hump to it. Dido really had that allure… lol

      • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 2:07 pm

        I forgot MOBY ….

  • eelizg23 September 21, 2011, 2:48 pm

    Band of Horses.

    I can’t listen to Band of Horses anymore.

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    Pankakes September 21, 2011, 2:49 pm

    We just recently started incorporating music into our lovin’ just to see if we liked it. I know *I* do, I think hubby doesn’t have much of an opinion either way. I’m a very environmentally-influenced person, so if there’s just dead silence in the background, or the dog scratching himself or the dryer running or something, it pulls me out of the moment.
    Hubby usually puts on Pandora, but he’s not a paid subscriber and nothing kills the mood like ads! I have a playlist on my Xoom that I’ve been slowly building up. The last time we used it, all went well until some very poorly-timed Iron & Wine. The song, “Flightless Bird American Mouth,” is very soft and gentle, and I included it for when we’re feeling more lovey-dovey than poundy-poundy, but it started playing during a very poundy-poundy climax. Made me laugh. Guess I should have a separate list for the lovey-dovey stuff.
    As to preferences for sexy music… Portishead, Zero 7, Morcheeba, Bonobo, Massive Attack, Boards of Canada would be some of my favorites. Relaxing background music. There’s also a song called “Seduce Me” by Gerd (look it up on YouTube) that I just love, but I don’t own a copy of it.

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    • PondLily September 21, 2011, 2:53 pm

      Love love love your music choices. Can’t go wrong with Zero 7 or Massive Attack, and my husband is a HUGE Boards of Canada fan.

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        Pankakes September 21, 2011, 4:51 pm

        Thanks! “Julie and Candy” off of Geogaddi is my usual go-to for Boards of Canada. Zero 7… anything from The Garden album. Air, that’s easy, they have a whole album called Love. And I have the entire Massive Attack discography to choose from. πŸ™‚

    • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 2:55 pm

      I love your choices for sexy-time, I’ve never met anyone else in life that knew Bonobo…many thumbs up for that !

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        Pankakes September 21, 2011, 4:43 pm

        πŸ˜€ I just discovered Bonobo recently. The whole Black Sands album just blows me away on every listen.

    • Britannia September 21, 2011, 2:56 pm

      I always play Boards of Canada when my friends and I drive up Mt. Lemmon (in Tucson) to go hang out for the day! It’s so serene, and makes us feel closer to nature…

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  • Britannia September 21, 2011, 2:55 pm

    Yeah, I do. My boyfriend and I prefer to put on an episode of Tiesto’s “Club Life” radio show… it has good beats πŸ™‚

    Also, I have a “Party” playlist on my iPod, but that’s mostly rap and stuff because I go to parties that are more about beer and hooking up than… like… idk… pictionary? I’m not going to put the list up because I don’t think anyone would be interested. If you are, though, lmk and I’ll post.

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  • Britannia September 21, 2011, 2:59 pm

    Oh and also… I know this might be a little bit bad to say… but before my current boyfriend, I used to love to get it on while dubstep or drum&bass was playing.

    Examples: Bassnectar, Pendulum, Chrispy, etc…

    And a good pair of woofies was needed, of course, but that deep bass really makes for an interesting mattress session πŸ˜‰

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      Pankakes September 21, 2011, 4:46 pm

      My hubby LOVES dubstep. I’m frankly a little burned out on it because he’s been listening to it nonstop for months now, but I will say Pantyraid is pretty awesome sexin’ music.

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  • cmarie September 21, 2011, 3:08 pm

    Sarah McLachlan. She can be so depressing but for some reason I find her voice very sexy.

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  • Britannia September 21, 2011, 3:20 pm

    I can’t believe I forgot “All Night” by Damian Marley!!!


    Best sexy-time song EVER.

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  • PondLily September 21, 2011, 2:57 pm

    My absolute favorite CD (can we still say CD anymore? album?) to get busy to is Tricky’s Maxinquaye. It is pure sex in a can. It makes me feel sexy just to listen to it. If you don’t own it, go buy it right now!!

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  • lets_be_honest September 21, 2011, 4:50 pm

    Speaking of songs…”do you remember the 21st night in September” earth, wind and fire.

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    • TheOtherMe September 21, 2011, 5:06 pm

      ok LBH, just how old are you ??? πŸ˜‰

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      • lets_be_honest September 21, 2011, 5:31 pm

        haha, 29…but if my taste in music decided my age, in a range between 10 and 100.

  • ABogusAccount September 21, 2011, 6:10 pm

    I haven’t had sex yet, but I’d like to play the William Tell Overture in the background.

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  • EB September 21, 2011, 6:51 pm

    How many Licks – Lil Kim
    Bounce That- Girl Talk
    Boylife in America- Cody ChestnuTT
    Crazy Bitch- Buck Cherry
    Instant Pleasure- Rufus Wainwright
    Fuck the Pain Away- Peaches
    Candy Shop- 50 cent
    Pony- Ginuwine
    Gimme More- Britney Spears
    My Neck, My Back- Khia
    Any Which Way- Scissor Sisters
    The Seed 2.0- The Roots
    Work it- Missy Elliott
    Closer- NIN
    Badd- Mike Jones and the Ying Yang twins
    Lover I Don’t Have to Love- Bright Eyes
    9 crimes – Damien Rice
    Everbody Here Wants You- Jeff Buckley
    Wicked Games- Chris Isaak
    I Wanna be Adored -Stones Roses

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  • somethingmorethanblah September 21, 2011, 8:38 pm

    I’m not one really for music during sex, but my boyfriend put “Maps” by the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs and “Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star on a mixed CD he made me. I guess he was trying to tell me something..? I had never heard of either and love both songs πŸ™‚

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  • Chantelle September 21, 2011, 9:54 pm

    It’s rare that I’m listening to music while doing the deed but I certainly have songs that I like to get ready to. I’m a perv.
    “Better Than Love” – HURTS
    “Closer” – NIN
    “Tear You Apart” She Wants Revenge
    “These Things” She Wants Revenge
    “Undisclosed Desires” – Muse
    “Electrical Storm” – U2
    “Wrong” – Depeche Mode
    “It’s No Good” – Depeche Mode
    “You Please Me” – Dragonette (Anything by Dragonette, really)
    “Criminal” – Fiona Apple
    “Never Met a Girl Like You Before” – Edwyn Collins <–easily one of my faves.
    "Set Fire to the Third Bar" – Snow Patrol

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    • Kate September 21, 2011, 11:54 pm

      Ooo, I can’t believe I forgot Closer! Good one!

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    • TheOtherMe September 22, 2011, 10:49 am

      I LOOOOVE β€œWrong” by Depeche Mode but not for sex, mostly because I feel exactly like what those lyrics describe.

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  • Kate September 21, 2011, 11:53 pm

    Top 5 best sex songs:

    Rev 22:20 Puscifer
    House of The Rising Sun The Animals
    Come Together Joe Cocker
    Mama Told Me Not To Come Three Dog Night
    Suffocate Cold

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  • RunsWithScissors September 22, 2011, 1:34 am

    I don’t know why, but for me Riders on the Storm by the Doors really does it for me. The thunderstorm at the beginning…and I just melt.

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    fast eddie September 22, 2011, 1:15 am

    Revels’ Bolero when Bo’s feeling frisky, with anybody else Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyrie works nicely. Bom-bidada-bom-bom-bidada-bom-bom-bidada-bom…..

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  • IcedVentiRedEyeGuy - in Chitown bay-bay! September 22, 2011, 12:04 pm

    Enigma – Greatest Hits (2000) 1 hour 14 minutes 57 seconds.

    *shiver* Yearning for an encore.

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      bittergaymark September 22, 2011, 12:12 pm

      Omigod, Enigma was so, so great…

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      • IcedVentiRedEyeGuy - in Chitown bay-bay! September 22, 2011, 12:31 pm

        Mark, “was”?

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        bittergaymark September 22, 2011, 2:22 pm

        Well, I only mean that they seem to have broken up… I think the broke up> At any rate, the have vanished, sadly. Naturally, I still have them on my ipod. PS — The maxi single for Sadeness part 1 has amazing mixes. Especially the “Violent U.S. Mix” which is great if you wanna get a little rough. πŸ˜‰ Actually, the Mea Culpa remixes rule as well. I wonder if they are on Itunes?

  • Sailorbabe September 22, 2011, 2:18 pm

    Wendy- Maps… F_k yes!

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  • McLovin September 26, 2011, 1:00 pm

    I listen to music no matter what I’m doing, so, naturally I have a playlist for those times that require an NC – 17 rating. I add and subtract songs all the time, but I always do my best to keep the song “Closing Time” by Semisonic at about the 45 minute mark.

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  • Kaylee October 18, 2011, 3:23 pm

    Well, looks like I’m super late to this post but thanks everyone for all of these amazing songs! I would just like to add (in no particular order):

    Muse – Hysteria
    Bush – Comedown
    Goldfrapp – Ooh La La
    Damien Rice – Woman Like a Man (“You wanna get burned, you wanna get turned, you wanna get f***ed inside out.” Why does he just sound so hot singing that?)
    Paula Cole – Feeling Love (maybe this is more of a pregaming it song!)
    Placebo – Post Blue
    Wes Carr – Fearless
    Chris Isaak – Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing
    Garbage – Number One Crush

    And I definitely agree with those who said NIN’s “Closer” and She Wants Revenge’s “Tear you Apart.”

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