Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

More Women Are Considering Proposing Themselves

Love Is Not a Permanent State of Enthusiasm: An Interview with Psychotherapist Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

The truth behind these relationship stereotypes – and others – might surprise you.

What I See: Gloria Steinem, Shoulder to Shoulder With Women of Color

Have you been following the story of Cyntoia Brown, who at 16 was the victim of sex trafficking and killed a man who picked her up? She was tried as an adult and sentenced to spend her life in prison. The Tennessee Supreme Court recently affirmed that she can be released after completing 51 years in prison, and most reasonable and compassionate people are rightfully fucking pissed (especially considering that men like Brock Turner who was convicted of rape got a measly three months in jail because more time than that “would ruin is life.” Talk about white male privilege! Here’s an article about why Cyntoia Brown deserves clemency.

Daughter of ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ composer defends song amid controversy. We discussed the song bit this week in this thread.

Working to Ensure the ‘Year of the Woman’ Is More Than Just One Year

Researchers Found One Way That Long-Term Marriages Get Happier

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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11 comments… add one
  • Bittergaymark December 14, 2018, 1:07 pm

    This stock photo is hilarious as his body language is all — Wait! What the fuck are you doing?!

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  • Bittergaymark December 14, 2018, 1:11 pm

    PS — The Baby Its Cold Outside Controversy is fucking stupid. End. Of. Story. Just plain silly. And willfully clueless about the evolution of language.

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    • ktfran December 14, 2018, 4:11 pm

      Second time I wholeheartedly agree with you today.

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    • JD December 14, 2018, 6:24 pm

      Yep yep yep.

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    • anonymousse December 14, 2018, 8:49 pm

      Having been in many situations where a man wouldn’t take a firm No, I personally hate hearing that song. It doesn’t matter the intent when it was written. As far as the events of this year for victims of sexual assault, rape etc, I’m not surprised a big part of the population doesn’t want to hear it anymore.

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      • keyblade December 14, 2018, 9:31 pm

        I wasn’t around when the original song was released, I had no idea it was recorded and sung by a husband and wife duet. I mostly just heard the tired cat and mouse on a date trope. It hasn’t aged particularly well in contemporary romance.


      • Fyodor December 16, 2018, 11:12 am

        Eh, it may be the case that in 1940 or whatnot a man had to pressure a woman into sex so she wouldn’t feel like a slut but it’s not 1940. Not all art ages perfectly and to modern ears it sounds a lot like someone trying to leave and not being allowed to. Whatever the author’s intent I don’t know that we need to keep rereleasing it and playing it on the radio.

        More generally the trope in movies and TV that a man must pressure a woman into doing what she” really ” wants is a bd cultural influence. Art shapes people’s attitudes and I think that it’s bad to reinforce this idea.

    • Lucidity December 15, 2018, 4:35 pm

      Yes, the controversy is stupid. Who cares if a radio station exercised their right to choose what they want to play? If you want to hear it so bad, switch to ANY OTHER station or play it at home.

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      • JD December 15, 2018, 6:09 pm

        I take one radio station off my presets on thanksgiving day and put it back in after the new year because they play nothing but Xmas music for over a month. Not what i want to hear driving into work ha

    • Fyodor December 16, 2018, 11:23 am

      Also, people can make the discretionary choice about playing and listening to art that reflects their values. Some people make it sound like the Taliban is burning all the copies of this song.

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  • Copa December 14, 2018, 1:18 pm

    I just bookmarked the Esther Perel article to read later. My therapist is a fan, and lent me a copy of Mating in Captivity, which I hadn’t read yet. She thinks I’ll find it interesting and helpful. I really liked the other book she let me borrow, Attached (about attachment theory in relationships), so I have high hopes. If anyone here happens to be an Esther Perel fan, I also hear she has a podcast, which I keep forgetting to listen to!

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