Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Michelle Obama is on a publicity tour promoting her new book so we’re lucky to have a few Michelle interviews and articles to enjoy this week, like:
Michelle Obama left her job so her husband could be president. Now it’s her turn to shine. The Obamas’ “seesaw marriage” could be a model for modern relationships.”

And: “Michelle Obama is Still Optimistic.”

And: “Michelle Obama on Her Relationship With Barack Now: ‘We are finding each other again. We have dinners alone and chunks of time where it’s just us — what we were when we started this thing: no kids, no publicity, no nothing. Just us and our dreams.'”

Related to yesterday’s column, maybe: Your Mother’s Romantic Past Affects Your Own Dating Adventures

Why I’m Going Back to Work Even Though I Get Paid Less Than Childcare Costs

Actress Ann Dowd from The Handmaid’s Tale on What It Was Like Not Finding Success Until Her Fifties

If You Like a Guy, Tell Him. Only Then Will Women Be Free

15 people reveal the best marriage advice they ever received from their parents

“The U.S. teen pregnancy rate has plummeted to a third of its modern high. When this decline started, in the 1990s, it was widely and rightly embraced. But now some observers are beginning to wonder whether an unambiguously good thing might have roots in less salubrious developments. Signs are gathering that the delay in teen sex may have been the first indication of a broader withdrawal from physical intimacy that extends well into adulthood.”

— Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? Despite the easing of taboos and the rise of hookup apps, Americans are in the midst of a sex recession.

Why female pleasure must be at the heart of sex education

9 Breezy Responses to Those Awkward Family Holiday Questions

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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8 comments… add one
  • Fyodor November 16, 2018, 4:07 pm

    The no sex among young people article was very interesting.

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    • anonymousse November 17, 2018, 1:29 pm

      Yeah. I’m honestly not surprised by most of the research and opinions in there. Well, except for Gavin McInnes. He can go fall off a bridge.

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  • Poppy November 16, 2018, 5:13 pm

    Me too but in an off putting way. How many parents would like the school education system teaching their children how to “pleasure” themselves. Not to mention everyone has their own way to be pleasured. Im pretty sure sex education doesnt teach the males how to pleasure themselves just like the female sex ed. Sex Ed. in my generation was 6th grade ladies learned about their vaginas abd mental cycle… 7th grade STD and recap on our bodies. And in H.S. more recap on our bodies, STD, and consent. We were taught male and female masturbate. Also, she wasnt specific about sex ed with 4 yrs old …. 4 yr olds do not need to know a penis goes into a vagina but it is very much appropriate to teach them the correct names of their genitals instesd of giving them nicknames.

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    • Poppy November 16, 2018, 5:18 pm This is an article I think hits spot on that to me is appropriate. If they want to teach kids how to “pleasure” themselves, I think it would be more approriate for them to direct it towards a MD or OBGYN

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      • dinoceros November 17, 2018, 2:27 pm

        I’m sure that most insurance companies certainly have a code for your doctor teaching you how to masturbate. I also am sure that when someone tells a kid to go talk to their doctor, they will totally ask their parents to schedule and drive them to an appointment and then ask this old stranger they barely know about that stuff (not to mention someone who probably wasn’t taught anything additional about sexual pleasure in med school than any random person off the street).

        Anyway, I think you’ve viewing the original link in the context of assuming a totally blank slate. But sex ed isn’t in a vacuum. People make a lot more references to men enjoying sex in our society than women. A lot of people grow up assuming that women don’t like sex as much, so men have to “convince” them. Most people pretty easily know what to do for a dude sexually, but much fewer would be able to pleasure a woman without being coached (and that’s assuming they are open to being coached and don’t just get offended that they’re being told they aren’t “good” at it).

        Sex ed that talks just about procreation is teaching an action that provides men with pleasure automatically. Even if an adult just had sex to make a baby, the dude would feel pretty good. The woman would need something additional to be done, and there’s no clear idea of where that knowledge would come from.

    • anonymousse November 17, 2018, 1:50 pm

      That’s not really what she was saying. She’s saying that sex ed and societal norms regarding sex in Britain (and I’d say here, too) is different for men in women in that women are taught to guard their virginity and vagina like all women are temptresses and completely responsible for any unwarranted behavior. Men, conversely, are taught basic mechanics about how to get off and nothing else, like respect for women. Girls and boys need to be taught to be partner focused and respectful and to get enthusiastic consent. I don’t think teaching teenagers what pleases women is bad. And teaching boys and men that women aren’t solely vessels of pleasure for them would be a step in the right direction. I mean, on some blogs for and by women (like Cup of Jo) people don’t know what the clitoris is, or the labia. These are grown, modern women who were never taught where their urethra is. They are literally just taught how to not get pregnant, but nothing else. She didn’t not say that teenagers need to be taught how to masturbate.

      Sex education for four year olds doesn’t get into that. It talks about private areas, consent and unwanted touching. Some parents I know with kids around that age have had to go there, because kids ask a lot of questions and honestly, knowing the truth is often better for young kids. It helps kids stand up for themselves in cases of molestation to know what is a right and wrong touch. If it’s a mystery to children, it raises the risks.

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