I’m always amused by the different questions people type into their Google browser to end up at my site, so much so that I created a feature in which I address some of those very questions. It’s been a long time since I did one of these, so after the jump check out what’s been on the minds of inquiring people recently.
1. What constitutes a date?
Two people spending time together at a pre-arranged time and place in which thought and consideration is put into attire, breath mints are brought along, and fingers are crossed that, if there’s a kiss at the end, it is welcome and good.
2. Does jiggling your leg burn calories?
Yes, but not as much as shaken’ your booty.
3. What should you think when your boyfriend is sneaking around the house on porn sites and on chat lines?
That he’s not doing such a good job “sneaking” and you should probably re-think your commitment to this person.
4. Am I too fat for yoga pants?
I don’t know what you’re talking about; you look beautiful.
5. Are you supposed to spend New Year’s Eve with your girlfriend?
If you want her to still be your girlfriend the next day, yes.
6. Am I forgetting to pack something?
Your passport!! Don’t forget your passport! Also, slipper socks for the airplane.
7. What are some things couples can do together?
Try to do that thing in “Lady and the Tramp” where they kiss each other while eating the same spaghetti noodle; ride a paddle boat; make s’mores at a beach bonfire; bowling and brunch.
8. What foods are considered brunch?
It’s not about the food, my friend. It’s about the booze: mimosas, Bloody Marys, bellinis. And maybe some toast to soak it up,
9. Do I have to invite my friend’s husband to my wedding?
If you want your friend to come to your wedding (and still be your friend afterward), yes.
10. Can a 49-year-old man who’s never been married and likes to do his own thing and be alone at times get married to 36-year-old mom of one and make it work without counseling?
Take the money you’d spend on counseling and spend it on a monthly weekend away instead.