Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Happy Friday, everyone! What do you have planned for the weekend? The kids are on winter break this next week and we’re heading to Missouri to visit my folks. The weather forecast is showing temps ranging from 22 to 69 degrees so I guess I’m bringing half my wardrobe, including a winter coat, a fall coat, and a spring jacket? This has been the most bizarre-o winter ever. NYC has only gotten like 1/10 of an inch of snow all season! I hate winter, so I don’t mind the milder temps until I remember that they’re only milder because our planet is burning and then that doesn’t really seem worth 50-degree Valentine’s Day. Anyway, here are a few links:

This week of Valentine’s Day, I love this celebration of deep platonic love: Platonic love with friends

I didn’t know stalking the social media profiles of one’s exes’ exes was a thing, but thanks to this article, “A Love Letter to All My Exes’ Exes’ Instagram Accounts,” now I do. In it:

In my lowest post-breakup moments, I remember clicking through the profile of an ex of my ex — you know, the ex, the Really Bad One — looking for clues on her page, searching to see if she had been burned the same way I had been. It felt like a warm embrace to find a post on her Story, an indirect ode to her new partner, about being treated right after years of mistreatment. It felt like closure. That was years ago, and she just celebrated five years with him, which I happened to discover by deliberately opening the app yesterday, searching her name, and swiping without double-tapping. I realized, though not side by side — and perhaps on a parallel path that will never meet — we had both moved on for the better.

Drew and I have been together almost 17 years, so not quite 20, and I agree with most of these: 15 Relationship Tips From People Who’ve Been Together for 20-Plus Years

This Photographer Captures Cinematic Moments Of Black Love And Friendship

Why Everyone Feels Like They’re Faking It

Need a good cry this weekend to get all the feelings out? I just finished Rob Delaney’s heart-breaking memoir, “A Heart That Works,” about the death of his 2-year-old son to cancer and I guarantee it’s a tearjerker. For a bit of a palate cleanser, this collection of funny and poignant essays is my next read.

6 comments… add one
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    Copa February 17, 2023, 1:19 pm

    Ooh, I’m excited to read the exes’ exes’ Instagram creeping article. I’ve shared this charming anecdote on this site plenty of times, but I have an ex whose wife creeped me on social media for literal years. Maybe she still does, I don’t know. I only learned how frequently I crossed her mind because of IG stories and it was really weird! But it did leave me curious about how people end up lurking where they do and what they get out of it.

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      Dear Wendy February 17, 2023, 2:00 pm

      I thought of you when I read this!

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      • ktfran February 17, 2023, 2:10 pm

        I did too. Ha!

    • Anonymousse February 17, 2023, 6:28 pm

      I can’t wait to read that!

      It must be so weird-and I don’t mean this in a judgmental way, but weird in an information access way-to grow up dating with social media, Instagram, etc. at your finger tips because you can access all that if you want to, assuming they are online. It would be mighty tempting to, and hard not to, especially if you’re paranoid or have been cheated on or are obsessive. Romance and relationships and figuring those out in person are hard enough but online too…

      I feel old!

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      Copa February 18, 2023, 12:07 pm

      The author’s entire friend group also stalks their exes’ exes. What!? Is this really a common thing? I cannot imagine getting together with my gal pals and updating one another on our exes from five years ago’s exes from before that like it’s interesting.

      I do sometimes look at social accounts I don’t follow of people from the past or people I don’t know, but it’s not frequent. I don’t even find my friends’ accounts or stories interesting most of the time (and assume they feel the same about mine).

      The only time I’ve gone down the insecurity rabbit hole on social media is after I’ve been cheated on. I do not recommend it as someone who has learned the hard way to block people for my own sake.

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      • Anonymousse February 18, 2023, 11:45 pm

        That part did not sound real to me.
        The whole piece really read like a cry for help to me.


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