Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links, May 24

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:


For your viewing pleasure, I present the Prince of Sweden (meow).

“The Gay Guide to Wedded Bliss” [via The Atlantic]

WTF!! “Texas judge says lesbian couple can’t cohabitate, cites ‘morality clause’ in divorce papers” [via The Washington Post]

A writer recounts attending her ex-husband’s wedding [via HuffPo]

“My open relationship went awry” [via Salon]

“Why America’s Falling Birth Rate Is Sensational News for the Pet Industry” [via The Atlantic]

And here’s a shopping-related link: If, like me, you’re doing a little summer clothes shopping and you’ve never shopped at Modcloth before, you can follow this link for $15 off your first purchase (of more than 50 bucks; I get a $15 referral credit, so shop up so I can buy a new summer dress!).

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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38 comments… add one
  • lets_be_honest May 24, 2013, 1:45 pm

    Loved the ex-husband wedding one.

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    • katie May 24, 2013, 1:55 pm

      me too!! god, i wish more people acted that way. how awesome.

      and her friends suck.

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      • lets_be_honest May 24, 2013, 1:59 pm

        Right?! Her, the new fiance, the ex and his new wife are awesome in my book.
        Her friends? Can you imagine hearing your friend say she’s going to support her daughter and show her how to have a civil co-parenting situation, and telling her just not to go? How is that a bad thing? Idk, agree with you totally.

      • Fabelle May 24, 2013, 2:29 pm

        yeah, I was pretty annoyed with the responses she apparently got. What’s the deal with people trying to get others to take the low road (especially when the person’s already planning to take the high road?) I don’t get it.

      • katie May 24, 2013, 2:39 pm

        my theory: everyone wants to win, no one understands how to be happy. i guess you could argue that my going to this wedding, the ex-wife doesnt “win” anything, but, like it happened, everyone ends up happy. that is the more important thing.

      • kerrycontrary May 24, 2013, 2:22 pm

        I would not hold it against anyone who didn’t want to attend their ex-husbands wedding, but I believe this woman showed a lot of maturity (grace?) by supporting her daughter and this new union (which is a new type of family unit for her daughter). That said, if someone really didn’t want to attend their ex’s wedding due to bad feelings of the divorce or the pain of seeing them with someone else, I would think it was a totally normal response. You can be good co-parents without going to each others 2nd weddings.

    • bethany May 24, 2013, 2:21 pm

      I liked that, too. When she got to the toast part I got a little scared, but I like how it was a blessing of sorts of the wife’s new role as step-mother.

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      • SpaceySteph May 24, 2013, 4:05 pm

        Meh, I think it was rude that she made an impromptu speech. It’s not right to give a toast at a wedding when the bride and groom haven’t asked you to.
        I mean sure it was nice, but it would have been equally nice to write that in the card and keep her mouth shut at the reception.

      • theattack May 24, 2013, 4:42 pm

        That’s what I thought. She said the room fell silent, but that’s not because she was being such a stand-up woman. It’s because it’s wildly inappropriate to give a toast at your ex’s wedding! Of course she should be giving them their blessings. If she didn’t approve she shouldn’t have come, so what makes her thoughts so special that she gets to give a speech?

      • Kate B. May 24, 2013, 5:47 pm

        Is it rude? I’ve been to weddings where after the best man and MOH give their speeches, anyone who wants to can say something.

    • Lindsay May 24, 2013, 2:55 pm

      I wasn’t a huge fan. Her reasoning about her daughter made sense, but I don’t really believe her that not going would have created such a huge rift. Personally, I suspect that a lot of people invite their exes because they have to, not because they actually really want them to come. Did anyone of the foursome actually want the author and her fiance to be there?

      I was older when my dad remarried, so I didn’t need parental supervision and obviously could see things more as an adult, but it never occurred to me that my mother would have gone to his wedding.

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      • katie May 24, 2013, 2:58 pm

        well, if they all care about the 6 year old daughter, then yes, they all wanted both parents to be there.

      • Lindsay May 24, 2013, 3:01 pm

        Yeah, but I just mean in an actual “wanting” way, not in a “should” sort of way. I didn’t deny that it was a good idea for the daughter.

      • katie May 24, 2013, 3:24 pm

        well, thats the thing- once you are an adult, and absolutely once you create another human being with someone else, you kind of give away your rights of getting everything you want.

      • Lindsay May 24, 2013, 3:40 pm

        Yes, of course. I’m not saying she shouldn’t have gone. You can want or not want things without acting on those feelings.

      • Fabelle May 24, 2013, 4:01 pm

        I think there’s probably a lot of people invited to weddings on the “should” list rather than the “want” list, though. So even if the author was in the former category… she’s probably in good company, ha

  • paperheart May 24, 2013, 2:10 pm

    mmm, the Prince of Sweden is gorgeous. Much more attractive than Prince William, IMO. I never saw the appeal of him, really.

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    • bethany May 24, 2013, 2:22 pm

      He’s not my taste, but certainly good looking, and you’re right- WAY better than William!

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    • katie May 24, 2013, 2:40 pm

      all royalty is so good looking. how does that happen? it cant be good genes because they inbred themselves so much way back in the day…

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    • Lindsay May 24, 2013, 3:52 pm

      Prince William looked for a long time like he was going to end up being really cute and then something went badly wrong. He started turning into his father. Prince Harry is much more attractive at this point, I think.

      But neither of them can compete with this Swedish fellow.

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    • Taylor May 24, 2013, 4:12 pm

      Yumm! “I’d buy a GRUNDTALBJÄRNUM from his IKEA any day of the week.” Teehee.

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    • Kate B. May 24, 2013, 5:41 pm

      Book me on the next plane to Sweden. I never thought I’d be happy married to a prince, but for him I’d make an effort.

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  • Christy May 24, 2013, 2:27 pm

    Can we talk about how there are so many stories (like the ex-husband wedding, like some commenters here) about how happy people are in their second marriages, and they were so unhappy in their first? Does it make anyone else nervous about marriages?

    Oof, don’t know why this is on my mind so much.

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    • bethany May 24, 2013, 2:33 pm

      It doesn’t make me nervous about my marriage at all… It makes me glad I waited as long as I did, and that I didn’t get married just to “get married”, like some people I know!

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    • katie May 24, 2013, 2:35 pm

      i think that most of those people would tell you that they got married for the wrong reasons, or that they had serious doubts and didnt listen to their gut.

      however, its still just a total crapshoot. lol, remember that.

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      • Fabelle May 24, 2013, 2:38 pm

        Yeah, basically this. I think, anecdotally, it’s mostly that the first marriage wasn’t right at all (even when first going into it). It’s true though, you never know how shit will end up.

      • kerrycontrary May 24, 2013, 2:39 pm

        Did anyone ever hear of that crazy thing that a lot of divorced women KNEW they were going to get divorced even while walking down the aisle? That would be horrible! Men didn’t feel the same way, and men are less likely to initiate divorce.

    • kerrycontrary May 24, 2013, 2:38 pm

      Obviously I don’t have experience in this…but I think a lot of people 1) get married young before they are a fully formed person, and 2) before they discuss really important issues like children, finances, core values (splitting up division of labor in the house, who will be the primary caregiver), religion, etc…There’s also a lot of things about how people feel pressured to be married by a certain age or they settle for the first person who loves them because they don’t think anyone else is out there. So I think a lot of people just marry the wrong person for them for a variety of reasons. Plus a lot of people can make better decisions with more life experience and when they were older (obviously some of our LWs don’t fall under this trend).

      But there are a lot of things that can predict divorce (not always, but statistically speaking): poverty, lack of education, and young marrying age are some of the biggest. And thankfully Christy you fall under none of these 🙂

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      • Christy May 24, 2013, 3:29 pm

        Thanks, kerry. It’s the first-love thing that worries me, I think. Because that’s definitely one I fall into. I just didn’t meet her when I was 16.

      • theattack May 24, 2013, 3:33 pm

        I second your whole comment, Kerry, especially the part about discussing important issues. I got married young, so I obviously don’t think that’s bad. The problems with marrying young are 1) maturity and self-awareness, and 2) not discussing the things you mentioned. Plenty of people think that they’ll just work out their problems because they love each other so much they’re determined to make it work, and that’s terribly naïve.

        Also Kerry, thanks for providing statistical information two days in a row. Aren’t you and Christy in library science? You guys are awesome!

      • kerrycontrary May 24, 2013, 3:42 pm

        @theattack, I’m seriously like a sponge when it comes to facts. Like my boyfriend asks me questions before googling (which can get on my nerves as he asks some absurd questions I would never know the answer to). and yeh I met christy in library school. @Christy I think you are Ok with the first love thing since you are both older. Some people are with only 1 person because they met the right person! I think it’s more about age (i.e. people who get married at 18-19) and developing together. I met my BF at 21 but we’ve developed in our 20s together.

      • Christy May 24, 2013, 4:21 pm

        I’m in research now more than anything (rather than library science specifically), but yup, we met in library school. (And thanks Kerry, I really do appreciate the reassurances.)

    • honeybeenicki May 24, 2013, 3:24 pm

      I’m the second wife, so I figure I’m safe 😉

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    • HmC May 24, 2013, 9:40 pm

      To add a super pessimistic angle to it- I think everyone has rose-colored glasses, to some extent, on whatever their current relationship is… otherwise they wouldn’t be in it! It’s not just with marriages either… everyone’s ex was wrong wrong wrong and the current guy/gal is awesome and soooooooooo much better for me… yeah, we’ll see.

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  • katie May 24, 2013, 2:53 pm

    i read the entire “gay marriage guide”. i feel like i deserve a prize for it. lol

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    • rachel May 24, 2013, 2:54 pm

      Haha, good job. I thought it was really interesting, but gave up about 2/3 of the way through.

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    • Christy May 24, 2013, 3:29 pm

      Oh I can’t wait until my magazine comes! I read that thing front to back.

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      • katie May 24, 2013, 3:47 pm

        its a magazine?


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