Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Having A ‘Type’ Of Person You Go For In Relationships Is A Bad Idea (I’ve been saying this for a while!).

A Guy Read 50 Years Worth of Relationship Studies. He Came Up With 17 Strategies. (They’re good strategies!).

When The Racist Is Someone You Know and Love…

This Twitter Thread Satirizing How Men Talk About Women Is Too Good

Why Happy People Cheat: A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity.

6 Signs You’re In A Band-Aid Relationship (And What To Do About It)

35% of people in relationships are still regularly using dating apps

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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2 comments… add one
  • avatar

    RedroverRedrover September 8, 2017, 2:37 pm

    I find it interesting that the 17 relationship strategies don’t ever mention sex. Or even physical intimacy in general, unless I missed that part. Some of them could obviously include sex, but it’s never specifically called out.

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  • avatar

    jnsunique September 8, 2017, 3:40 pm

    When the racist is someone you know and love: I’ve been wrestling with this. Many times folks don’t realize that they’re racist. And they say things that are, and I don’t know how to respond. 2 examples:
    1. A woman I work with and greatly respect is the first from her family to get a PhD. She is about 30 years old. We were talking about the movie “Sing” and she told me that she didn’t see why they had to make the elephant family black, and implied that she thought it was too PC. Much later on, I came up with a response. She didn’t have a problem with other accents in the movie, right? Only the elephant accents. The problem with not including different accents and cultures in films is that it affirms that there is only one culture that matters and deserves representation. It pretends that there is a single culture. And, we don’t want to segregate movies, right?
    2. Someone else I work with and greatly respect doesn’t like quesadillas. He gets really disappointed when they’re ordered for a catered lunch because he won’t eat them. I asked why not, and it’s because he won’t eat Mexican food. Just has a dislike of it and won’t even try it, based on his experiences with Mexican immigrant labor. In the same conversation, he and the woman in #1 started talking about obnoxious young Mexican men blasting terrible music in apartments/student housing. The thing is, that young men behaving badly is not restricted to any culture or skin color.
    Anyway, I’m not a fast thinker in conversations but if these topics come up again with the same folks I hope to be able to give them some different ways to think about their assumptions.

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