I decided that for once, I was going to do exactly what I wanted: go out to an expensive restaurant and have a big meal that I didn’t have to cook for/clean up after. I also gave myself permission to NOT feel guilty spending a lot of money when, you know, I could stay home and cook a nice meal for the two of us.
We dressed up and went out. It was FABULOUS! I may never slave over a hot stove again on T-giving. (And the Cowboys won! God LOVES us!)
You can decide how to react to what you have.
Love your advice – Mom of Four
Thank you for your note. I admit, when I read it, I wondered why you were writing about Thanksgiving now, in May. But then I realized you had an important message that was a good reminder for people, no matter what time of year: you can decide how you react to what you have. We can’t control everything that happens to us. We can’t control other people’s behavior or decisions. But we CAN control how we react to those decisions, especially when the decisions affect us and our lives. You may even find that in embracing a Plan B — a plan you likely wouldn’t have considered had it not been for other people’s decisions affecting you — you enjoy yourself as much or even more than you may have enjoyed Plan A.
This is also a good reminder, especially for those of us who struggle with guilt, that other people are in charge of their own well-being. If we make decisions that affect people’s plans, they can decide whether to react to those decisions in a positive way or a negative way. Their happiness is not dependent on our behavior – or, at least, it shouldn’t be, and it’s not out fault if it is. We are not responsible for someone else’s happiness.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com.