The thing is, I live in a small town and we have some mutual friends, so the possibility of my running into him again is fairly high. When I think about this happening, the angry gremlin side of me gnashes its teeth and can only see two (not good or mature) options: a) ignoring him; or b) confronting him. I don’t like either of these ideas, and I am wondering if you might have any insight as to how I could handle this probable encounter in a classy way? — No Ghostbuster
Yep, neither of those options are mature. Worse, if you behave that way, you risk embarrassing yourself and potentially offending someone who may have some good reasons for not getting in touch with you for the few weeks he was gone. Rather than feed the angry teeth-gnashing gremlin inside of you (and, really, perhaps some of your anger is a little . . . misdirected? Over-dramatic?) if you run into him, offer him a sincere hello and ask how he’s been. He may surprise you with an explanation for his disappearance, but, at the very least, you’ll retain your dignity and won’t have given him a reason to be relieved he’s been out of touch and has seemingly lost his chance with you.
P.S. Since being “ghosted” is a new thing for you, here’s a good lesson to learn: Not everyone you feel you connect with is always going to feel the same way. It’s not a reflection on you. Maybe timing was off. Maybe he met someone else he connected with more. Maybe, for whatever reason, it just wasn’t “there” for him. Do yourself a favor and, when that happens, just MOA. Life’s too short to get intensely angry every time you feel rejected.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].