Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Happy Friday! This weekend we have no plans, which I’m happy about after a few weekends of events and travel. It’s going to be cloudy and rainy here, too, so I will probably do some reading (I just checked out this novel from the library but haven’t started it yet. Have any of you read it?), cooking some comfort food (maybe baked potato soup), and watching movies (any recommendations?). I’ve also been running a lot and am aiming for five miles on Sunday, which would be the longest distance I’ve run since pre-pandemic (I’ve been doing 3-4 mile runs a few times a week for a few months, which is my comfort zone). Hope you all have a great weekend, and here are some links you might find interesting:

In “‘It feels unconditional’: the secrets of lifelong friendships – according to lifelong friends,” one of the reasons friendships are so important:

Research shows overwhelmingly that friendship is good for us. “It’s not their primary purpose, but friendships have this massive effect on your mental health and welfare, and on your physical health and welfare – they even affect how long you’re going to live,” says Dunbar. “If you look at the data, the effect is far stronger than all the things your family doctor worries about on your behalf. This is my pitch for the NHS: just find everybody a friend or two.”

And in a related article, “Why friendships end and how to cope,” I especially liked this piece of advice for what to say when you notice a friendship beginning to fizzle out and you’d like to salvage it:

Think about what’s standard for your friendship and notice whether a friend is suddenly deviating from that, Franco says. Look for a desire to withdraw or avoid — maybe you stop talking as much, you’re not trying to set up plans and there are fewer texts or calls.

You could save the friendship by saying, “Hey, I noticed we’ve been in contact less. I’m not sure if you’re just busy or if anything’s been on your mind. But if so, I’m totally open to hearing about it because I really value our relationship,” Franco advises.

“Friendships heal by making the unsaid said, and they die from the unsaid never being said,” she adds.

As abortion bans across the nation are implemented and enforced, Google and Facebook are helping police build cases to prosecute women seeking abortions or abortion-inducing medication.

Could you/ would you want to live in a world with no men in your personal life? There’s a small but growing movement among Korean women doing just that. They swear off heterosexual dating, marriage, sex, childbirth, and many even distance themselves from male family members and friends. I’m wondering how many of these women swearing off heterosexual sex and dating identify as straight?

Oh, wow: Women Falling in Live with Their AI Boyfriends

Also! The Oscars are this weekend. Are you going to watch? Any predictions for winners? Did you see any of the nominees?

18 comments… add one
  • peggy March 10, 2023, 12:51 pm

    Saw Tar and Banshees of Inisherin. Very interesting and well acted movies. Cate Blanchett is amazing, it “reads ” like a true story, though it is not. The Banshees is odd and not for the squeamish. Still wondering why a character did what they did, but a quirky piece ,fine acting.

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  • Kate March 10, 2023, 3:20 pm

    I read that book you linked and I really liked it, but it is very sad in parts so you may want to switch between it and something else. Which is easy to do because each chapter is like a short story within the larger narrative.

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      Dear Wendy March 10, 2023, 4:17 pm

      Oh, that’s good to know. I’m going through something challenging right now; maybe I should hold off on this and read something lighter for the timbering.

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      • Kate March 10, 2023, 4:19 pm

        Yeah, maybe. I like apocalyptic stuff and dark stuff, but this book was emotionally heavy in parts even for me. Very well written and intriguing story though.

  • ktfran March 10, 2023, 7:58 pm

    The husband and I thoroughly enjoyed the Menu. I will say I think we’re the target audience. We enjoy high-end, fine dining experiences but we don’t take it super seriously. We thought the movie was a hoot.

    Unfortunately, I’m working this weekend. We have a big deadline Monday and our JV partner screwed us so we’re rallying. Disappointing, but I’ll get it done. I told my manager I’m not working Tuesday and probably taking the rest of the week easy. So Tuesday, I’m thinking massage. Or lunch out and shopping. Or all of the above.

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      Dear Wendy March 11, 2023, 9:02 am

      Sucks to work on a weekend, but sometimes having a weekday off > weekend day off. You kinda get the city to yourself that way. Good luck getting all the work done by your deadline!

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      Copa March 13, 2023, 9:26 am

      Sorry you had to work, but I never really mind having a reason to avoid St. Patty’s in Chicago, haha. I had to run an errand in West Loop on Saturday morning and even then, omg. I’ve been out on St. Patty’s here before and I’m sure I will again, but most years I avoid that scene. Some friends went out and were trying to get us to come join them, but a couple hours in West Loop was enough.

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      • Anonymousse March 13, 2023, 9:37 am

        It’s not even St Pattys yet!! That’s so funny.

        I got color changing emerald green to lime green nail polish and a silly kids headband from Target with a top hat and rainbows & a pot of gold sticking out of the top of it.

        I have a seven year old daughter, so I dress for her.

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        Copa March 13, 2023, 9:56 am

        Chicago always celebrates St. Patty’s the Saturday before! They dye the river green, there are parades, and some people choose to be wasted at 8 a.m. I’ve gone bar hopping on St. Patty’s before and had fun, but have never gone so hard that I’m down for the count by mid-morning. If my friends had come into the area I live in, I’d have met them for a drink or two and done St. Patty’s lite. I’d suggested when we were talking about potentially going out that I’d be happy to host a brunch with Irish coffees, but my idea didn’t fly. Anyway, it’s a crazy day here in some parts of the city.

      • ktfran March 13, 2023, 11:30 am

        I remember going out to watch March Madness on the same Sat Chicago was celebrating St. Pat’s. There were people puking and getting into bar fights at like 1:00 in the afternoon. NO THANKS!!

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        Copa March 13, 2023, 12:11 pm

        One year, I decided to volunteer at the animal shelter on St. Patty’s. I lived in the heart of LP at the time and on my walk home in the early afternoon, cut through under the el tracks and came across a group of maybe 3-4 women who were all peeing. One said something to me and I had no idea what she was saying, she was so far gone. It can be hard to avoid the chaos even when you’re trying!

        Last year or maybe two years ago, I had a haircut booked for St. Patty’s, also in LP. It took forever to find parking and I was so nervous driving down that strip of Lincoln with all the bars, nobody was paying attention and they’d just walk into the street to cross!

        I generally like the early days of spring where Chicago starts to feel alive again, but I’m not a St. Patty’s person.

      • Anonymousse March 13, 2023, 7:21 pm

        We moved to Philly five years ago and we were in an Airbnb on a rowdy street- we were unaware just how rowdy until st. Pattys day. There were possibly unofficial parades all day, which was fascinating for the toddlers at the time. I did live in Boston for a few years and they were pretty all in on st. Pattys. They’d dye the Charles green then, I’m sure they still do.

  • Anonymousse March 11, 2023, 7:44 pm

    I am working all weekends in March.
    It already hurts.
    My poor kids miss me.

    I coached someone n my team into a better job on a different team and screwed my team over for March. So I’m bearing the brunt. It’s all good, though. Hopefully, we’ll hire some new people soon.

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    • ktfran March 12, 2023, 9:22 am

      That stinks anon! Hopefully it won’t last too long and the person you helped I’m sure is appreciative of your guidance!

      Wendy, I’m looking a little forward to taking a day or so this week! A little shopping when it’s not busy is my cup of tea.

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    • ktfran March 12, 2023, 9:23 am

      I don’t get paid OT, so I def don’t feel guilty about taking time when I’m working 60 hour weeks.

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      • Anonymousse March 12, 2023, 6:39 pm

        It’s okay, I did it fully knowing. And working is making me so fulfilled and HAPPY. It’s funny because of course it’s not all sunshine and roses but I missed using my brain to put out fires, watch financials, manager other adults etc. I am exhausted all the time, but really happy. Soon I’ll figure out how to add a social life back in.

  • Kate March 12, 2023, 11:18 am

    My boss texted me (personal phone) at 8am today (Sunday) asking if I could send her the link to XYZ, which is literally on a Word doc called “link to xyz,” in a sharepoint folder called xyz. So I told her that and pinged her the link on Teams, and she’s like oh thank you so much I am dealing with a fire drill, so I had to ask what is it, and she’s like oh I emailed you Friday (I check and it was at 9:07 pm), CMO is asking x question (which I’ve been poised to answer for months with a research study that I haven’t been able to field bc the CMO keeps pivoting). Plus we’ve actually answered it already. CMO has that info but like “is there anything else?” I found her like 3 more things by poking around on sharepoint for 10 minutes. Oy.

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  • Anonymousse March 12, 2023, 6:44 pm

    My boss has the share point in her email signature, so thank god for that. Except someone made an alternate sharepoint. We were just told to stop using teams, and only share via email to cut down on communication overload, but now everyone is doing both. And the teams was picked to cut down the emails long before that. Nothing makes sense and I just laugh a lot all the time.

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