Friday Links

Hi! I haven’t done a links round-up in ages, but I came across some good ones this week and wanted to share:

Over in the forums, we’re discussing perimenopause, where I said that this article – Women Have Been Misled About Menopause — from The New York Times Magazine was very timely. Frankly, the title is a bit misleading, actually, and speaks to how little understanding and open dialogue there has been about this stage in a person’s life. What we think of when we think of “menopause” – the oft-joked about hot flashes, the mood swings, the night sweats – are symptoms of perimenopause, the period that comes before menopause and which lasts anywhere from a couple years to a decade (on average, symptoms last about four years). For many of us, perimenopause begins around mid-to-late 40s (though there’s some thought that just as young people have been getting their first periods earlier than in previous generations, today’s middle-aged people are starting menopause slightly earlier too). If you haven’t yet experienced the fun yourself, here’s a taste of what’s in store:

I knew I was in perimenopause because my period disappeared for months at a time, only to return with no explanation. In the weeks leading up to each period, I experienced abdominal discomfort so extreme that I went for an ultrasound to make sure I didn’t have some ever-growing cyst. At times, hot flashes woke me at night, forcing me straight into the kinds of anxious thoughts that take on ferocious life in the early hours of morning. Even more distressing was the hard turn my memory took for the worse: I was forever blanking on something I said as soon as I’d said it, chronically groping for words or names — a development apparent enough that people close to me commented on it. I was haunted by a conversation I had with a writer I admired, someone who quit relatively young. At a small party, I asked her why. “Menopause,” she told me without hesitation. “I couldn’t think of the words.”

Last week I was having lunch with two friends and found myself mid-conversation blanking on what we were talking about. It was the weirdest thing! Then, the room started spinning (vertigo – another perimenopause symptom), and the spinning sensation lasted the whole rest of the day until I went to sleep that night. I’m only 46, so theoretically still years away from being on the other side of this, and I am interested in learning more about how others cope and treat similar symptoms.

I loved these “new etiquette rules” presented by NYmag, and covering everything from tipping guidelines (anything under 20% at a dine-in restaurant “is rude”) to the importance of sending a condolence note (even if it’s a year late… just do it!). I’d say 90% of the guidelines – and there are 140 of them! – are great and 10% are kind of WTF, which is, I should point out, the exact ratio of most online content that goes viral.

I’ve been taking a free online 6-week course on happiness offered by Harvard and this article highlights one of the important factors of happiness and how to achieve it: Want to boost your happiness? Buy experiences, not material possessions. What experienced have you enjoyed lately? We took the kids to “Lion King” last weekend – Joanie’s first Broadway show! – which was a Christmas gift “from Santa” and one I know will stay with us longer than, say, the skateboard Joanie said she wanted but has yet to actually try out.

Married Women Are Recalling The Subtle Red Flag They Wish They Didn’t Ignore While They Were Dating Their Husband

And in real WTF news: Florida wants to force student athletes to share their menstrual history

Ok, that’s it for today. Hope you all have a great weekend, and if you’re part of the arctic freeze hitting many of us today and tomorrow, I hope you manage to stay warm!