It’s been a while since I posted one of these and this one is too good not to share:
I read your advice about the jealous girl sick of her boyfriend watching movies etc.
I completely disagree with you the movies are boast and mainly contain playboy models. Men are pigs who mentally cheat all day everyday. As far as I can tell men are in cap a able of feeling love. All they feel is a hard on.
Dont think for a minute your own douchebag husband or bf wouldnt trade you for one of those women in a second. All that matters to them is images on TV the computer or wherever.
Tell the girl she’s crazy? Youre crazy if you think any man values a regular non model women.
Singed;
Fuck you Wendy.
Thanks for your letter, Fuck you Wendy!
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LadyinPurpleNotRed November 26, 2013, 3:03 pm
I’m glad they singed fuck you Wendy instead of just signing it.
Banana November 26, 2013, 3:07 pm
Ditto. Perhaps Fuck You Wendy thought that Wendy would be feeling singed after that epic burn?
CatsMeow November 26, 2013, 3:27 pm
Hahaha. Singed. At least the LW was cap a able of using the correct “you’re” at the end.
veritek33 November 26, 2013, 3:04 pm
W.T.F?
I’m impressed the reader went back almost two years to find a letter to bitch about.
And they need a better proofreader.
ktfran November 26, 2013, 3:06 pm
Yes! I couldn’t get over how horribly the letter was written.
And her sign off was freaking hilarious. Who does that?
csp November 26, 2013, 3:44 pm
in – cap – able! I thought that was separated for emphasis
csp November 26, 2013, 4:02 pm
Also, I wonder if the person did a google search and came up with an old letter. we haven’t seen that kind of post in awhile with the questions that lead to the site.
Fabelle November 26, 2013, 4:54 pm
Yeah, that’s probably what happened— they were googling something like, “how to get bf to stop looking at other women” or “I hate when my man sees hot girls on TV the computer whatever” & then Wendy’s old letter came up, & she was like, “I AM NOT CRAZY!!11!!11! FUCK YOUUU”
something random November 26, 2013, 3:09 pm
Holy shit. This is so crazy it sounds like a bored internet troll rather than a real letter.
Fabelle November 26, 2013, 3:09 pm
Zomg this is hilarious, but awful, really. Wowww
(Also, I just went back to the letter “Fuck you Wendy” is complaining about, & weirdly was about to say something similar here, as I did in my comment back then— like, does this person never “mentally cheat”?)
Fabelle November 26, 2013, 3:11 pm
Although I don’t know why my instinct was to reply semi-seriously to this “letter” in the first place, geez
honeybeenicki November 26, 2013, 4:47 pm
Haha the kids have it in their heads that looking at another person (be it a live person IRL – do the kids say that these days? – or a photo online) is “cheating” and every time they say it we try to correct them but it seems awfully engraved. My husband and I “mentally cheat” on each other ALL THE TIME then. And sometimes at the same time with the same mental partner.
Fabelle November 26, 2013, 4:52 pm
Yeah, kids nowadays have this weird mental dichotomy of uber-liberal & uber-conservative (not the political use of those words) views about relationships/sex?? At my boyfriend’s school where he teaches, they’re propositioning girls with “lemme hit that” & talking about double blowjobs while the next minute chastising him for daring to get lunch with a female coworker, as they know he is dating me. I’m like, wtf.
painted_lady November 26, 2013, 5:05 pm
Yeah, the (male) theatre director and I spend a lot of time together for obvious reasons, and his fiancée, who also teaches here, teaches another subject and so their class time spent together is pretty minimal. He and I are pretty good friends, and the kids who don’t know all three of us keep calling me by her name and getting all confused. Which is so hilarious to me – like, how does the world look to them?
I just got chewed out by one of the girls because one of the (granted, seriously attractive) campus officers came in obviously just to hit on me and I was kinda flirting back. I clearly don’t love my boyfriend enough, y’all, because I enjoy some idle flirtation with attractive men. I’m such a whore.
painted_lady November 26, 2013, 5:10 pm
Also, a seriously attractive campus officer came in for the sole purpose of flirting with me. Can I just dwell on that for a second? I win the day before Thanksgiving break.
artsygirl November 26, 2013, 3:09 pm
I think someone skipped their meds….
the_optimist November 26, 2013, 3:23 pm
“In cap a ble” took me entirely too long to piece together. This is a gem.
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 3:23 pm
bahaha someone sure is a little insecure!
“Men rate women as most attractive when they have a waist size that is 60-70% of their hip size. To put things in perspective: The typical US undergrad has a waist that is 75% of her hip size. The average Playboy playmate is 53%, and the average fashion model is 46%. ” So there is at least one study that says you are bonkers.
lemongrass November 26, 2013, 3:52 pm
So that’s why my kid is so smart 😉
AliceInDairyland November 26, 2013, 3:52 pm
Wait… I dunno about this… if I am doing the math right. to have a waist/hip ratio of 46% and have 35″ hips (which seems reasonable) their hips would have to be 16″ which is like… impossible. Plus I thought most fashion models had more of a square figure… and a square figure would have a higher % waist to hip ratio, not lower.. right?
katie November 26, 2013, 3:56 pm
i actually tried to figure this out just now and i …. cant.
i thought curves are sexy, and always rated as most attractive, but i dont think that is what is being said here? i dunno. the maths, they are lost on me.
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 4:03 pm
Yes, it is saying the hour glass figure is the most desirable to men. It doesn’t specify a height/weight, but rather that men prefer women who are curvier. There are a bunch of other things I was reading too about how men subconsciously prefer fuller/curvier women because at a base level it means we’re more fertile.
katie November 26, 2013, 4:24 pm
ok thats what i thought- but then my knowledge of percentages is not lining up with that!
here is my problem: if your hips were 100 and waist 70 you would be at a 70%, right? but then the supermodels with the 40%, that would mean they have more curve, right…. 100 hips and 40 waist? thats a bigger difference, which means bigger curve? something is wrong there…
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 4:31 pm
Per the all knowing Wikipedia
“Waist–hip ratio or waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) is the ratio of the circumference of the waist to that of the hips. {Waist}/{Hip}”
So like mine would be 28/38 which is .736
katie November 26, 2013, 4:34 pm
well shit that is what im doing ….
you’d think id know how to do this, i use percentages and ratios all the time at my job!
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 4:35 pm
Yeah…I do math all day long but please don’t ask me what an 18 or 22 percent tip is because I have no f-ing idea. I avoid math IRL like the plague.
katie November 26, 2013, 4:36 pm
haha, IRL math… like our jobs arent real life… lol
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 4:37 pm
Hahaha. You know what I mean!
DesiDad November 26, 2013, 6:36 pm
For reference, see Ms. Lawrence in the Hunger Games.
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 4:05 pm
Mine is roughly 73. Interesting. (I did use a tape measure so it might be wonky.)
Fabelle November 26, 2013, 4:18 pm
Mine is .66 – .67 (it doesn’t let you do half inches, so I entered the rounded down then the rounded up). I don’t get it, though. haha. I mean, my hips are 12″ bigger than my waist, but I don’t get how ~they~ get the percentages from that?
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 4:22 pm
Oh yeah, I have no idea how to do the math! But apparently you’re sexy!
katie November 26, 2013, 4:25 pm
oh good no one knows how to do the math!! yay!!
Fabelle November 26, 2013, 4:30 pm
Yeah, I just read your comment above (that attempts to do the math) & my head exploded.
iwannatalktosampson November 26, 2013, 4:49 pm
It’s probably because of all that rampant homeschooling 😉
AliceInDairyland November 26, 2013, 4:53 pm
Zing.
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 4:12 pm
Oh, so worth noting. I was kinda making a joke because I’m sure there are about 600 studies that will disprove this one and about 600 will support it.
findingtheearth November 26, 2013, 3:29 pm
Does singing swear words make them more palatable for the general public?
katie November 26, 2013, 3:40 pm
come on- be real wendy. you put in the “fuck you wendy” at the end just for comedic effect!!
Flake November 26, 2013, 3:45 pm
Priceless!!! LOL
AliceInDairyland November 26, 2013, 3:48 pm
That piggie is soooooo cute. Is he available?
katie November 26, 2013, 3:51 pm
(for bacon production?)
AliceInDairyland November 26, 2013, 3:53 pm
He gets to sit on the furniture AND sleep on my bed at night…
It’s how you get the best flavor.
katie November 26, 2013, 4:26 pm
you are such an asshole bacon owner.
katie November 26, 2013, 4:26 pm
i bet you go home right after work to fry it too, and thats why your never at happy hour!!
AliceInDairyland November 26, 2013, 4:37 pm
Heeheehee. This kind of reminds me of this article I read once where a guy said that having livestock was the best decision he ever made, because he always had an automatic excuse to leave every party/happy hour/family gathering. Sorry, gotta go feed the pigs! The sheep have to be milked 2x a day every day, can’t stay!!!
That’s totally me.
AKchic_ November 26, 2013, 4:20 pm
Somebody has her panties firmly wedged up her ass.
Lily in NYC November 26, 2013, 4:39 pm
Dear OP, don’t forget to update us!
Lindsay November 26, 2013, 4:41 pm
Bahahaha. I think we can safely say that the LW hasn’t been in the company of a human man in many years.
Diablo November 26, 2013, 4:42 pm
Now ladies, let’s be fair to the argument being made.
1. All men ARE pigs. You just think. I know.
2. We do mentally cheat all day. However, sometimes in my fantasy, I turn the playboy model down because I love my wife, which I think shows a nice spirit.
3. Ugh, regular non-model women! They’re the worst. When i imagine most of you, i think of playboy models. (FYI, I don’t think i’ve looked inside a Playboy for decades. I mean, internet, duh!) When i saw a pic of AP kissing Jackson, I resisted the urge to find any kind of inner beauty or spirit there, but definitely superimposed an image of a playboy model kissing Jackson, which was pretty weird.
4. You may be incorrectly reading the tone of the sign-off. i always try to interpret “Fuck you” as a positive wish. I often answer, “That sounds nice.”
So to recap, be fair and don’t superimpose your own agenda on a letter writer. Fuck you, too, LW, and all the best!
katie November 26, 2013, 4:44 pm
ftw. allllll day long.
Diablo November 26, 2013, 4:54 pm
PS – That photo of Addie and Jackson was one of the sweetest ever to appear on the site, no offense to Wendy and drew and their love and all.
PPS – Wendy, does Drew have the internets? Because if so, your only course of action may be to become said playboy model, to keep his attention where it belongs. Is it too late to just cancel the whole internet?
Addie Pray November 26, 2013, 7:01 pm
aw i just saw this. i love diablo. and jackson.
othy November 26, 2013, 5:40 pm
I do believe most of us *are* playboy models. And those of us who aren’t playboy models actually appear in Hustler. Because, for those of us who are in happy, healthy relationships, it’s because we are not “regular non-model women.”
Diablo November 26, 2013, 5:44 pm
I knew it! I just KNEW!!!
Lucy November 27, 2013, 1:01 am
#cotd
Addie Pray November 26, 2013, 4:45 pm
Oh I love the “From the Mailbag” feature. People should write more silly things so we can see them. But you have to be serious otherwise it’s not as fun.
I wonder what happened to the guy who wanted to get to know Wendy really intimately. Remember that one? I couldn’t even read the entire letter without cringing.
Addie Pray November 26, 2013, 6:12 pm
YOU GUYS – I found a snickers bar in the bathroom by the toilet. A completely wrapped snickers bar. It’s like a miracle because I was so busy today I skipped lunch….. So, can I eat it? Yes? No?
Addie Pray November 26, 2013, 6:18 pm
What’s the rules here – ARE YOU ALLOWED TO EAT A SNICKERS BAR YOU FIND BY THE TOILET?
I personally say yes but I have been behaving questionably lately.
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 6:35 pm
Um, no. I would not advise to eat anything you find in the bathroom…
Addie Pray November 26, 2013, 6:52 pm
but but but but it’s fully wrapped!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have no idea how it got there.
i’m. so. hungry.
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 7:00 pm
yeah. that’s still a no go in my book. But they say dirt is good for you?
Addie Pray November 26, 2013, 7:00 pm
but i’ll do as you say on this one. le sigh.
bethany November 27, 2013, 8:46 am
I say yes. What’s happening in the Snickers warehouse it probably on par with the bathroom.
rachel November 26, 2013, 6:53 pm
By the toilet? Um…I’m inclined to say no. But maybe your work bathroom is less gross than mine.
Addie Pray November 26, 2013, 7:04 pm
right by the toilet. i want to know who goes into the bathroom with a snickers and places it down and does their business (and then forget it of course)?
i mean, the only thing i take to the toilet is my phone of course, duh.
missliss November 26, 2013, 9:02 pm
Hahaha…this reminds me, my grandfather’s advice for “the runs”: “Stick a Snicker bar up there…”
Diablo November 27, 2013, 11:09 am
You found my Snickers bar? give it BACK!!!
Christy November 26, 2013, 8:12 pm
You can eat it. If your firm is anything like my office, your bathroom is cleaned 2x a day and only used by employees.
But if it’s used by the public (or even clients, really) no way, jose.
jlyfsh November 26, 2013, 9:15 pm
Yeah I agree it completely depends on your bathroom. The public bathrooms where I work no, the private ones I would. BUT, more than likely the owner of the candy bar would probably go office to office where I work to hunt down who took it!
GatorGirl November 26, 2013, 8:50 pm
So, this seems like an appropraite place to put this. A while back we had a whole convo about hand washing post bathroom using. Well the other day when I was flying…I like realized you touch all over your pants, stall door, soap dispenser, and the faucet…your luggage. You know? We make a big stink about how gross it is to not wash your hands, but don’t we get grossness all I over because of the way bathrooms are designed?
Addie Pray November 26, 2013, 10:53 pm
Exactly! This is why I advocate a “relax with the hand washing in the bathroom already” position in life. … Though I accept my logic is backwards.
Miss MJ November 27, 2013, 8:03 am
Did anyone else see that Mythbusters about whether it is more sanitary to use paper towels or the air dryer? If you actually wash your hands, then it’s fine either way. But when people don’t really thoroughly wash, then use the air dryer, all they’re doing is spreading their dirty bathroom hand germs, etc. through the air and all over everything. It was disgusting. If the non-thorough hand washers used the paper towels, it was better because they managed to wipe some stuff off and not spread their ick around. So, wash your hands! And then use the paper towels in case you’re a sucky hand washer.
Classic November 26, 2013, 8:53 pm
No.
Bittergaymark November 27, 2013, 11:34 am
Hell hath no fury like a scorned ugly fat chick…