In the last few weeks, I’ve started a list of things we need to get as we prepare to become first-time parents in October. To get ideas for this list, I’ve been talking to friends and family who have young kids, reading parenting blogs, observing the young families in my neighborhood (there are a lot of them!), browsing the baby sections of Amazon.com and Target.com, reading consumer reports, and skimming peoples’ baby registries online. I even took notes at a baby shower I went to last weekend. During this process, I’ve discovered a lot of crap one needs in order to care for a baby. But nothing has been quite as … illuminating as this “hands free breast pump” product I found on Amazon the other day. I guess I can see the logic of such a thing — like, if you’ve literally got your hands super full and suddenly your boobs are threatening to explode all over the place. But, come on … is some lady really gonna sit around watching “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” with two bottles strapped around her chest and hanging from her tits? Readers with kids, is this normal?? Do people really do this? Also, I would very much like it if my stomach looked like this model’s after I give birth. Also, if you have any suggestions for my product list, please let me know!