Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Women Candidates Won Almost Every Democratic House Primary They Contested on Tuesday

Are You Radical Enough to Be a Relationship Anarchist?

”I’m sad that I didn’t have sex until I was 37”

In Japan, people who are short on relatives can hire a husband, a mother, a grandson. The resulting relationships can be more real than you’d expect.

Motherhood’s supposed “horror show”

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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6 comments… add one
  • avatar

    csp May 11, 2018, 12:59 pm

    Weirdly enough, the most common elements of torture invoked in the growing “motherhood is awful” canon seem largely self-imposed — the fruits of a particularly American earth-mother perfectionism, paired with a strange belief that good parenting involves making yourself as miserable as possible while sacrificing all sense of self. If you decide to co-sleep with your child in your bed until said child is 2 years old, for instance, you’re probably not going to get much sleep for two years. If you decide against scientific evidence that baby formula is bottled hemlock and can never be used, ever — even when you’re, say, sick in bed with strep throat — well, good luck to you.

    This line rung very true to me.

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    • MaterialsGirl

      MaterialsGirl May 11, 2018, 1:14 pm

      I read this article in the Tribune earlier this week and I loved it. As I start this journey, it’s good to have a touchstone on what’s actually necessary to raise a child and what’s opinion/the world/mom guilt/the patriarchy imposing upon an otherwise challenging but rewarding experience.

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    • avatar

      SpaceySteph May 11, 2018, 1:29 pm

      Yeah this article was great.

      Someone told me recently, (as a weird kind of compliment?) that I “seem really relaxed as a mom.” Which is funny because I’m a generally high-strung, perfectionist type person, but I have firmly embraced a “good enough” method of parenthood and I’m actually not stressed out about it all the time. I mean the first couple months with NO sleep were no picnic, but its really not as awful as people make it out to be.
      Also I have a good co-parent who does his share, which helps but is also not really too much to ask for if you aren’t actually a single parent.

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  • avatar

    K May 11, 2018, 1:21 pm

    The Japanese rent-a-family article was very fascinating, and both sad and touching.

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  • avatar

    anonymousse May 11, 2018, 1:32 pm

    “Parenthood is a gift. Parenthood is a joy. The marvelous far outweighs the so-called horrifying — and at least 90 percent of the latter becomes funny over time.”

    This is so true.

    Reply Link
    • MaterialsGirl

      MaterialsGirl May 11, 2018, 1:39 pm

      I know, I’m reminded how when all of my siblings are gathered together with my parents, we spend most of the time reminiscing about our childhood and laughing hysterically at the parental missteps, the shenanigans we pulled, the video tape we would play on repeat of my infant brother falling between the crack of bed and the wall.. dumb stuff that was probably really stressful at the time. My mother’s favorite line was “don’t come back unless you’re bleeding or dying.” we joke with her about what she must have been doing in a quiet house with 5 children running around the neighborhood. (the answer is napping… and enjoying some peace and quiet)

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